Boundaries

Crazy windy day today. And the temps are starting to drop. It’s Nebraska. It’s October. It’s expected. Poor Robin absolutely is not ready for the change that is coming. And it’s coming. I can feel it in the air. And in the trailer. Starting to fill that crazy thing with coats every week. As many as I can get in there and still have room for everything else. Ever wonder what it would be like to not have a winter coat? In a place like this where winter can be really brutal? I’ve been blessed to not have to worry about such things pretty much. But some of our friends showed up today without a coat on. And it’s not even winter yet. Barely fall. And did I mention that it was pretty darn windy today? And cold? Poor Margie was trying to deal out the chili and I think as much was blowing on the front of her shirt as was getting in the bowls. Now obviously I’m exaggerating, because Margie is a trooper and is such a warrior in this thing, but the wind was winning the battle today.

I got a call yesterday that caused me a bit of stress. Self inflicted of course. The call had as much to do with boundaries and self imposed limitations as anything else. I’ve mentioned before how I sometimes struggle with doing the right thing in certain situations. Don’t we all? Well our friend Doug called yesterday around noon. I was of course watching my Cornhuskers struggle with the mighty Baylor Bears at the time, so my stress level was already a bit up there. That’s another story for another day. So anyway, Doug calls and he has a problem. First of all, Doug "lives" down on the river. In a tent. Now he’s attempting to build some kind of temporary shelter, but as it stands now and has for well over a year now, his "home" is a tent. On the river. He managed to make it through an entire winter last year and I have no idea how he did it. His sole source of heat last year was candles. Imagine living in a two or three man tent in this climate and your only source of heat is candles? I can’t imagine. So anyway, it seems as though there is a bit of a ruckus in his "neighborhood" Friday. Some fellow decided to attack Doug a couple of different times. He manages to get out of the area and find a different place to stay on Friday night. He is afraid to go back because of the threat he perceives to still be there. He comes right out and asks if he can stay at our house for a night. No beating around the bush with Doug. I stammer and try to figure out how I’m going to answer this one. I can come up with a hundred different reasons for not letting this thing go any farther. And they might all sound pretty lame. But the one thing that always stays at the forefront of my mind is the fact that I’m the provider for my family. I’ve been entrusted to provide for, take care of and do all those things that a husband/father is supposed to do. But biblically, I wrestle with the fact that we are supposed to open our homes to strangers. However, I have a wife and a beautiful daughter. Not to mention my boys. I simply cannot bring someone into my house and risk the potential problems? Or can I? Or should I? And at what point do we do something like that? Or do we at all? Do we do it after we’ve known a friend for a couple of months? A year? Two years? I obviously have no answers here.

Robin and I have had this conversation on various other occasions. Do we open our house to so and so and help them out? Do we let Joe the Homeless Plumber into our house and pray that it will be the right thing? We’ve not done that to date. We’ve probably had a couple of different occasions where this very opportunity might have arisen. But I’m always the one that puts the kibosh on it right away. Because there is a strong sense of protectionism within me that rises immediately and squelches any desire to help in this manner. I’m just not there yet. It’s as much a sense having boundaries as anything for me. I’m just not there. I sincerely hope that it is just that and not some other silly selfish reason.

Had another great conversation with my friend Magundat today. He is just an amazingly genuine fellow. And our conversation tied right into my issues from yesterday. And today. How far do we go in our quest to help? How much do we do? My guess is more than we are currently doing. As Magundat asked me today – What would Christ do? Why do people have to ask such hard questions? Especially when already know the answer. The easy answer.

So Doug didn’t stay at our house. And probably won’t anytime soon. He managed to hook up with another fellow that was once homeless and now has a weekly room. Probably better for all. But what kind of message did we send Doug? I have several things I want to sit down and talk about with Doug. Like how in the world he thinks he can make it through another winter on the river. Like how can we help him get out of this situation and into a place of his own. But most of all, to let him know that we really do care. I’m just not there yet. I’m trying. I’m working on it. Just not quite to that place in this crazy journey.

Romans 12:9-21 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)