Clyde

Clyde, Kansas.  Population ~900.  Today, approximately 20 or so residents of Clyde ventured north and west to the sprawling metropolis known as Omaha.  The Big O.  Ok, not many people know Omaha as the Big O.  But Omaha does think it’s a sprawling metropolis.  It’s really not.  We may have a tad more than 900 people, but sometimes I think I’d opt for the town of 900.    The thing is, today this group from Clyde was part of one body.  Joined together with folks from various churches, ministries and us.  Here in downtown Omaha.  The youth group from St. John’s Catholic Church in Clyde came and conquered.  Bags and boxes of stuff.  A 3 or 4 hour drive.  Smiles.  Love.  They came in abundance.  And it was a rockin’ good Sunday.  God once again delivered.  As He always does.  And we were able to celebrate that with this group of kids and some others from this awesome Kansas town.  I actually think it’s just over 3 hours from Clyde to Omaha.  There’s a definite connection between Clyde and Omaha.  It maybe didn’t exist a few short years ago.  But then we met a fellow named Wade.  I’ve blogged about him a couple times.  He left us way too early.  Met him down on that corner a few years ago.  Through that meeting and his passing, we met his family.  I’ve blogged about them also.  Great family.  Just great people.  They’ve been instrumental in helping us in various ways over the past couple of years.  The way our meeting came about is not something I’d dwell on.  It was tough.  But as He does, God can and will use any situation for His glory.  And He did that here.  I’m convinced of it.  No doubt in my mind. And today he brought a group to us that was a huge blessing to so many in this downtown community that we’ve grown to love over the years.  Amazing.

I met a fellow today and for once, I was stumped.  I saw him making his way down the sidewalk.  His name was Keith.  An older, African American fellow.  Tall and slim.  Graying around the edges.  And a definite anger about him.  I have no idea what his situation was.  But he’s on my mind.  Usually, when we come across folks on that corner that we’ve never met, even if there’s some sort of anger initially, it just seems like God has a way of working through that and things kind of settle down.  Not with Keith.  He asked a couple of times if he could talk to me. I told him absolutely, but I’d help him get something to eat and then we could talk.  Our entire conversation and interaction probably lasted all of 5, maybe 10 minutes.  He noticed the table with the bags of snacks and things from the Kansas folks.  He was sure it was a sack lunch.  I assured him it wasn’t and we actually had a hot meal for him.  He made sure to grab a bag as he passed the table.  It was almost like he didn’t believe that we had a bowl of chili for him.  I managed to get him to the table where the chili was being served.  He was very demanding and not real appreciative of the fact that we were there.  It was just weird.  After he got his chili, we had a few minutes to talk.  Now one of the “habits” I have when I talk to people is I tend to kind of put my hand on shoulders and backs.  I don’t know why I do it and most times I don’t even realize I do it.  I suppose it’s calming or something.  At least in my mind.  Well it wasn’t calming in Keith’s mind.  After we got his food and were standing away from the serving area, he was mowing through that bowl of chili like he hadn’t eaten in days.  I guess it’s entirely possible that he hadn’t.  Tough for me to imagine that in this town, but anything’s possible I guess.  I’m pretty sure I still have chili and bread chunks on my jacket from Keith.  So as he’s finishing off his lunch, the inevitable question comes up.  Especially from a guy I’ve never met.  “Do you have 3 dollars?”  3 dollars?  I calmly let him know that we don’t do cash.  Food?  Sure.  Clothing?  Whatever we have is yours.  A bar of soap and a little shampoo?  Absolutely.  But cash?  We just don’t have it.  That’s where things went a little south for me and Keith.  As I reached up to place my hand on his shoulder to assure him I’d certainly help him if I could, for whatever reason, he very angrily asked me to stop touching him.  I mean he was mad.  What was a fairly calm conversation just moments earlier, took a pretty weird turn.  He was angry and let me know it.  I imagine if I’d given him the 3 dollars, things would have been ok.  But I didn’t and they weren’t.  Like I said, I’d never seen this fellow before.  And I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.  I watched him walk away through the crowd mumbling and looking back over his shoulder and his words to me were not so kind.  Honestly, I’m not sure what I’d done.  I guess it was probably more what I didn’t do.  He was angry that he was living at the shelter and no one was helping him.  He had no income and he just wanted a few bucks.  I saw him as we were leaving.  He was on the steps of the library across from where we hang out on these Sundays.  Again, his words were not nice.  At all.  Just a strange encounter…I guess it just was what it was.  I wish I had a do-over with him.  Maybe some other time.

But there were so many more great moments and there always are.  One fellow made a point of coming over and thanking us.  We get that so much.  And I try so hard to deflect that stuff.  It’s so important to me that we all realize that it’s God we should be thanking.  I’ve been humbled so much lately with personal stuff that’s going on in my own life that I realize that I’m absolutely no different than any person we see on that corner.  Or anywhere else.  I’ve always known it.  I’m just really getting it more lately.  God has so incredibly blessed me beyond anything I deserve and I just keep falling on my face.  And every time I do, He’s there to pick me up.  And I try so hard to convey that to our friends.  He loves us so much it’s impossible for me to comprehend.  And His grace and mercy are even more difficult for me to grasp.  And I know that God can use me no matter how many stupid mistakes I make along the way.  It doesn’t give me license to continue my stupidity, but it does give me hope.  I’ve had so many conversations with certain friends from downtown along these same lines and I think every once in a while God backhands me so that I remember it for myself.  I’m just convinced that we’re supposed to be on that corner for the long haul.  In some manner.  Be it once a month or whatever.  Maybe when we first started hanging out down there, I thought we were serving them.  As the years pass before us, I realize more and more that’s probably not actually the case at all.  I don’t know how it all ends up of course, but there’s one thing I want to be sure of in the end.  “Someday I’ll pass through the great sky above – And the first thing I’ll ask is how well did I love?”  (That line courtesy of Brandon Heath).  And I pray that I get an answer and that it’s befitting a God who first loved us.

