So often I sit down here at my laptop and wonder what I can write about today. What significant thing happened on the corner today? Many times I’ve written about someone new that I met. Or some event that happened while we were on our corner. Or something that happened the previous week. This week I feel compelled to write about something that happened the previous week. Or more precisely something that didn’t happen. Meetings that were supposed to take place that never happened. I have a couple of guys that I meet with on fairly regular basis. Mostly just to listen or just chat. One on Wednesday and one on Thursday. So this past week, I show up at our normal Wednesday meeting place at our agreed upon time only to find myself all alone. It happens. No big deal really. We’ll just meet again next week. Nothing is written in stone, so no harm no foul right? But my Thursday meeting was a bit different. I’ve been trying to make this one happen for a while now. I can’t remember how long ago we made the initial arrangements. But I know it was well over a year ago. Probably closer to a year and a half. And I can seriously count on one hand how many times the meeting has actually taken place. Three times. In about a year and a half. Now I usually show up knowing that I’ll get an early out. My friend told me once to "pencil him in". He says that too many things can change between Sunday and Thursday. He’s right. So this past week on Thursday, I show up to the last place that we met. The last time we met was last summer. So it’s been a while. We made arrangements last Sunday to meet at our previous spot. I thought we were both on the same page. But we weren’t. Apparently. I showed up and found a whole lot of no one. And it really didn’t surprise me. I mean, like I said in a year and a half, we’ve met three times. 3. So to see no one there, it was pretty much par for the course. I waited around from about five minutes prior to our agreed upon time until about 5 minutes or so after. I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. By that definition, I must be insane.
So today, as I’m heading through the serving line, I see my Wednesday guy. He explains that he was at a doctor’s appointment. I totally understand. And he has no cell phone or means for calling me, so I explain to him that it was really no problem. Seriously. We could just meet up this week and pick up where we left off last time. No problem. Minutes later, I see my Thursday guy. "Where were you" he says? I thought he was kidding. I was there man! He says he was there 10 minutes early and waited for an hour. How could that be? I was there! Seriously. Come to find out, we were at different places. The three times we’ve met, each time we’ve met at a different place. So I went to our previous place. He went to the place previous to that. I was so bummed. I felt like I had completely let him down. He said t was ok and it was just a miscommunication, but I sensed it was more than that. And I felt and feel terrible. Sure it was just a simple lunch meeting, but this has been one that has been really difficult to make happen for some reason. He even said he was going to be there early this time to surprise me. I can only imagine the disappointment as he walked away.
Here’s the thing. So often, our friends are promised things from various people. One thing I’ve always tried to do from day one in this thing was keep my word. We’ve told them from day one we’d be there every Sunday at noon, the Lord willing. To date, God’s allowed that to happen. If someone has asked for help in some way and we’ve been able to help, I think we’ve pretty much always been there. We certainly make mistakes and it’s difficult sometimes to understand how to be discerning in certain situations. But for the most part, God has blessed us with a certain sense of dependability over the course of this thing. Its one thing I attempt to stress within myself. Sometimes my memory fails me. Which is why I always carry around a small pocket notebook. New page every week. New things to remember. So if I write it down, I usually do pretty good with the follow through. So my guess is that my Thursday friend was pretty disappointed that another day came with more disappointment. From one of his Christian friends. Robin and I both see this guy so wanting to break free from his addictions and his lifestyle. He thinks he has nothing to offer. I completely disagree. He has so much to offer. So much. And I feel as though I let him down this time. And I sincerely hope that he will "pencil me in" for this week. This is a guy that, if the Lord were so willing to help us help him, the last two and a half years would be a smashing success. Not that God hasn’t already done amazing things. But if this one guy were to be blessed by the Grace of God and be released from the chains that he bears…it would just be amazing. I can just sense how badly he wants out. And he doesn’t seem to know how to completely surrender and be free. It sounds so easy. It’s so difficult. Eight years of homelessness. Countless trips to detox. 11 months in treatment at one time to drink on the very day that he was released. How? What do we do? Keep our meeting times for one. That would be a start.
And then it comes to me that there are forces that don’t want this to happen. I was talking to someone today about the devil’s playground. That place where the evil one takes all of us from time to time. Where he gains a foothold and uses us to do his dirty work. Now I’m not sure how that all works, but I know that it happens. I have things I struggle with every single day. And I ask God why? Why God, do you allow him to have his way with me? Why?! And the clear answer, to me anyway, is that as long as I continue to sin, yes even those "little sins", well that evil force that feeds on those things will continue to use me as his playground. Now I have absolutely zero training in any of this stuff, except what I’ve seen and learned during the course of my lifetime. But that’s what it seems like to me. So I look at some of our friends downtown and I think, wow, this is no playground. This is like freaking Walt Disney World with the evil one and some of our friends. The devil’s roller coaster. And it is so painful to watch. Guys literally drinking themselves to death. I just don’t get it. And at the same time, I do.
