Anxiety or …

Seems every Sunday morning I experience this weird feeling. It kind of creeps up on me in the early morning hours. Just weird. And I don’t know why or where it comes from. Or I guess I do. It’s a feeling of anxiety. Now it’s never really anywhere near overwhelming. But it’s there. Lurking. Bringing on the questions. What will the day be like? What is waiting for us on that corner today? What states of intoxication will we find? What other issues will we come up against? And some Sunday mornings it is stronger than others. This morning, for instance wasn’t too bad. Just a little hint. Some mornings? It can really rear its head. Just a funny observation. Because as the morning wears on and we do our thing, it goes away. And as we make the trip downtown, it is all but gone. Then it’s time to get the game face on for His work. And that’s when the good stuff begins.

Had an awesome conversation today with a fellow named Steve. Steve has a story, like all of us. Probably in his mid to late 40s I’d guess? Got mixed up in meth and other stuff a few years back. Been clean for 14 months. Had a pretty strong conviction about never getting involved with that stuff again. Never is a long time. I know. It’s a deal I’ve seen first hand. So back in the midst of it all, Steve lost his house, job, car, and everything else that seemed to matter. Those things that seem to matter to all of us. His current address? 1702 Nicholas St., Omaha, NE. The Sienna Frances House. Homeless shelter. Ever been in a homeless shelter? I mean really been in one? If you are reading this and have never been to one, do yourself a favor and visit one. I don’t mean just go and visit. I mean find one and get the nickel tour. Whatever it takes, go serve a dinner, do whatever. But go and see what a shelter is like. So that’s Steve’s home now. But the thing about Steve? He knows Christ. I mean deeply knows. He was raised in a Christian Scientist environment. But he met a pastor a while back that challenged him to follow Christ. It worked. He’s in. We have a table we use for Bibles and New Testaments and things of that nature. I see Steve there almost weekly. In fact I was taking some pictures a couple of weeks ago and inadvertently caught him in the act.

Today I had a chance to really talk with Steve. He’s been involved in a Bible study with some guys that have been coming down to help. They go over to the Omaha Public Library right across the street from where we meet and spend a half hour or so every week. It’s a very cool thing that has happened recently. He also wants to come to our Tuesday Community groups. But for today, we had a chance to chat about stuff. How he got into his current situation? What are his plans? Where are you in the overall picture? So we had great conversation. He seems to have a pretty strong faith. It’s so interesting, because I made what probably seemed like a ridiculous statement. He told me he’s probably had opportunities to get out of the shelter. But for whatever reason, it just hasn’t happened. I said “what if that’s your cross?” What if He wants you there, in the middle of what must seem like hell at times, giving witness to others about His greatness? What if? Now I clarified it with him by making sure he understood that in no way was I saying he was in a good situation. But what if? What if it was all part of the plan?

He said he’s wanted to talk to me for a while now, about a lot of things. How we do what we do? How we manage to always have enough food. How we mange to make it down every week. All that stuff. And we prayed. Steve and I, at the back of the trailer on a raw, windy, damp February day on a street corner in downtown Omaha. Steve led. He prayed for our ministry and for the Francis House. He prayed that God would lead us on our journey together. I told him later that a great friend of ours had prayed for us. Prayed that God would place a strong, homeless Christian in our path. Someone that could help us, help them in His name. For His glory. In His honor. And here’s Steve. Chance? Who knows. I told him maybe we should pray and see where God leads us. So we did. I was blessed on that corner today. In more ways than I could imagine. And it had nothing and everything to do with a cup of soup. So where from here with Steve? Who knows? Guess we’ll find out soon enough…

A couple of personal notes. My Mom is having back surgery on Tuesday. If you are so inclined, she and I would welcome any and all prayers in that regard. It’ll be a bit of a tough recovery, but she’s a tough cookie. If anyone can bounce back from this quickly, it’s Mom. Her surgery is at 11:30 on Tuesday. I’d so appreciate your prayers for her!

One other thing. Christian and I have been talking about putting a website together for a while now. Well, it’s out there. http://www.starfishministry.com/. Check it out. It’s a work in progress. But the cool thing? We got to kind of work on it together. And he did a great job. I love the fact that all my kids are involved in this ministry in one way or another. I was talking to a couple of fellows downtown today. John, Melvin, Paul and I were having a bit of conversation and I told them how unbelievably blessed I am as a father and husband. I have great kids, an awesome wife and I don’t deserve any of it. And now? I get to watch my oldest son become a young man and do things like this. What a blessing. And I get to go downtown every week and experience great fellowship with my family and great people like Steve and all the other great people that cross our paths. And my oldest boy is now Christian, the starfishministy.com webmaster. :)

1 John 3 16-18
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

..."it matters to that one"... :)

How does 5° = -11°?

