Boundaries

Crazy windy day today. And the temps are starting to drop. It’s Nebraska. It’s October. It’s expected. Poor Robin absolutely is not ready for the change that is coming. And it’s coming. I can feel it in the air. And in the trailer. Starting to fill that crazy thing with coats every week. As many as I can get in there and still have room for everything else. Ever wonder what it would be like to not have a winter coat? In a place like this where winter can be really brutal? I’ve been blessed to not have to worry about such things pretty much. But some of our friends showed up today without a coat on. And it’s not even winter yet. Barely fall. And did I mention that it was pretty darn windy today? And cold? Poor Margie was trying to deal out the chili and I think as much was blowing on the front of her shirt as was getting in the bowls. Now obviously I’m exaggerating, because Margie is a trooper and is such a warrior in this thing, but the wind was winning the battle today.

I got a call yesterday that caused me a bit of stress. Self inflicted of course. The call had as much to do with boundaries and self imposed limitations as anything else. I’ve mentioned before how I sometimes struggle with doing the right thing in certain situations. Don’t we all? Well our friend Doug called yesterday around noon. I was of course watching my Cornhuskers struggle with the mighty Baylor Bears at the time, so my stress level was already a bit up there. That’s another story for another day. So anyway, Doug calls and he has a problem. First of all, Doug "lives" down on the river. In a tent. Now he’s attempting to build some kind of temporary shelter, but as it stands now and has for well over a year now, his "home" is a tent. On the river. He managed to make it through an entire winter last year and I have no idea how he did it. His sole source of heat last year was candles. Imagine living in a two or three man tent in this climate and your only source of heat is candles? I can’t imagine. So anyway, it seems as though there is a bit of a ruckus in his "neighborhood" Friday. Some fellow decided to attack Doug a couple of different times. He manages to get out of the area and find a different place to stay on Friday night. He is afraid to go back because of the threat he perceives to still be there. He comes right out and asks if he can stay at our house for a night. No beating around the bush with Doug. I stammer and try to figure out how I’m going to answer this one. I can come up with a hundred different reasons for not letting this thing go any farther. And they might all sound pretty lame. But the one thing that always stays at the forefront of my mind is the fact that I’m the provider for my family. I’ve been entrusted to provide for, take care of and do all those things that a husband/father is supposed to do. But biblically, I wrestle with the fact that we are supposed to open our homes to strangers. However, I have a wife and a beautiful daughter. Not to mention my boys. I simply cannot bring someone into my house and risk the potential problems? Or can I? Or should I? And at what point do we do something like that? Or do we at all? Do we do it after we’ve known a friend for a couple of months? A year? Two years? I obviously have no answers here.

Robin and I have had this conversation on various other occasions. Do we open our house to so and so and help them out? Do we let Joe the Homeless Plumber into our house and pray that it will be the right thing? We’ve not done that to date. We’ve probably had a couple of different occasions where this very opportunity might have arisen. But I’m always the one that puts the kibosh on it right away. Because there is a strong sense of protectionism within me that rises immediately and squelches any desire to help in this manner. I’m just not there yet. It’s as much a sense having boundaries as anything for me. I’m just not there. I sincerely hope that it is just that and not some other silly selfish reason.

Had another great conversation with my friend Magundat today. He is just an amazingly genuine fellow. And our conversation tied right into my issues from yesterday. And today. How far do we go in our quest to help? How much do we do? My guess is more than we are currently doing. As Magundat asked me today – What would Christ do? Why do people have to ask such hard questions? Especially when already know the answer. The easy answer.

So Doug didn’t stay at our house. And probably won’t anytime soon. He managed to hook up with another fellow that was once homeless and now has a weekly room. Probably better for all. But what kind of message did we send Doug? I have several things I want to sit down and talk about with Doug. Like how in the world he thinks he can make it through another winter on the river. Like how can we help him get out of this situation and into a place of his own. But most of all, to let him know that we really do care. I’m just not there yet. I’m trying. I’m working on it. Just not quite to that place in this crazy journey.

Romans 12:9-21 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

An Amazing Incarnational Opportunity? (how's that for a title?)