So Clyde came and represented today.  Keith came and I somehow failed him.  That happens.  The enemy gets in the way lots of times.  But more often than not, love flows on that corner.  In so many ways.  Be it through a meal prepared with love.  Or a nice, hot cup of some of the best coffee in town courtesy of our great friends at Harvest Roasting/Scooters.  Or a simple conversation.  Whatever it is, it’s just all about how can we let these guys know we care.  And we love ‘em.  And more importantly, God loves them.  SO much.  Thanks to all the folks who served today.  Thanks St. John’s Catholic Youth Organization and their sponsors.  Thanks Southridge Church.  Thanks Eagle Heights.  Thanks to every church, organization or individual that showed up today.  Thanks to all the folks who show up almost every time we show up.  Thanks for not judging, but for loving in ways that are so impactful.  Truth be told, if there was more of that in this crazy world, maybe guys like Keith would be a little less angry.  I’d bet on it.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"  And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"  ~Isaiah 6:8

Make a difference…it matters.

I Feel Like A New Man!

First things first. Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. I mean really cold. I notice it more these days. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that my age is starting to kind of get away from me? I’ll be 48 this year. I don’t know when or how that happened. 48?! I seriously don’t feel that old. At least not all the time. I feel like I’m in pretty good health. I try to exercise pretty regularly, but I don’t eat all that well. I’m working on that. In fact we just finished a 21 day fast. Mostly veggies, fruit, stuff like that. So it was pretty fitting that today, the final day of the fast, we go downtown to hang out with our friends in some balmy, January Nebraska weather. Did I mention it was cold? I was kind of getting to a point a second ago, but got a little off track. I was simply going to mention how weird it is that when I get out in this goofy weather, it feels like my fingers might actually fall off. I don’t know for sure when that started being an issue for me. I guess in single digit temperatures, that just happens. Just seems like my circulation ain’t what it used to be. I wonder how some of our friends deal with being out in this stuff all the time? I mean, wouldn’t Florida, California, or some other warm weather destination be more of the way to go? Just wondering…

So when we first pulled up to our corner today, it looked like there might be 20 or 30 people there. I was thinking that was probably a good thing. I’m not sure I’d venture out in this stuff if I didn’t have to. But in a matter of minutes, I look down the sidewalk and our tables are set up, the line is forming down the other sidewalk and there are suddenly a lot of people. I don’t know if that speaks to the needs that are being met, the desire of folks to simply come and hang out or just what the deal was. But man, it was cold down there today and I was actually a little shocked at how long our line was. We had a great meal, lots of winter clothing and tons of other stuff. But it has to be more than that. I’m not kidding, it was fairly ugly. In times past, Sundays like this may have drawn 30 or 40 people. Just seemed like there were more today.

It’s funny too how we always seem to have almost just enough of certain things, just when we need them. Even if I fail to bring some of those certain things. I mean, I try to remember everything, but that must be another symptom of this age thing. I don’t know, but as I was glad handing my way through the line of folks today, I noticed lots of guys that didn’t have gloves, hats, etc. I have no idea how you manage your way through a Nebraska winter without a decent pair of gloves. Or maybe they simply aren’t a priority to some. They certainly are to me. I must have handed out 50 pairs of gloves today. At least. It was blowing my mind. Every time I’d turn around, another person would be asking for a pair of gloves! Crazy.

I met a fellow today for the first time. He met me at the side of our van. I was getting someone else a pair of gloves and he needed a pair. Imagine that? And he saw a coat in the back of the van. He was wearing a coat and also had a hoody. If I were to guess, I’d say he was probably in his 50s. Said his name was Mo. From Puerto Rico. I’m guessing Mo didn’t experience many days like this in Puerto Rico. Just a hunch. So he saw the coat in the van and asked in his broken English if it was for anyone? Any way he could have it? As I said, he had a jacket and a hoody. Looked ok to me. So I shut the van door and told him it was already spoken for. And it was. But whomever asked earlier was nowhere to be found. Funny, that. But that’s where the breakdown occurred and does occur for me sometimes. Far too often, I’ve thought I knew what people needed. If a guy has a coat, does he need another? If a guy has a pair of boots on, does he need another pair? If a guy has gloves, does he need new ones? I usually try my best to be discerning. I probably fail more often that I get it right. I sometimes don’t notice that the boots a guys is wearing, even though they look ok on the surface, might just have a sole that’s hanging on by threads. Or the coat that doesn’t actually zip up. Pretty ineffective in this climate. Not good. Just like sometimes we look like we have it all together on the outside, and yet internally, we are a freakin’ mess. Busted, broken, all sorts of messed up. That pretty much sums me up most times. So when I see these guys in need and we have what the guys need, it’s pretty much a no brainer. However, meeting the need is only half the battle. We have to meet it with love. And it probably needs to be unconditional. And maybe a little less judgmental. Have to be good stewards, but that coat does no one any good in my garage. Those boots keep no one’s feet warm on a shelf in my garage. Same with the gloves. Now there are the usual suspects that try to hustle a little once in a while and I usually know who those guys are. But you can’t hide bare hands in the middle winter in Omaha.