Today the temperature was 5°. But the “feel like” temp was -11°. Is there really a difference between 5° or -11°? Minus 11 degrees. Are you kidding me? Do you know what happens at minus 11 degrees? Snot freezes. Half ‘n Half coffee creamer freezes. Your standard house cleaners that one would use to clean a table after serving a few of our favorite, diehard friends freezes. Everything freezes. Did I mention that snot freezes at that temperature? It does. And so does everything else. I sometimes wonder if God isn’t testing us. He must have a sense of humor. Has to. Because the only way we’d go downtown in this kind of weather is to see what kind of nutty people might show up, us included. We know some of our friends live in tents down by the river. I asked Tom today if he was still outside or back outside. He has a “waterside residence” down by the mighty Missouri River. I know that lately he’s been staying indoors at the Francis House. So today I checked to see if he’s gone back out yet. Me – “Tom, you back outside yet?” Tom – “You nuts?” I just laughed and said yeah…I’m nuts. I must be to venture out on days like this. When absolutely everything freezes. Fortunately, we have a propane cooker to keep food warm for a while. They have to eat quickly though or…you guessed it, it freezes. 11 degrees below zero. That’s insane. Funny thing though? They still show up. I have no doubt that I’d be wimping out in a shelter somewhere. Not these guys. They’re coming for some good fellowship I suppose. Good food. Good stuff. Good times in His name. God’s good blessings. Amazing.

Jean comes down to help every week. I mentioned previously that we graduated together recently. Her son called Nick last night and asked if he was going to the picnic on Sunday? The picnic? Has ol’ Nick perplexed. He looks at Robin and asks if we’re going to a picnic on Sunday? Well, duh Nick. We go to one every Sunday. Just because it’s going to be 11 DEGREES BELOW ZERO doesn’t mean we’ll skip out on this one. Just funny to me how different people view this thing that happens every Sunday. Nick’s buddy John views it as a picnic. So do I. A walk in the park, if you will. Just better bundle up for days like this. And there were guys there without coats. I’m stunned when I see that. Never ceases to amaze me that someone would even venture outdoors in that kind of weather without a coat…or gloves…or a hat? But they do. And God usually blesses us with the provisions to make sure they are taken care of. I simply take for granted that my family is taken care of when it comes to these things. It is heart wrenching to see someone there in need…to see them so cold they are shaking….to see them so hungry…to see them so hungry for a relationship…with Christ. Because deep down that is the only thing that will save any of us from ourselves. I’ve proven time and again that when I think I have any of this figured out, I am humbled rather quickly.

Met a guy today by the name of Chris. Just go into town from Des Moines. I think he said he was originally from St. Louis. He’d been living on the river in Des Moines. Well, Chris, I know a couple of guys in that neighborhood. Have a couple of friends that hang out in the neck of the woods. Bob and Al. Great guys. He knew ‘em. Amazing what a small world we live in. Chris came to Omaha with a young lady. They got here Friday night. He hasn’t seen her since. So here he was. In need. IN 11 DEGREES BELOW ZERO weather. Man. Could have picked a better time to come to Omaha. Like Summner?

Talked to my friend John today. John is homeless by choice. I’ve written about him a few other times. Used to live under a bridge. Been staying at the Francis House the past few weeks. Been sober the past few weeks also. Seems there was a death in the family recently. His sister in Arkansas wanted him to come. He wants to. Just having trouble getting there. John is a fascinating fellow. I’d love to sit and pick his brain someday just for the stories. He’s the guy that I used to watch go through the line over and over to fill a jar with soup. I watched him one day go through about 3 or 4 times and pour his cup into a jar. I finally took the jar from him and filled it up. He was making me tired just watching him. Robin got him a thermos the next week so he wouldn’t have to work so hard and his soup would stay warm. Made sure to get a picture with John today. Could be gone soon and he says if he goes, he “ain’t coming back”. Can’t blame him. Don’t think it gets to 11 below zero in Arkansas.

Got a couple of interesting phone calls this week. First one was from a fellow named Scott. Scott left a while back to do some work in Vegas. He called earlier in the week and talked to Robin. Just wanted to let us know he was ok and that things were going pretty well. He’s in South Dakota currently, working. Has a place and seems to be doing well. We see so many people come and go. It’s impossible to know how they are all doing. Where they’ve all gone. Impossible to know if the love we share for Christ ever makes a dent in some of that tough street armor that we see so often. But every once in a while we get a phone call or a message from someone we’ve met on that corner to let us know that they are doing ok. Got a call from Gabe last night. Gabe was a mess when we first met him well over a year ago. He was a hustler for sure. Not in a mean, intentional way I don’t think. Just a survivalist. Gotta do what you gotta do, I suppose. I was always a little skeptical. And then he disappeared. Resurfaced a few weeks ago. Now the last time I saw him, he said he was battling cancer. Sometimes we hear stories and I’m not real sure what to believe sometimes. But he definitely looked the part. Thin, frail…the works. So he shows up a few weeks ago and he seems to be doing great. Called me last night and just wanted to let us know that he’s doing well. Working, has a place to stay and seems to be taking the steps necessary. And says that the Lord must have plans for him, or else he wouldn’t have made it this far. And sober. That‘s always good. Tough to break through when the alcoholism is raging. But when a guy is sober? Good stuff. God stuff. Can’t wait to see what God has in store for Gabe.

Been listening to a lot of the new David Crowder CD lately. New CD is called Remedy. What a great collection of songs. Two of my favorites are Remedy and Surely We Can Change Something. Remedy is about the only thing that can save us from ourselves. The Remedy. God. Our Savior. Pretty simple concept really, yet so very complex. He is indeed the Remedy. But on the flip side, we can also be the remedy. To a busted and broken world. I love that song. But I think I like the closing song on this CD just a little better. They lyrics are so cool. I’ll just post them here. It’s a pretty profound lyric and I can do it no justice. Blessed it what comes to mind. But the gist is that we can all do something to change the silliness of our world. Surely we can change something…in His name…for His Glory…in His Honor. Can’t we?