So I didn’t write a blog last week. I was a little under the weather. Woke up last Saturday feeling a little rough and it carried over for several days. So last Sunday was my first sick day. Unpaid. The main thing I was concerned about was having something like strep throat and bringing it down and spreading it around to our friends. Last thing they need is to have a nasty case of something like that running rampant in the shelter. We like taking stuff down to help, but strep throat really isn’t something that we want to be so free with. But a pretty cool thing happened. We decided to take only the van and not the trailer. Robin has never pulled the trailer and it’s not like she couldn’t do it, but we decided to go light last Sunday so they wouldn’t have to pick up too much slack for my sick butt. I helped Christian get the van in order and get it ready to go. And he and Robin led the charge. As they were leaving to go, I was going to mention to Christian that maybe he could lead the prayer in my absence. But I didn’t want Robin to feel as though I was micromanaging and if I’m not there and she is, she normally leads. So I didn’t say anything. When they returned from the day’s activities, Robin told me something that made me even prouder yet to be Christian’s dad. He actually took it upon himself to stand in my place and lead the brief announcements and prayer. Robin said he did a great job. Of that I have no doubt. It’s amazing to see your kids do that sort of thing. Sometimes we just do our thing as parents and we hope our kids get it. We tell them some things over and over and over, hoping that it will sink in. Other times? We have to simply do those things that God leads us to do and hope that our kids get it. He does. And I could not have been more proud as a father to know that.

So here I sit early on Sunday morning trying to get my head in the game for the day. I have to catch a flight out of town this afternoon for work, so my goal is to get out of the downtown area maybe a little early today. Not too early though. Because we have some really cool things happening. Seems the youth group at St. Vincent DePaul Catholic Church is coming back again today. They are bringing all the desserts for the meal today. More importantly, they are bringing a heart for service. They’ve been down before, as a group. And several of the young ladies in the group have been down on their own. It’s been amazing for me to watch this thing over the couple of years that we’ve been at it. We’ve seen people from all denominations, people with no faith background, and many in between. But the nice thing is we’ve seen God continue to send people to help. They might come once. They might come every week. And he’s sent us some warriors who stick it out through all sorts of weather and whatever else. But the coolest thing is He keeps sending them. I’ll never forget when we first started going down there how I used to wonder where the people and the resources would come from. Now don’t get me wrong, I always knew Who was in charge and He’s proved it countless times to this thick headed individual. I was talking to a fellow the other day who s involved with Metro Marketplace Ministry in the downtown Omaha area. We were just talking about things and he reiterated something that I’ve learned over the last few years. We simply have to show up and try not to get in the way and let Him lead. It’s what He does. When I try to do things my way? I usually end up pulling myself out of a ditch wondering where I made the wrong turn. When I get out of the way and let God lead, amazing things happen. River of Life Church is coming back down today also. Great people. And I’d guess some of the great folks from Papio Creek Church will be there. They usually show up also. I think that is also one of the cooler things that has manifested itself here. I was talking to someone yesterday and we were talking about how people get involved. It’s pretty simple. All they have to do is show up. No bureaucracy, no real rules to speak of. Just have to come down. There are some obvious logistical concerns from time to time, like making sure we have enough meals, but that is the main concern. All the rest is fair game. Especially from a relational standpoint. Our friends usually outnumber us, so the more people we can get to come down who simply want to help build relationships the better. That is the biggest need as I see it.

Here’s another great thing that’s happened just in the last week. A few weeks ago, I think I wrote about a church that came down once a month and handed out sack lunches on Sundays. St. James Untied Methodist Church is the church responsible for doing this. They have a ministry called Break the Bread and they pack a few hundred lunches once a month and deliver them to various places. We got an email from the youth director at St. James recently and they want to partner with us once a month and provide the entire meal. That is amazing. I literally pray all the time that God will continue to send resources and man does He come through. Constantly. So beginning on November 1, they will be supplying a hot meal to our friends once a month. That is way cool.

I’m going to steal something from a pastor here in town. I read this recently and it struck me as so true. It’s from a fellow by the name of Kip Mickelson and I believe it was a part of a recent sermon. "There is a Chinese proverb which says: Go to the people, live with them, love them, learn from them, start with what they know and build on what they have. This is incarnational ministry. This is what Jesus did. He was the Word who became flesh. He came to dwell among us full of grace and truth. This is the model these missionaries follow. However, it is not just for missionaries, it is a model for all of us as we live our lives in our communities. We may not be called to cross the ocean, but we may be asked to cross the street. We become "the Word made flesh" as we reach out in love, full of grace and truth." What this tells me is that when we are called to "cross the street", we need to make sure we hear and follow. Amazing things can and do happen when we do so. When we feel that urge to do something in the name of our Lord, we should probably do it. Probably not hearing voices. It’s probably the Spirit nudging us to follow through on part of the bigger picture. The Plan. Gotta hear it. Gotta do it. And when we do, look out. Because the ride can be pretty unbelievable at times. Yet so totally believable.