So Mo needed that coat. And maybe a word of encouragement. And maybe he needed to know that God was with us all today. He couldn’t believe his “luck”. I assured him it wasn’t luck. It was provision. By a God who loves him dearly. I think he already knew that. It never hurts to hear it. And it absolutely never hurts to see tangible signs. As we stood right there in the street, I helped him into his new coat, helped him get it zipped up and his words spoke volumes. “I feel like a new man”, he said. And there was pure joy on his face. All because of a new coat! I told him he looked great! You see, some may brush an encounter like this off as coincidence. Not me. Seen it too many times. And I’ve definitely made choices over the course of time where I’ve taken matters into my own hands and gotten ahead of where God was probably leading us. Definitely. Done some crazy things. But these days, I’m really trying my best to stay out of the way and simply let Him lead. And today, He led Mo to our corner. And the look in Mo’s eyes was priceless. Mo showed up. God showed up. A need was presented…and met. And Mo left, I hope, knowing God did a little business on that corner today. It was pretty cool. And very cold. But the two met and it was good…

He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done. ~ Proverbs 19:17

Make a difference…it matters.

Gotta go - Gotta do something...

Sunday, December 26, 2010. Omaha weather - Pretty doggone cold! The temperature on a downtown Omaha street corner? Cold but pretty doggone bearable. It seems that our friends in Charlotte NC, Atlanta GA, Anniston AL, and various other locales in the Southeast received more snow than dear, old Omaha. And that's ok. But I digress. So you see, it seems that whenever we end up on that corner, things are just good. And this day, things were especially good. Southridge Church came and killed it! As part of a thing called winter Servolution, they came with abundant amounts of food for all. And this after a month long winter coat and clothing drive. And Eagle Heights was back to help as well. And a very fine representative from St. Rose. And there were others. My feeble memory fails me so often that I hesitate to mention who came. But those who come time after time, just know that when you come, He knows. That should be all that matters. So on this day, the day after Christmas, He showed up and we showed up and it was good. I say that knowing that many of our friends, even though they were forced to deal with the elements in December in downtown Omaha, came and left with the blessings and provisions granted by our God. It never ceases to amaze me that people profusely thank us for showing up. And we only do it once a month these days. But they are so thankful. And I say it time and again. All we have to do is show up. And when we do, amazing things happen. Like our friends from Beaver City, Nebraska showing up with bags of gloves, socks, hand warmers, etc. Amazing. They drove for 3.5 or 4 hours to get here and deliver gift bags to our friends for Christmas. Amazing. And Life Church showed up with enough coats to clothe a small army. Just amazing how God knits it all together.

So here's one example of great things that happen when we step out of our normal comfort zones. Now this may seem like a small thing, but I'd venture to say otherwise. I'll probably screw up some of the details of this, but the big picture remains. One person who showed up from Southridge happened to bring an extra coat. One person who showed up to take part in the meal and other activities needed a coat. Showed up on that corner without a coat. In that weather. In Omaha. In DECEMBER!! I have no idea why she had no coat. And I'm not really sure it matters so much, other than the fact that God was working in the details. You see, if we just show up, He will also. He'll handle the details. He cares about the details. He'll blow the details out of the water. Even if the water is frozen! As it's apt to be here in these Midwestern winters. I've seen it too many times. Someone will show up on that corner with a need. And no matter how big or small that need may be, He meets it. It has nothing to do with us. Other than the fact that he uses us sometimes to facilitate. But he can't use us if we don't go. We have to go. Have to show up. Have to do something...somewhere.

And it always is surprising to me to see just who might show up on any given Sunday. We get groups from various local churches. And of course the fine folks from Beaver City. We get people who show up once, never to be heard from again. We get individuals who've been helping almost from day one. Those who have hung in there with us through all of our craziness. Our great friends who allow us to show up when we do and those who trust us to come when we say we will. I had someone mention to me as we were unloading that she knew we'd be there. And she was having a conversation with another fellow who might have had some doubts about whether or not we'd show up. She made a statement similar to the following upon our arrival - "See I told you they'd be here...their word is gold". Too much credit. Honestly, we try to do what we say we'll do. For all the days that we've shown up on that corner, one thing I've always prayed for is the ability to remain consistent. Even in my own busted and broken ways, I've found that the one thing that has to be prominent is consistency. If we say we're going to do something, we'd darned well better do it. We've come up short on a few occasions, but I don't think we've ever missed a Sunday when we said we'd be there. That's simply a testament to the amazing Grace of God. The mere fact that He allows us to show up? Unbelievable. Because, again, when we do, amazing things happen. And we meet some of the most amazing people. I overheard one fellow say something to Robin that was very cool. I don't know what his deal was. Don't know if he was homeless, living in a local shelter, or what. I just know he was there. And it was as things were winding down. She asked him if he'd gotten anything to eat. He hadn't. She expressed her concern and sorrow that he wasn't able to get anything to eat. His response? He simply said it was ok. He just came for the smiles. Very cool.