The song…
***************
And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh, surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change
***************

So…it was bitter cold today. But I felt like we showed up. In His Name. Because it’s what He’d have us do. No matter the reason we might want to stay in the comfort of our own homes. It shouldn’t be about our comfort. And in spite of the weather, we had a good day today. In His presence. And I love Him with all my heart, mind and soul. I’m blessed beyond anything I deserve. And I probably deserve a few days in 11 degrees below zero. Definitely. Now Robin? Well that’s a different story. Have I mentioned lately how much she enjoys Nebraska winters? :)

Peace and have a great and blessed week!

“…it matters to that one”… :)

16212?

16212 days. Have any idea what happens in 16212 days? A lot. A couple of weeks ago, a young fellow by the name of Bryan came to me with the following. Said “Dave, I know your birthday is September 1st – what year were you born?” I told him 1963. He then comes up with this. “Dave, you were born 16212 days ago. It was a Sunday.” Now I obviously have no way of verifying this on a downtown street corner, so I write it down. I think to myself, “self, this guy is nuts”. Well, I get home and check it out. Sure enough. 16212 days ago was indeed a Sunday and it was the day of my birth. How in the world did Bryan know that? And how is a guy that is has this phenomenal way with numbers living inches above the poverty line?

Bryan’s just been coming around for a few months. He’s a different kind of fellow. First of all, he has a speech impediment. Stutters. Pretty badly. Difficult phone conversationalist. I know. We’ve tried. So he’s been calling. A lot. And texting. And with Bryan, that is the preferred method for obvious reasons, just maybe not quite so much. So he’s calling asking for things. Help. Just got an apartment. Needs everything. Yesterday, I brought some furniture to his apartment. Very modest place. Upstairs in an old house in midtown Omaha. Little over 500 square feet. I helped him get the furniture up to his place and he was grateful. I left his place wondering what he’d need next? He was trying to get a sofa bed from a fellow he knows. The guy calls me one day last week. Sort of gives me the lowdown on Bryan. I always wonder how these guys show up on our corner? What leads them there? In Bryan’s case, he was in a motorcycle accident when he was 14. Severe head trauma. And now? Living just above the poverty level and just a step ahead of homelessness. Well, apparently Bryan might have other issues as well. Don’t we all? I noticed a couple of empty liquor bottles in his apartment. Now, I’ve never seen him intoxicated. Some of the guys that come downtown on Sundays, well they are almost always in various states of intoxication. Not this guy. Just an observation while I was unloading the furniture up that narrow flight of stairs. Today, as the day wore on, there seemed to be a bit of tension among a few of the folks on our corner. Someone at one point told me that a few guys were getting ready to jump a guy. I told him he had to do better than that. Who and who? That guy over there he said. Well, there were about 100 guys over there. C’mon Lester, who are you talking about? We walked over to where he was pointing and eventually he pointed out the fellow that was maybe in a little trouble. It was Bryan. According to a few of the guys, he’s a known offender. Made the list. And he’s maybe just a little different. So I’m asking one of the guys if he knows this to be a fact. And if so, why isn’t he on the list? Because I try to know who’s on the list. It’s a fact that we have lots of different issues on that corner. The usual suspects. Alcoholism, drug use, felons, etc. And the big elephant in the room. Sex offenders. We know. We try to stay aware and keep on our toes in regards to this. Maybe he wasn’t on the list because his offense occurred before he was a certain age? Maybe he’s not on the list at all? I don’t know. But does that mean we treat him differently? I don’t think so. Just have to be a little more aware and let him know of the boundaries that need to exist, I guess. New territory for us…

So today, it snowed on us. Not a lot, and it wasn’t all that cold. If that makes sense. It was a wet snow. Melting pretty fast. Making a mess of things. We have a canopy that we can put up on these kinds of days and we rarely use one. We did today. Kept the people serving and the food clean and dry. Great chicken tortilla soup today and our friends raved about it…

Harry was back today. Been a few weeks since we saw him. Been in jail for a few weeks for trespassing. This is a guy who fought in Viet Nam. A Veteran. He was still there when everyone left today. We talked for a bit. As I squatted down to chat with Harry, I kind of looked into his eyes. It was a deep darkness and sadness that was there. We talked about not giving up. He said he wouldn’t. I’m not so sure. Been barred from both of the shelters in the downtown area. Had a place to stay for the night, and was going to talk with Mike, the director of the Sienna Francis House on Monday to see about getting into a treatment program. I pray that he’ll make it there on Monday. Harry has much to offer, and needs a chance. But he has to take it.

Talked to a couple of other fellows today. Roger, a shorter fellow and Leo the atheist. Now I didn’t know until today that Leo was of that mindset. I do now. I asked him why? Said it wasn’t possible. What isn’t possible? None of this. How is God possible? And then we were interrupted. Now, Leo the atheist was feeling very little pain, so I’m not sure our conversation would have gone real far. So how is God possible? I’m not sure I’ve ever really hade this discussion with anyone before, not at this level anyway. It’ll be interesting over the next few times that I see Leo the atheist. I want to see why He’s not possible? I want to know what Leo the atheist believes and why?