So I have two meetings this week. I pray that they both happen. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity. Not one. Not in the playground. When I was a kid, I used to love to go to the playground. Now that I’m just an older kid, not so much. But for the sake of sanity, and for our friends, I’ll venture in. Have to. I just pray that I’m equipped for the rides.
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." -Albert Einstein
Peace, have a great and blessed week and make a difference.
…it matters to that one… :)
So today, as I’m heading through the serving line, I see my Wednesday guy. He explains that he was at a doctor’s appointment. I totally understand. And he has no cell phone or means for calling me, so I explain to him that it was really no problem. Seriously. We could just meet up this week and pick up where we left off last time. No problem. Minutes later, I see my Thursday guy. "Where were you" he says? I thought he was kidding. I was there man! He says he was there 10 minutes early and waited for an hour. How could that be? I was there! Seriously. Come to find out, we were at different places. The three times we’ve met, each time we’ve met at a different place. So I went to our previous place. He went to the place previous to that. I was so bummed. I felt like I had completely let him down. He said t was ok and it was just a miscommunication, but I sensed it was more than that. And I felt and feel terrible. Sure it was just a simple lunch meeting, but this has been one that has been really difficult to make happen for some reason. He even said he was going to be there early this time to surprise me. I can only imagine the disappointment as he walked away.
Here’s the thing. So often, our friends are promised things from various people. One thing I’ve always tried to do from day one in this thing was keep my word. We’ve told them from day one we’d be there every Sunday at noon, the Lord willing. To date, God’s allowed that to happen. If someone has asked for help in some way and we’ve been able to help, I think we’ve pretty much always been there. We certainly make mistakes and it’s difficult sometimes to understand how to be discerning in certain situations. But for the most part, God has blessed us with a certain sense of dependability over the course of this thing. Its one thing I attempt to stress within myself. Sometimes my memory fails me. Which is why I always carry around a small pocket notebook. New page every week. New things to remember. So if I write it down, I usually do pretty good with the follow through. So my guess is that my Thursday friend was pretty disappointed that another day came with more disappointment. From one of his Christian friends. Robin and I both see this guy so wanting to break free from his addictions and his lifestyle. He thinks he has nothing to offer. I completely disagree. He has so much to offer. So much. And I feel as though I let him down this time. And I sincerely hope that he will "pencil me in" for this week. This is a guy that, if the Lord were so willing to help us help him, the last two and a half years would be a smashing success. Not that God hasn’t already done amazing things. But if this one guy were to be blessed by the Grace of God and be released from the chains that he bears…it would just be amazing. I can just sense how badly he wants out. And he doesn’t seem to know how to completely surrender and be free. It sounds so easy. It’s so difficult. Eight years of homelessness. Countless trips to detox. 11 months in treatment at one time to drink on the very day that he was released. How? What do we do? Keep our meeting times for one. That would be a start.
And then it comes to me that there are forces that don’t want this to happen. I was talking to someone today about the devil’s playground. That place where the evil one takes all of us from time to time. Where he gains a foothold and uses us to do his dirty work. Now I’m not sure how that all works, but I know that it happens. I have things I struggle with every single day. And I ask God why? Why God, do you allow him to have his way with me? Why?! And the clear answer, to me anyway, is that as long as I continue to sin, yes even those "little sins", well that evil force that feeds on those things will continue to use me as his playground. Now I have absolutely zero training in any of this stuff, except what I’ve seen and learned during the course of my lifetime. But that’s what it seems like to me. So I look at some of our friends downtown and I think, wow, this is no playground. This is like freaking Walt Disney World with the evil one and some of our friends. The devil’s roller coaster. And it is so painful to watch. Guys literally drinking themselves to death. I just don’t get it. And at the same time, I do.
So I have two meetings this week. I pray that they both happen. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity. Not one. Not in the playground. When I was a kid, I used to love to go to the playground. Now that I’m just an older kid, not so much. But for the sake of sanity, and for our friends, I’ll venture in. Have to. I just pray that I’m equipped for the rides.
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." -Albert Einstein
Peace, have a great and blessed week and make a difference.
…it matters to that one… :)
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