And finally, one last thing. I met a young fellow on this Sunday that got me thinking. 22 years old. Heroin addict for 6 years. I'm not great at math, but that would mean he started using at the age of 16. Heroin at 16? Seriously? My oldest son is 16. I cannot imagine. But I know how this happens. I did some things when I was 12 that would make people wonder. So this guy using at 16? It happens. He said he had no family. Was living in the shelter. He'd been on methadone for a month. For anyone not familiar with methadone, it's a synthetic drug used to wean addicts off of heroin. So he'd been on it for a month. His words were very slow. His mannerisms were somewhat drawn out. He needed a ride back to the shelter. He'd gathered several bags of clothing from our containers and was real happy to have been "fortunate enough to have decided to make that walk" on this particular day. Fortunate? Lucky? Not in my book. That's a blessing my man. And the only reason is because a bunch of crazy people showed up. I had about 5 minutes in the van with this guy to try to explain that this wasn't luck. It was purely God's providence. Look, I have no idea how this all works. All I know is that when people hear a voice telling them to go and do something, they might want to listen. I'd have never had the opportunity to share my faith with this fellow if not for being there in the first place. And I'm not foolish enough to think that just because of a 5 minute van ride with me (of all people) that anything I did will become some sort of Hallelujah moment for this guy. But I do know that he heard some things during the course of that short ride that he probably wouldn't have otherwise heard on this particular day. I was able to briefly share with him some of my past and he did the same. And I was able to tell him how much God loves him. And he heard. All because we were there. But you have to go. Have to. Otherwise, it's just good intentions. I just believe there's more to this whole thing. There are entirely too many people out there who are hurting and may never darken the doors of a church. But if the church comes to them? Well, Who knows what may happen?

Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God's, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors. ~Deuteronomy 15:10-11 (The Message)

Make a difference…it matters.

Where Have Your Feet Been?

Today was a pretty windy and blustery November day in downtown Omaha. Actually, real windy. But what a blessing to be there. With a trailer absolutely jammed and crammed with clothing, coats, winter gear and anything else I could get in the thing. We had so much to take this time I had to take all the seats out of the van and use that space also. Amazing. And it was well received. I mostly take for granted the simple fact that God allows us to go. That he lets us do this thing. And then someone who’s never been to help comes up to me and says what a blessing it is. And there’s just something different about it. Different to me at least, in the sense that all are welcome. We have no walls. No doors. No barriers of any type. If a person can walk, crawl, roll or whatever, they can come and partake. I don’t think we’ve ever had to tell someone to leave. Or that they weren’t welcome in the first place. That corner just takes on a different life for about 2 or 3 hours each time God blesses us with His presence there. It’s almost like He prepares the way. :) Funny that. Kind of like His feet go before us?

For the past couple of days, I was able to spend a lot of time in the garage sorting, packing and cleaning. Sorting all the very generous donations we’ve been blessed with over the past few weeks. Packing all the summer clothing away in the shed. Cleaning up after the fact. It was a lot of work, but it was good work. We delivered several dorm type refrigerators that were donated. We had bags of stuff that had accumulated over the past few weeks. There was so much stuff, we couldn’t get our cars in the garage. Well, truth be told, one of the cars fit. Sort of. But there was a lot of stuff. So my mission over the Thanksgiving holidays was to get that stuff organized. And it was so amazing to see all the provisions for our friends. Coats. Hats. Gloves. Winter clothing. Socks. The list goes on. Also, there were boots. Lots of military boots. We have a friend who is a doctor at Offutt Air Force Base in Bellevue. A few miles down the road from our house. She collected lots of boots last year for us. Today I was finally able to share some of those boots with our friends. We’ve helped guys get boots in the past. To the point of over spending and getting into trouble. And they weren’t even the best boots we could purchase. But they were the best we could do at the time. The boots we were able to distribute today were of great quality. Military style. And boots that will hopefully get these guys through the winter. It seems like such a simple thing, but for a guy who is on his feet for the better part of a day, a good pair of boots in the winter, especially a Nebraska winter, is a good thing. If some of our troops who’ve donated only knew the good they’d done by simply donating a pair of used boots…well, I’m pretty sure they’d approve. Makes me wonder where those boots have been and where they’re going.

One of the things I always pray before we head down is that God will allow us to somehow be His hands and feet. That He would indeed go before us and prepare the way so that we, with all of our warts, scars, busted emotions and all the other baggage we own, can indeed somehow be the hands and feet of the One Who sends us. I know that sounds so churchy, but it’s what it is for me. I really want to be used in such a way as to be so obvious that every single thing we do is to honor the God who sends us. That our feet will take us to places that please Him. That our hands will do things in those places that also please Him. And that our words in those places will simply be Him speaking through us. It gets so busy at times that it’s hard to imagine how He could possibly use us in any constructive way. But I’m convinced He does. All it takes for me is for one person to get it and I know He’s done it. One person. A simple comment by someone that lets me know they get why we’re there. And there are tons of those comments.