For some reason, I’ve had a couple of opportunities to spend some good one on one time with Nick over the last couple of days. The two of us went to a movie on Saturday. The strangest thing happened. We went to a dollar theater. Both of us got in for two bucks. What a deal. It’s an older theater in South Omaha. I know that a few of our friends from the homeless community go there occasionally. We sat down in the darkened theater and I smelled it. The smell of homelessness. If you’ve ever smelled it, you never forget it. It was the strangest thing, because I kept looking around and saw no one that looked the part. It was like the guy was sitting right next to me. But nothing. And Nick smelled it too. My only thought leaving the theater was that this would be something that would be with us for the duration. We are becoming intertwined with it. This thing called homelessness. And this morning Nick was out in the garage keeping me company, helping and doing a little talking. Lots of talking actually. But one thing we did together was pray. We prayed over a pair of new sneakers. And Nick led. That God would bless those sneakers. This simple pair of sneakers for a guy named John. That God would bless them and bless John. It was a simple moment in the garage, but it was so symbolic to me in the bigger picture. Nick is a kid with lots of feelings. And when he gets inquisitive, he goes there. He was asking me all sorts of questions this morning. About my past. About my past vices. Innocent questions, because he really didn’t know the answers. And Nick is 10. So he doesn’t need to know every gory detail. But I shared with him that I did some things I’m not proud of . Things that dishonored God. I explained, to the best of my abilities, how difficult it is for some of our friends. I know. Been there in some cases. In Bryan’s case? Not so much. But does he deserve any less because of his choices and situation? Don’t think so. And does Harry deserve less because he’s had a rough life and continues to make bad choices? Nope. None of them are any different than any of us, just different circumstances. In 16212 (actually 16226 now…) days, a fellow can make lots of bad choices and find himself in lots of different circumstances.

We were blessed to honor God today. Even in the snow, with a hundred or so of our friends, we were blessed to be in the presence of our Lord. What a great day. What a blessing it is to serve people like Bryan and Harry alongside a great kid like Nick. Hopefully? We’ll do it for another 16212 days, the Good Lord willing.

"If you oppress poor people, you insult the God who made them; but kindness shown to the poor is an act of worship....Proverbs 14:31 (GNT)

Peace and have a great and blessed week!

“…it matters to that one…”

What a week!!

An accident, a graduation, interaction with three different churches, a couple parties and a great day downtown. Yep…what a week! What a God we serve. I am blessed far beyond anything I deserve. I have no idea how or why. I just know that I have been blessed with a family that provided much support over the last year and a half or so while I pursued the completion of my Bachelor's degree. I mention this because they were so vital in my being able to complete this milestone. By the grace of God…

This week was a blur. I was in a car accident on Tuesday. Coming home from work, a fellow in the lane next to me on I-480 decided he liked my lane better than his and made a hard left into my lane. Things like that happen pretty fast. We've all been there. It was pretty surreal. One minute I'm cruising home planning my workout, just kind of unwinding in my mind, the next minute I'm playing Mario Andretti on the temporary concrete barrier set up on the east side of the interstate. I was literally up on the wall for what seemed like a couple of seconds. Amazing how something like that can happen so fast… Tom is a homeless fellow we know. Met Tom quite a while back now it seems. Severe alcoholic to my untrained eye. Doesn't take much to see the severity of Tom's problem. To some, maybe Tom just needs to get a grip on his problems. To Tom, well it seems much deeper than that. You see, Tom lost his wife and kids in an auto accident. I'm guessing it happened pretty fast. I don't know if Tom had a drinking problem before the accident. He does for sure now. And he got another little gift from the accident to boot. A glass eye. Offered to take it out for me once. I declined. Seems it "fell" out at the mission recently. Someone took it. That's right. Someone took his eye. Is this the type of thing a guy like Tom has to deal with? He's in the process of getting a new one, but my goodness. When I saw Tom today, and as I reflected on my accident, I am thankful and so grateful that I drove away from my situation. Tom wasn't so lucky. And now he pays daily.

I mentioned I graduated yesterday. It was a pretty emotional day and I was somewhat surprised by it. I spent a year and a few months in an accelerated program with a great group of people. Several of whom have been down to help on Sundays and one who comes down every single week. She is a blessing to us in so many ways. I sat next to her during our ceremony yesterday and we had a chance to talk about the new connections we make constantly on that corner. Her daughter, a high school senior, is a regular also. They are invested. Committed. It just amazes me that they started coming down to help and even more so that they continue to come. I say this because it seems so many people come and go. It is so refreshing to see people like this jump in and be so committed. God is working here and I can't wait to see where He takes us. What connections will be made? One of the most amazing things I'm beginning to see on a fairly consistent basis is the ability of people to come, commit, and invest in what is happening on that corner. It is an experience to be sure. And now because I met a great lady in a class at a local university, we are connected for the long haul. I graduated yesterday from the classroom. But and the things I learned over that 15 month period spent in the classroom are so small compared to the important work and real life stuff that happens every Sunday on that corner. The work done in the name of God.

Paradise was back this week. Paradise Baptist Church. They came and they conquered. They have committed to provide a meal once a month to the ladies and gentlemen that converge on that downtown corner each week. Today they once again did it up right. What a blessing to have them there. For obvious reasons. But one thing it allows for us is a break from cooking for Robin. And all the folks that so diligently provide on a weekly basis. John's been cooking lately and was somewhat disappointed that he didn't get to cook today! Now that's commitment! :) And Trinity Lutheran Church helped out and continues to help out with so many provisions. Loads of blankets this week. A garage full of new coats, hoodies, gloves, hats, etc. in the past. What a blessing. I remember scrambling last winter, spending whole Saturdays going from thrift store to thrift store trying to find coat and things. This year? We literally place boxes of coats on the sidewalk and let people take what they need. I am convinced that if we are obedient to His call and do the work up front, and He sees that we are indeed all in, He will provide in such a way that it will absolutely blow our minds. He does. And it does. Amazing. We went to church twice today. Since we had no food to prepare this morning, we attended church at Corem Deo. We left there and went to church again. Every single time I leave that corner, I feel as though I've been to Church. It is good. So many opportunities to share with people about our faith. I spoke to an older fellow today, very briefly. William was his name. He lives in an apartment right around the corner. Not homeless, but mot exactly living the high life either. Asked him how he was doing. Said he was doing great because he was living for his Lord. Good answer William. Older fellow. Very genuine. I'll seek him out more for sure. I love talking with guys like that, because it seems to be a good way to draw others into a conversation.

I was talking with another fellow as I was loading the trailer. I've mentioned Eric before. He lost his wife five and a half years ago. He receives a monthly disability check. I'm guessing it isn't much. He told me of abusive parents, of how his parents actually told him to go out "get hit by a car so he wouldn't be a burden on them". Huh? And how he was beaten up in school. And then when he lost his wife, apparently something went wrong with his ability to manage his life. If I were to describe Eric, he just seems like a kid trapped in an adult's body. I wish I would have known Eric before his wife's death. What was he like then? He has a daughter in California. Soon to be a grandfather. Was on his way there when his car broke down in Council Bluffs, IA. He found the Open Door Mission. Been here in Omaha for over five years now. Has the best smile. I love Eric. I love talking with him. He always waits around and we almost always get a chance to talk. He comes down every week and we always chat before he leaves. Today we were talking about God vs. science. He asked me what I thought about it? Another fellow, Wayne, was standing there, so I threw it over to him. His response? Well, God created science, so….and we had a great conversation around that. They know we're coming every week and they know why. They know Who sends us. They know Who we "work" for. Some may never believe, in fact I know some will never believe, but that won't stop us from going in His name.

At our Bible study on Tuesday, we read from Isaiah. We were reading from chapter 53 and the following struck me….

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Now obviously we are talking about Jesus here. But as I read the words and as I read them again this morning, I couldn't help but think of a homeless individual. What an opportunity we have in front of us! To share the love of our Christ with those who are marginalized and mistreated. Misfits. The suffering. Because they may be looking for hope and they may be longing for change, and the only way they'll ever find either is through Christ! I can't offer much, besides the connections we've made that allow a guy to get a good pair of boots or a good meal or a great cup of Scooter's coffee. But I can share the Love. And I will. Every single Sunday at noon…

Peace and have a great and blessed week!

…"it matters to that one"… :)

It’s just soup…

Man was it cold today!! Not sure on the temps, but IT WAS COLD!! Nice thing about it for me is that I get to move around quite a bit down there and I’ve learned how to dress. All about layers and nice boots. Got to have a good pair of boots and a pair of good wool socks. But man it was cold. And then I see that our friends in Charlotte are having a dose of real winter weather. Guess it doesn’t matter where you live for this weekend? And I wonder how some of our friends downtown manage to stay outdoors in this kind of weather. I do not know how they do it.

I was talking to Tom today. Tom had been staying in a tent down by the river. Has a goose and everything. Yes, a real live goose. Tom finally gave in and headed to a shelter. Been on the streets since 2001. Why? Just quit. Was drinking pretty heavily at the time and just gave up. I asked him if he drinks now, because unlike a lot of our friends, I‘ve never seen him the least bit intoxicated. His answer? Not anymore. Might have a drink from time to time. But no more living for it. So why does he choose to live in a tent by the river? You ever been down by the river? It’s always colder there. Why does a guy choose to be there in this climate? Don’t know the answer. Now he has finally chosen to go in. But when the weather breaks, and I’d guess that means temps in the 20s or 30s, he’ll be back out. Great guy. Strange choices. But he does indeed have a goose. He was leaving today on his bike to go back to feed the goose. Need to find out if the goose has a name. One other thing Tom said made me laugh a little. He said he wasn’t sure if we’d be there. I said c’mon man!! We’ve not missed a Sunday in 14 months. Why then would we choose to do so today??!! So it was COLD and SNOWING!! He said he knew. The others had set him straight. Told him diehard Dave would be there. I just laughed. I’ve been called lots of things. That’s a new one. If there’s one thing God blessed me with, it’s a desire to see a task to completion. Now I don’t always make it. But this one is far too important. We’ll be there each and every Sunday, God willing. Diehard!