I’ve wondered lately what this looks like years from now. Are we making any kind of difference for His purpose? Do all the meals and clothing and stuff mask what we are really doing? Are we helping of hurting? Someone recently suggested we read a book entitled “When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and Yourself”. I’m strongly considering this book. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll pick it up. One of the things that struck me in the book review was the following statement - Helping the needy will never become neat, clean and orderly. Look, I get that. Again, I’m such a novice when it comes to this stuff. I’ve gotten myself into so much trouble over the years trying to figure this out. Stupid financial decisions. Screwed up relationships. Just too many mistakes to mention. And not just little mistakes. They seem to follow me around just waiting to pounce. And the idea of helping so much it hurts the very people we are trying to help? Well, that definitely has me thinking. But keeping a guy warm in a Nebraska winter? Getting a guy a hot meal on a cold winter day? Those are just things we should be doing. The very Guy we follow said it Himself – There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land. ~ Deuteronomy 15:11

So where have our feet been lately? Probably not nearly in as many of the places that they need to be or should have been. How to balance it all? No idea. I know we’ve been involved in some pretty crazy God stuff lately. Raising money to help build wells in Africa. Adopting families for Christmas. Hanging out with our friends on Monday nights and some Sundays. Great life group gatherings. All things I’m so grateful for and so thankful for. As I reflect back on what this “holiday” weekend is supposed to be all about, I’m indeed thankful for all the things God has placed in front of me. And nervous at times about the things I’m hearing. Wondering where our feet will lead us. But as my buddy Chris Tomlin says –

Where you go, I'll go Where you stay, I'll stay When you move, I'll move I will follow you

Who you love, I'll love How you serve I'll serve If this life I lose, I will follow you I will follow you

Yeah, I’ll follow. Most definitely. With these feet that you’ve blessed me with.

One last thing that’s been on my mind lately. A friend was killed recently. The details are pretty vivid. He was an older fellow we knew from our times in the park and from our Monday meals. He was an eccentric fellow who seemed to have a bit of an obsessive compulsive thing going on. But he was a good guy. You didn’t have to look too deep to see the good in Robert. Always with a quick “you’re alright Dave”. Always repetitive in his mannerisms. Very quick to think someone was “messing with him”. But just under the surface was a fellow who I believe simply wanted to be loved. And he was killed for reasons I’ll never understand. I really felt that after weeks or even months of trying to figure each other out, Robert and I were making headway. I saw him on a Monday night a couple weeks ago. He rarely ever missed our Monday gatherings. We made arrangements for me to come to his place the following Wednesday to hook up a stereo. I’m pretty sure he could have done it himself. But we made arrangements. He must have asked me 20 times that night if I knew “how to hook the little red wire up to the red hole and the little black wire up to the black hole”. I assured him we could figure it out. Turns out we’d never get the chance. We received a phone call on Tuesday night that someone had been killed in Robert’s building that afternoon and there was a good chance that it was him. It was. I was shocked. Not only because of the violent nature with which he was killed, but that he was gone. Just like that. Gone. And Robert and I had talked about his heart many times. About his relationship with God. But I cannot say that I knew for sure where he was in that regard. I pray that he was square. Because it can happen just like that. I only wish that my feet had made it to his apartment on that Wednesday. That I’d been able to step in and talk to him once more about his eternal choices. Instead of meeting to hook up his stereo on that Wednesday, I attended a vigil behind the building. Only feet away from the very steps in which he died. In fact the steps were still stained. I’ve let myself go to that place a few times since it happened. The last few moments. It absolutely must have been terrifying for him. And every time I start to ask why? I’m reminded of the broken world we live in. Where something like this can happen. Man…

Sorry for rambling here. It’s been a couple months since I last sat down and compiled my thoughts. I just pray that my feet take me to places that Jesus himself would venture into. That’s where I want to go and I pray that I have a brave enough heart to do it. And I simply pray that no matter what stupid decisions I make, that I’m allowed to continue to serve a merciful and loving God. A God that is so full of Grace that it’s beyond my comprehension. I cannot imagine. I pray that he leads me to places that continue to rock my world and I never take for granted the amazing things He’ll show me if I’m simply willing to go.

Make a difference…it matters.

Where Have Your Feet Been?

Today was a pretty windy and blustery November day in downtown Omaha. Actually, real windy. But what a blessing to be there. With a trailer absolutely jammed and crammed with clothing, coats, winter gear and anything else I could get in the thing. We had so much to take this time I had to take all the seats out of the van and use that space also. Amazing. And it was well received. I mostly take for granted the simple fact that God allows us to go. That he lets us do this thing. And then someone who’s never been to help comes up to me and says what a blessing it is. And there’s just something different about it. Different to me at least, in the sense that all are welcome. We have no walls. No doors. No barriers of any type. If a person can walk, crawl, roll or whatever, they can come and partake. I don’t think we’ve ever had to tell someone to leave. Or that they weren’t welcome in the first place. That corner just takes on a different life for about 2 or 3 hours each time God blesses us with His presence there. It’s almost like He prepares the way. :) Funny that. Kind of like His feet go before us?