Something really cool is beginning to happen on that corner. I mean lots of cool things are happening. But I believe that as word gets out that the opportunity is there and all a person or persons has to do is show up, more people are taking advantage of what God is offering there. Take this for instance. I mentioned in an earlier blog about a fellow by the name of Robert. If I got the story correctly, Robert was in the Old Market one night. For those not familiar with Omaha, the Old Market is a place just south and east of downtown Omaha. Kind of an old, historical district with shops and restaurants. Real popular place. So Robert is there one night with some kids from his youth group. Who does he meet? My friend Bill. And what does Bill do? He invites Robert to our Sunday activities. So here’s a homeless fellow inviting Robert to visit us. How cool is that?! And Robert has been praying for God to place a burden on his heart. Something to do for the Lord. And He delivers. And now Robert comes every week. And has started a small fellowship/Bible discussion at the library. And Steven, a fellow who lives at the Sienna Francis House shelter is in. And seems to be hungry. And John, another fellow who has been helping us on a weekly basis is going to take part also. John is cooking, helping out with all sorts of things and just generally following what Christ calls us all to do. Help the least of those. So here are 3 different guys from 3 different walks of life joining together in a public library to discuss the Word of God because they met on a street corner in downtown Omaha. So is it just soup?

Here’s another one. Eric. Now, I met Eric a few months ago. My first thought of Eric when I initially met him was he seems to have some kind of something that’s just not quite clicking. He has his own place. He is a very happy fellow. What’s Eric’s story? Eric’s wife died 5 years ago in Wisconsin. I think he told me how she died, but I honestly can’t remember. He’s 42 and has a daughter who lives, I believe, in California. He was on his way to visit his daughter 5 years ago and his car broke down in Omaha, on I-80. He took up residence at the Open Door Mission and started coming down to our corner on Sundays. Eventually, he managed to get his own place. But why stay? Is that how a lot of these guys end up here? I try to put myself in a guy like Eric’s shoes and I’d like to think I’d find a way out. But I don’t think it’s that easy. So he’s been here for 5 years. Homeless at first. Barely above that now. I don’t know. But he always waits around after everyone leaves and I always try to get to him to chat for a few minutes. Seems to be all he wants. I mean he always eats. But he never asks for anything. Just waits on the outer edges to chat. Today we talked about people in the Bible living for hundreds of years. Can’t remember how we got on that specific topic, but we talked. And that is what it’s all about. Getting to know the Erics a little better each week. And letting God lead the conversations. And listening. Really listening. And that is difficult for me at times, because Sundays are full of activity and I sometimes feel as though my head is on a swivel because of all the activity that is going on at any given time on that corner. And all the friends I want to get to. Just not enough time to get to everyone. But Eric always waits. It’s not just soup…

Got a call this week from the youth pastor at Kountze Memorial Lutheran Church. Looking for a service project for the kids in his group. So they came down today to just kind of see what it is we do. Could they come and help in some way and make it meaningful to the kids, while also serving in the greater mission? Sure. The opportunity exists for anyone to come and do what it is He calls them to do. See, for me the bigger picture is becoming clearer all the time. All we had to do was open the non-existent doors. The wall-less, open air expanse that God has blessed us with is simply one big fat opportunity for anyone who feels the need. Or the desire to help. The hunger to do exactly as we are directed. In His name. For His glory. Because that’s what it’s all about. And the folks from Kountze are going to help. And the folks from Paradise Baptist are coming back next week and they’re bringing a big batch of food. Doing all the cooking. And the folks from Trinity Lutheran Church in Papillion have blessed us and our friends with way too many things to mention. That’s one of the coolest things about this ministry for me. People from all walks of life, all denominations, all ages, all coming together in the name of God to take care of our friends as best we can. It’s not just soup.

You see, before we left to go downtown today, we prayed. We do every week. Robin, myself and another couple who’ve been in since practically day 1. As we prayed, and Paul prayed that God would lead us with the right actions and words, he mentioned that it’s just soup. This time of year, we’re pretty limited on what we bring for meals. Logistically, it almost has to be some kind of soup. And even that is difficult to keep warm in sub zero temps. But what Paul meant and spoke to in our prayer was that sure, it started with and continues weekly with a big pot of soup. Or many big pots of soup. And it’s a good home cooked meal, or guys wouldn’t leave the warm confines of the day shelter to come the mile or so to have a cup of soup in this kind of weather. But it’s more that that. And Paul spoke to that very eloquently in his prayer. It’s about sharing the love of Christ with our friends every single week. Like a diehard. Never giving up. Never missing an opportunity. All through a cup of soup, a bit of bread, some really good Scooter’s coffee, maybe a cup of hot chocolate and a whole lot of His love. And that’s the single most important aspect.

I have to say I wouldn’t trade this for anything. Maybe a week here and there in our old church in Charlotte. That community that we long for. But for now, we get to do this. Who knows where it goes from here? I don’t and that’s ok. No need. The best thing I can do is to stay out of the way and let Him work. Because He is. And when He does, the most amazing things happen.

It’s just soup?!!!! Well it is, but it’s not. :)

Peace and have a great and blessed week!

…”it matters to that one”… :)

It’s not about me/us?

I started this online journal sometime last year. This thing for me was a means for keeping track of what was going on at any given time in this ministry that God has most definitely blessed us with. Looking back, it lets me do several things. It gives me a way of going back and seeing what changes have taken place in His ministry. It also lets me see what may have been happening at any given time within our downtown activities. But I'd venture to guess the most important thing for me is it simply gives me an outlet to express some thoughts and ideas, some good…some maybe not so good. It really was meant to be a personal journal of my own journey. I try to think of a few things that happen each Sunday and then pray and ask God to give me the words to express my thoughts in a way that would be pleasing to Him. The problem? They've not always been pleasing to others. I'll get to that more later.

The thing is, for me anyway, is that none of this is about me…or us. I try my hardest not to make it about me. Or us. I told Robin last night I wish we could have gone down the first day with one of those goofy wrestling masks. That way no one would even know who we were. I know that sounds totally ridiculous and I'm really only being facetious. But it's clearly not about us. It's about Him. It's about His Glory. His Greatness. I talked to a fellow last Sunday who comes to our Tuesday Bible study. He came down after attending church last week. It was his first visit to our corner. And his response, after standing back and taking it all in, was something along the following lines. "Man, you guys have really blown this thing out". My response? Man, we've done nothing. He has really blown it out. All we've done is what He asks us all to do. Something. In His name. For His Glory. Another comment he made was along the lines of how difficult it would be to walk away from these Sunday happenings without being a little puffed up and beating his chest just a little. And he has a point. But you see, it's not about us. Never has been. Never will be. It's all about giving God the praise and glory He so richly deserves. Not about us.

Id' like to make this a little personal this week. I mean it's always somewhat personal, but this week, I'd like to attempt to go a little deeper yet. The past few months and even the last year or so have been a real struggle in some ways. But the last couple of weeks have been a real struggle for me personally. It's not like I won't get through my issues, but I've really been feeling some pressure lately and it is a real struggle to not think about it daily, if not hourly. It has to do with personal relationships and such. And how do we, as humans, allow them to go so terribly wrong sometimes. I guess this is my attempt to add a little clarity to some of my thoughts and feelings of the past year or so, if that is at all possible. Over the course of the past year, I've mentioned things in my blogs that may have challenged or offended people close to me. I can say this up front. Never, and I mean never, have I ever attempted to point at someone and say mean or ugly things. These blogs are simply a collection of my thoughts, placed in a public forum obviously, but the real intent has been to sit down, pray about where God is leading me, and then simply put my thoughts down on paper. Or electronic paper, so to speak. While I may have, at times, been somewhat defensive or come across as irritated, I've never intended to be malicious. I've never intended to be angry. I've never intended to hurt anyone or mislead anyone. I really just wanted an outlet to share the wonderfully amazing things God is doing in my family's lives and in this ministry. However, when the "adversarial one" sees good things happening in His name, he tends to want to get involved, if you know what I mean. And unfortunately, I have a tendency to mess things up. Why does it have to be so stinking complicated at times? All I really want to do is stand on the rooftops of downtown Omaha buildings and tell everyone who will listen what great people we have the opportunity to serve each and every week. I want to tell of the relationships that we have begun to develop with some really great people that tend to get marginalized in lots of cases. I've wanted to share with those closest to us and anyone else who will listen, what a great and awesome God we serve and what great and amazing things He's doing in my life, my family's lives and the lives of those around me. That's all. It's really as simple as that. It really is. One problem with an outlet like this can be the fact that inflection and intention can be misunderstood at times. It's quite hard to express different emotions and it's quite easy to read a few lines and get an entirely different meaning. It also easy to write something that may hurt someone. And once it's done, you can't take it back. I guess it speaks to the old cliché about the written word cutting like a knife. Once the knife is inserted and the cut is made, well…

One thing I've learned is that it's been very therapeutic for me to do this on a weekly basis. I honestly can go back and read some of these on occasion and see God's words. Not mine. So from that aspect, it is good. And I can see where maybe I mentioned an individual and maybe see where that specific individual is now. Or see how much change has happened in certain aspects of this wonderful ministry that God has so blatantly placed in our laps. For instance, we have over 40 people helping on a regular basis now. 40! We needed 'em. God sent 'em. From all different aspects of our lives. From my workplace. From home school groups. From a college class. From my family. From wherever. It is amazing to me to see God work in this ministry and my blogs are simply meant to be an outlet to let others know just how great He's been in this thing. And for me, this is new ground all around. If you'd told me a few years ago that we'd be doing something like this, and I'd be all in, I'd have told you that you were crazy. Absolutley, out of your mind, going over the edge crazy. Something like this is entirely too far out of my comfort zone. But I realized it's not about my comfort. Not about my anything. Not about me. And He certainly has a way of directing our journeys if we let Him.

I guess I say all of this to say the following. If I've offended anyone over the course of the last year, and I know I have, you have my deepest and sincerest apologies. From the bottom of my heart. I say it publicly because this is where it is. I ask for forgiveness and ask that you keep us in your prayers. We Laneys are in uncharted waters, from many standpoints. We've simply tried to go where the Lord is leading us. And he is clearly leading, because there is no way this could be happening on a weekly basis without His guidance. Have we made mistakes? Unfortunately, yes. Will w make more? Unfortunately, yes. We are only human. But I cannot remember the last time I set out to intentionally hurt someone. I've certainly experienced feelings towards those I love. But I'd never go out of my way to hurt anyone. And I realize these are just words. But they are my words from deep within after prayerful consideration. I've really been searching for answers lately. I have lots of questions and the answers aren't as free flowing as I'd maybe like. I guess we've all been there. It's been a journey. It'll continue to be so. That much I'm sure of. But if I'm honest and if I'm really following what I believe to be the Lord's calling for us, then we, as a family, have to continue on. Have to.

I could go on...I won't.

I'm sorry. And I ask for your prayers and forgiveness. Guess I sort of did make it about me/us after all…

I took my troubles to the Lord;
I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer.
Psalm 120:1

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

..."it matters to that one"... :)

How are you spending your Dash?