For the past couple of days, I was able to spend a lot of time in the garage sorting, packing and cleaning. Sorting all the very generous donations we’ve been blessed with over the past few weeks. Packing all the summer clothing away in the shed. Cleaning up after the fact. It was a lot of work, but it was good work. We delivered several dorm type refrigerators that were donated. We had bags of stuff that had accumulated over the past few weeks. There was so much stuff, we couldn’t get our cars in the garage. Well, truth be told, one of the cars fit. Sort of. But there was a lot of stuff. So my mission over the Thanksgiving holidays was to get that stuff organized. And it was so amazing to see all the provisions for our friends. Coats. Hats. Gloves. Winter clothing. Socks. The list goes on. Also, there were boots. Lots of military boots. We have a friend who is a doctor at Offutt Air Force Base in Bellevue. A few miles down the road from our house. She collected lots of boots last year for us. Today I was finally able to share some of those boots with our friends. We’ve helped guys get boots in the past. To the point of over spending and getting into trouble. And they weren’t even the best boots we could purchase. But they were the best we could do at the time. The boots we were able to distribute today were of great quality. Military style. And boots that will hopefully get these guys through the winter. It seems like such a simple thing, but for a guy who is on his feet for the better part of a day, a good pair of boots in the winter, especially a Nebraska winter, is a good thing. If some of our troops who’ve donated only knew the good they’d done by simply donating a pair of used boots…well, I’m pretty sure they’d approve. Makes me wonder where those boots have been and where they’re going.

One of the things I always pray before we head down is that God will allow us to somehow be His hands and feet. That He would indeed go before us and prepare the way so that we, with all of our warts, scars, busted emotions and all the other baggage we own, can indeed somehow be the hands and feet of the One Who sends us. I know that sounds so churchy, but it’s what it is for me. I really want to be used in such a way as to be so obvious that every single thing we do is to honor the God who sends us. That our feet will take us to places that please Him. That our hands will do things in those places that also please Him. And that our words in those places will simply be Him speaking through us. It gets so busy at times that it’s hard to imagine how He could possibly use us in any constructive way. But I’m convinced He does. All it takes for me is for one person to get it and I know He’s done it. One person. A simple comment by someone that lets me know they get why we’re there. And there are tons of those comments.

I’ve wondered lately what this looks like years from now. Are we making any kind of difference for His purpose? Do all the meals and clothing and stuff mask what we are really doing? Are we helping of hurting? Someone recently suggested we read a book entitled “When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and Yourself”. I’m strongly considering this book. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll pick it up. One of the things that struck me in the book review was the following statement - Helping the needy will never become neat, clean and orderly. Look, I get that. Again, I’m such a novice when it comes to this stuff. I’ve gotten myself into so much trouble over the years trying to figure this out. Stupid financial decisions. Screwed up relationships. Just too many mistakes to mention. And not just little mistakes. They seem to follow me around just waiting to pounce. And the idea of helping so much it hurts the very people we are trying to help? Well, that definitely has me thinking. But keeping a guy warm in a Nebraska winter? Getting a guy a hot meal on a cold winter day? Those are just things we should be doing. The very Guy we follow said it Himself – There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land. ~ Deuteronomy 15:11

So where have our feet been lately? Probably not nearly in as many of the places that they need to be or should have been. How to balance it all? No idea. I know we’ve been involved in some pretty crazy God stuff lately. Raising money to help build wells in Africa. Adopting families for Christmas. Hanging out with our friends on Monday nights and some Sundays. Great life group gatherings. All things I’m so grateful for and so thankful for. As I reflect back on what this “holiday” weekend is supposed to be all about, I’m indeed thankful for all the things God has placed in front of me. And nervous at times about the things I’m hearing. Wondering where our feet will lead us. But as my buddy Chris Tomlin says –

Where you go, I'll go Where you stay, I'll stay When you move, I'll move I will follow you

Who you love, I'll love How you serve I'll serve If this life I lose, I will follow you I will follow you

Yeah, I’ll follow. Most definitely. With these feet that you’ve blessed me with.

One last thing that’s been on my mind lately. A friend was killed recently. The details are pretty vivid. He was an older fellow we knew from our times in the park and from our Monday meals. He was an eccentric fellow who seemed to have a bit of an obsessive compulsive thing going on. But he was a good guy. You didn’t have to look too deep to see the good in Robert. Always with a quick “you’re alright Dave”. Always repetitive in his mannerisms. Very quick to think someone was “messing with him”. But just under the surface was a fellow who I believe simply wanted to be loved. And he was killed for reasons I’ll never understand. I really felt that after weeks or even months of trying to figure each other out, Robert and I were making headway. I saw him on a Monday night a couple weeks ago. He rarely ever missed our Monday gatherings. We made arrangements for me to come to his place the following Wednesday to hook up a stereo. I’m pretty sure he could have done it himself. But we made arrangements. He must have asked me 20 times that night if I knew “how to hook the little red wire up to the red hole and the little black wire up to the black hole”. I assured him we could figure it out. Turns out we’d never get the chance. We received a phone call on Tuesday night that someone had been killed in Robert’s building that afternoon and there was a good chance that it was him. It was. I was shocked. Not only because of the violent nature with which he was killed, but that he was gone. Just like that. Gone. And Robert and I had talked about his heart many times. About his relationship with God. But I cannot say that I knew for sure where he was in that regard. I pray that he was square. Because it can happen just like that. I only wish that my feet had made it to his apartment on that Wednesday. That I’d been able to step in and talk to him once more about his eternal choices. Instead of meeting to hook up his stereo on that Wednesday, I attended a vigil behind the building. Only feet away from the very steps in which he died. In fact the steps were still stained. I’ve let myself go to that place a few times since it happened. The last few moments. It absolutely must have been terrifying for him. And every time I start to ask why? I’m reminded of the broken world we live in. Where something like this can happen. Man…

Sorry for rambling here. It’s been a couple months since I last sat down and compiled my thoughts. I just pray that my feet take me to places that Jesus himself would venture into. That’s where I want to go and I pray that I have a brave enough heart to do it. And I simply pray that no matter what stupid decisions I make, that I’m allowed to continue to serve a merciful and loving God. A God that is so full of Grace that it’s beyond my comprehension. I cannot imagine. I pray that he leads me to places that continue to rock my world and I never take for granted the amazing things He’ll show me if I’m simply willing to go.

Make a difference…it matters.

Where The Action Is…

Today was so amazing, I almost have to wonder when the bad stuff is going to hit! You know, the crazy, freeze your snot right inside your nostril stuff. The stuff that makes you ache so bad for warmth that you might be willing to do all sorts of bizarre stuff just to get a little heat. But today? Not so much. If there ever was a chamber of commerce day, this was it. Beautiful blue skies. Barely a hint of a breeze. Good spirits all around. And the presence of our God on our corner. It was one of the best days I’ve seen down there and there were a number of reasons. First of all, there was a group from Southridge that came and rocked the place today. God was working in so many ways. It was amazing. I so wish I could crawl up in one of the taller buildings sometime and just watch the activity. Watch God work through the various folks that come to help out. And to watch Him work through the hearts of the people coming to hang out with us on those Sundays that we show up. It’s so easy to take for granted what He does on that corner. Sometimes it gets so busy, it’s hard to make time for the one on one conversations. Hard to just sit and listen on the occasion that someone just needs an ear. And frankly, all the food and clothing and stuff are great and needed. But the ear or shoulder are even more important. There are so many broken hearts. Broken minds. Broken souls. It’s such a great opportunity to show up and just hang out and if the moment arises where someone needs to just talk for a bit, well it’s nice to be there to listen.

Like I said, a great group came again today from Southridge. It is so cool to see these guys embrace this thing. It’s such a great place for people to go to get out and serve an Awesome God. He alone deserves our best. And today, I pray He got it. At least the best that we could pull it off. He set the table, so to speak. Laid it all out for us. All we had to do was show up. And our friends from Southridge showed up today. Rocked it. We’ve been going to Southridge as a family for about 7 or 8 months now. Anyone who knows what it is like to go to a new church knows that it takes time to form and cultivate relationships in that setting. Takes time to get plugged in. Just like in most things in life. It just takes time and patience. And then all of a sudden you begin to see the fruits of the relationship. It’s just so cool to see God at work in all we do. Part of the message this morning at church centered around the idea that you cannot be a champion while living in a cave. That is so true and so stinking relevant to some of my crazy ideas these days. It was all about Elijah and his basic spiritual collapse and his subsequent recovery. And the words God spoke to Elijah – “What are you doing in here Elijah?" In a cave. Come on man!! Get out there! I’ve got work for you. And I see so much of that in God’s basic desire to see us get out and do something. Anything that brings glory and honor to Him.

I was doing a little reading this morning. It just blows me away sometimes how God just lays something out for me that makes so much sense. Funny that. This morning I was reading Colossians, chapter 3. It was so fitting that He’d lay this out there for me this morning. Part of it was this:

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. ~ Colossians 3:1-2 (The Message)

Don’t shuffle along? Eyes to the ground? Really? Seriously. The thing for me is that there are so many chances for us to make a difference. A difference that might change someone’s life. And all because we listened to a whisper. A gentle nudge from God to go out and do something that would ultimately honor and glorify Him.

I watched my wife today at various times. She is so in her element on that corner. I think I’ve mentioned before how much her compassion scares me. I pray that she doesn’t pray for compassion. Thankfully, God knows she has it in spades. It’s not uncommon for us to hook up with certain individuals on that corner. And by that I mean, as humans we are naturally drawn to certain people. Just like in any other walk of life. In our workplaces. In our churches. We just do it without thinking most times. I do it all the time. I was talking to Robin about that very thing today on our way downtown. Certain people are just easier for me to talk to or visit with. It’s not always a conscious thing. It just kind of happens. And I wonder how God feels sometimes. When I say that I secretly hope a certain person might not show up on a given day because it makes things difficult. How would I feel if God treated me that way? I know how ridiculous that is, but what if He did? Really makes me reconsider how I treat people. Doesn’t mean I always adhere to it, but it certainly gives me reason to strive to do just that.

So I watched Robin today and in particular, I watched her visit with a certain gentleman. This is a fellow we’ve known for about 4 years now. Lives under a bridge in downtown Omaha. Very soft spoken, very deep voiced fellow that has certainly been dealt a few rough circumstances in his life. Abuse as a child. Not sure on the substance abuse side of things, but we know that is obviously an issue also. The thing is he’s pretty much been an agnostic all his life. Or at least that’s the impression he’s always given us. 4 years ago he met some crazy Christians, as I’m sure he’s apt to call us. I don’t for one minute think that any single thing we’ve done has made a huge impression on him one way or another. That might be the case. I don’t know. And I’m pretty sure that’s not why we do what we do. We do it because He loves us. Every singe one of us. And this fellow needs to know that. And if every single thing we’ve done over the years is simply to influence that in his mind somehow, then so be it. And I watched Robin convey that to him today. In several different conversations. On the back side of the big Gene Leahy mall sign. On the steps that serve as the entrance to the park. And I’d bet that in each case, God was working. Telling her not to shuffle along and not to hide in a stinking proverbial cave. But to be bold and to share with this fellow that God so loves him. So much. And that he doesn’t have to do this alone. Under a bridge in downtown Omaha.