What an amazing day! So today was almost like the first day of Spring! Here in Omaha when the weather gets in the 40s in January, you're thinking Spring! But the reality is that we have a few months of ugly coming. Today, however was indeed good. And what a day?! We had old friends back to visit, had another visit from the Omaha Fire and Rescue folks, had some friends deliver loads of brand new coats and just too many other things to remember. Those couple or three hours that we spend on that corner each Sunday are beginning to have lots of features. :)

Our day really started on Friday evening at the memorial service we attended. Our friend Doug passed away at the young age of 42 a few weeks ago. We attended a service in his honor Friday at the Open Door Mission. It was probably one of the coolest memorial services I've ever attended. For lots of reasons. I mean, Doug is gone. That pains us all. He was a great guy and someone we were just really getting to know. Developing a friendship with him and getting to go a little deeper. But the pastor at the shelter who delivered the message was right on with that message. One thing I took away was this – how am I living my dash? You know the dash. That mark on the tombstone that separates our birth date from our death date. Our dash. Our life. Here on earth. How are you living yours?

A couple of long lost friends returned to our corner today. Gabe's been in jail for a while. Seems he had a debt to take care of. Satisfied that debt by doing some time. He's a short Italian fellow. Last time I saw him he was doing pretty badly. Told us he had cancer. Was losing lots of weight. Didn't have that much to lose, so we were worried about him. I've often wondered over the past year or so if he didn't lose his fight with cancer? Hadn't seen him for a long time, so I had to wonder. I was having lunch with my Mom Friday at a Quizno's sandwich shop downtown and I swore I saw Gabe walk by outside. Nah. Couldn't be. Could it? I haven't seen him in almost a year. Couldn't be. So we run into him at the Memorial service on Friday night. Sure enough. It was him. And he was back today on our corner. Telling me he knew that God had a purpose for him and helping his buddy who is confined to a wheelchair. It was good to see him again. And Wolf was back. We met Wolf early on and saw him weekly for a while. Helped him move a couple of times from shelters to apartments to motel rooms to apartments to rooming houses. Big dude. Easy 6'5" and maybe a biscuit shy of 300 pounds. Good guy. Good to see him again. Working regularly and living on the outskirts of Omaha. Doing well. Was good to see him also. Nice to see him come back and pay us a visit.

Our friend Mark had to be taken away in an ambulance today. Not sure what happened. Someone called me over and he was already down. Looked like he had a seizure or something…not sure. He wasn't really sure where he was. I leaned down to try to see if I could do anything as Robin was trying to get through one her phone to get help. Mark was in pretty rough shape. Been drinking. But he did recognize me. He started to cry when I asked if I could do anything. He mentioned his wife, Pamela. And cried some more. It was really weird. And sad. I prayed with him there and he got it. He pointed up and said He was with us. And He was. They took Mark off in an ambulance…

I met Denise today for the first time. She already knew me somehow. Denise is an African American woman. If I were to guess, I'd say in her 50s? A victim of domestic violence. And apparently she has a bit of a drinking problem. Her face was pretty disfigured. From beatings I guess. How does that happen? I just don't understand. I must have called 7 or 8 different shelters to see if she could get a place to stay. No room. Worked the phone off and on the entire time we were on that corner today. At one point it wasn't looking good. I told her so. She broke down. I told her it wasn't over yet. We'd keep trying. Finally I found someone at the Lydia House and they had an opening. She told me she'd been there before. In the program. But she didn't understand that "Bible stuff". Then when I told her that she was in? Her response? God is good. I told her she did understand that Bible stuff. She laughed and said it again. God is good. She was in rough shape. I hope she makes it. God willing, she'll make it. He is good. :)

Something really cool is beginning to happen on that corner. Others are starting to take more and more ownership of this ministry. I think we served 171 meals today. On a January day in the middle of downtown Omaha, God blessed us with 171 meals. With that comes the need for people to help serve. God sends 'em. And when they take ownership and do His work, it is amazing. Every single thing that happens on that corner is His doing. We had a couple show up a few months ago. They are trying to get back on their feet. Trying to make a go of it. Another couple that has been instrumental in making this ministry go has taken them under their wing and I am amazed at how God is working there. We just have to be available and He will absolutely use us. And when He does, the results are usually pretty remarkable. I spent a few minutes talking to another fellow who has been bringing his family down to help recently. He also is in. Cooked this week. And wants to do more. There's plenty to do. I can't wait to see how God uses these folks. He is truly amazing.

So my dash is being spent presently on a street corner in downtown Omaha. There, we get to spend a few hours each Sunday in the open air confines of Gods greatness. With a couple hundred of our newest friends and family. In His fellowship. What a great opportunity! To think that God would bring us all together under the guise of us ministering to them? Ha! I think it definitely works both ways mostly. And it never seems like work. I was in our garage at 8:00 a.m. this morning, listening to good worship music, praying over all the stuff we get to bring to our friends and loading the trailer with all the donations that are beginning to make our garage look like a mini thrift store. We parked the trailer at around 3:30 this afternoon in its parking spot on the side of our garage. The day just happens. The dash is just that. A dash in time. I cannot believe how blessed my family is. What a deal! What a day! What a dash I'm living!

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

..."it matters to that one"... :)