So I’m done rambling. I just know that today was indeed an amazing day. And I pray that our friend somehow realizes that God does indeed love him. Hugely. More than any of us will ever know. Assuredly, more than we deserve. A huge thanks to all who showed up today. We are so thankful that God has moved in ways that have impacted each of us to do what we do. And that is to serve an amazing God who simply loves us. And to serve him, not while shuffling along with our eyes to the ground, but while looking up, alert and aware of what is going on around Christ. Where the action is. Amazing.

Make a difference…it matters.

Rockin’ our World

What an absolutely amazing day on a downtown corner today. Unbelievably unseasonal weather (always have to give the weather), tons of people on both sides of the tables and just a great day. Started the day off with a great service at our church. Ended the afternoon with a great service to the Lord. World rockin’ stuff. It seems so simple too. We sort some clothing into various containers, maybe gather some hygiene items, throw a great meal together, load it all up and head to a corner in downtown Omaha. Takes a little preparation, but after doing it for a few years now, it seems so easy. And yet I never want to lose sight of why we go and what it means. It’s such an amazing opportunity to rock a little for God. We see lots of the same people week after week, month after month and year after year. And as much as it pains me to see some of these same people in the same situations time after time, it’s a blessed opportunity to share. To do a little world rockin’. And believe me when I say world rockin’, I mean Him rocking my world. I sat in a church service this morning and listened to a message about what it is that God might have in store for each of us. And I always wonder if we are on the right track. If what we do day to day, week to week, month to month is what he had or has in mind for our family? Are we doing enough to serve our Maker and to bring him the honor He so richly deserves? I have no idea, but we’ll keep trying. That I know.

Had lots of great help today. Eagle Heights Church came. Southridge Church was represented mightily. It’s so cool to see the opportunity to serve so fully grasped by these folks! Amazing opportunity for people to put their faith into real action. There are so many people in need of so many things. And I’m talking about the people on the inside. People within the local church. There are so many opportunities to get out and serve in so many tangible ways. So many. And so few people take advantage of those real opportunities. I mean, I know it might mean giving up a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, but the payoff can be so huge, I can’t even count how many times I’ve missed out on great times like this because I’ve been too caught up in serving my own needs. How many wasted opportunities? I’m so thankful for every small chance to not look back at missed chances, but instead to be listening for and seeking new ones. This thing we do monthly is a chance for new encounters with old friends and new ones each time. And a chance to serve God in such a tangible way. Be it providing a great meal, a pair of shoes, a clean shirt, or whatever. More importantly, it’s a chance to serve a God who is so unbelievably forgiving and accepting of each and every one of us. No matter how broken and busted we may think we are, He can use us for something. I’ve struggled for months with things that make me sometimes think that I’m in no way worthy of some of the gifts I’ve received, yet He tells me otherwise. He can use us no matter where we are in life. He can use us to share a message of hope in the hopelessness, strength where there is weakness and love when we feel unloved. It doesn’t mean a person has to show up on a downtown street corner and serve meals and things to homeless and near homeless folks. What it does mean is that we should be doing something. Something to honor the undeserved grace that’s been offered to us. Just do something.

One thing I’d share from today is a story I heard from a young couple. We’ve known this young fellow for a few years now. He and his young wife lost a baby last week. I have no idea what that must feel like. Can’t even imagine. And I had no real words of wisdom. I’m just not that smart. Those are always tough situations for me. Because, mostly words are pretty useless in those times. Learned that a long time ago. Sometimes we just need to listen. And now they are faced with the reality of dealing with a baby that was born prematurely at 23 weeks and watching it die before their eyes. Now they must deal with what comes next. Funeral arrangements, grieving, dealing with the emotional baggage that surely comes with these types of things. He was almost speechless when we first began talking about it. As the conversation progressed, he opened up more. But I cannot imagine what he must be feeling. And if I understood them correctly, the doctor had a chance to call the NICU and have them intercede. But he chose not to. Was it because they had no insurance? No means to pay the bill, so to speak? Who knows? I pray that was not the case. I sincerely hope that nothing could have been done. And I felt that all I could offer was that maybe this was a time for this young fellow to seek God and seek His wisdom in this terribly painful time. I just can’t imagine…

Time to get ready for next month. I pray that God will continue to rock my world. Rock our world. It’s so amazing to show up there and see the faces of our friends. I don’t always remember everyone’s name. I try, but it’s hard. I think there were probably 150 people or so today. It’s difficult to keep track of everyone and all the issues that they are all facing. But it’s not hard to go. That’s the easy part. And every time I go, my world is rocked a little more. I pray that He’ll continue to use us. And that we never lose sight of the fact, and it is a fact, that we serve and amazing and awesome God. Till next month…and in the meantime, rock a little.

Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth. 3 John 1:5-8 (New International Version)

Make a difference…it matters.