*** A note….

As I mentioned earlier, I wrote most of this early this morning as I have to catch a flight this afternoon. Just wanted to post a quick update. This was an amazing day. There must have been 200 or more people there today. Lots of need. But lots of others stepping up to help. River of Life Church? Check. St. Vincent DePaul Church? Check. Papio Creek Church? Check. What an amazing opportunity to help. And all it takes is a little effort, a little time and a desire to serve. I am nothing short of amazed that God has opened this opportunity. I certainly wish we’d show up and the corner would be empty. That would maybe mean that homelessness and poverty would be over. Or the food suddenly became bad! That probably ain’t happening anytime soon. So here we are. Almost two years into this thing and we get to do it every week. With all sorts of different people from all walks of life. None of it is coincidental. Of that I’m sure.

1 John 3:17-18
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Discernment or Paralysis by Analysis?`

Last Sunday I met a young lady who was stuck here in Omaha, living under a bridge on . I believe she told me she was from Cedar Rapids, IA. Apparently she came here with a boyfriend, things didn’t work out and now she’s stranded here. She met a another guy and wanted to go to Lincoln with him. Problem was neither one of them had the funds to get there. She’d done her homework though. The bus tickets for the both of them was, I believe $37. Could we help her get there? I have to tell you, I struggle with these kinds of requests. I always wonder if the person asking is being totally square with me. And I think if I was on the other end, I’d maybe do whatever was necessary to get where I needed to go. Now this girl was clearly new to the area. Or at least new to our area. I’d never seen her before to be sure. But she needed help and word gets out quick that maybe a person could get a little help on that corner on Sunday. So I get all the information I can from her last Sunday. All she has for contact information is an email address. I won’t put her email address here for obvious reasons, but she was raised in an admittedly very pagan environment and part of her email address is wytch and there’s a 666 in it also. Now that is just bizarre to me, but whatever. So I get home and look up the price for a bus ticket to Lincoln and I try to figure out what to do. I mean it’s cheap enough that if a person got temp work for a few days, that person would have enough to get there on her own. Right? So I email her and tell her to call me. She does. On Tuesday. And this time she tells me that the tickets are now $22. Now I don’t know but I’m thinking that I’d find a way to get $22 if I really wanted to go somewhere. But that’s just me. So I ask her a million questions on the phone…"can’t you get a little temp work, can’t a family member send you the money"…all the usual questions a person thinks of I guess. I’ll be real honest. I really didn’t think we should help her. As if I should be the one making that kind of judgment. I mean, who am I to make this kind of decision for her? Sometimes I wonder about myself… So at this point I can tell she is getting a little flustered with me and I still can’t make a stinking decision. Apparently when she called, she was at some type of shelter and she was looking for some dinner. I tell her to get something to eat and call me back. She never does.

So Robin and I head out to our Tuesday group with our friends at the Vine. And as "luck" would have it, they are talking about this young lady. Seems she’d been there the week before and was looking for help from them also. So now I’m really not sure what to do. I mean it’s what I’d spend on a couple of large pizzas for my family and for some reason I’m suffering from paralysis by analysis. Good grief. So she shows up again today. And I tell her like usual to hang around and we’d talk after the meal was served and all the clothing was put out and all that stuff. I never want that stuff to get in the way of an important situation, but it’s hard to have any kind of a meaningful conversation while we are trying to get everything set up and served. Soooooo, as we are wrapping things up, someone comes up to me with a couple of bags of stuff to donate. This person has come down today for the first time to help out and she also brought some clothing and stuff to donate. And she also happened to hand me a twenty dollar bill for whatever. So guess what whatever that twenty went to? I guess her generosity answered any questions I may have had. You see the thing is, I seem to have a hard time in the discernment department. I struggle with who to help, when to help, when to try to understand if it’s in our best interests and the other person’s best interest. Sometimes I just don’t know. So after stumbling with this for a week, and while this young lady continued to sleep wherever she could lay her head, God hit’s me upside my rather large melon today and answered the question for me. Like I’ve said before, I could screw up a one man funeral. Thank God He’s there to give me guidance.

I had a long conversation with a friend of ours today. Seems this fellow is angry with God and wanted to talk to someone about it. The details of why he is angry are personal, but some things have happened to him over the course of his life that have made him a bit angry. And he wants to know if Robin and I can help in that department. I don’t know…can we? I mean, I tried to explain to him some things I’ve come to know over the years. But this fellow has had some crazy things happen to him and he wants to know why God lets these things happen. That’s always a tough one for me. I mean there are tons of different answers you could get from different people regarding "why God lets bad things happen to good people". I obviously don’t know where this will go, but one thing he said stuck out to me. He said he’s gone to churches and asked for help. Now I don’t know what churches and I don’t know what help. But he said he was tired of asking for help from people who go to church on Sunday and don’t live the rest of the week like they do on Sunday. He had a few choice words for sure, and there was some pent up anger. But it’s the first time I’ve had a real conversation with him and it was real. He was angry and it was a real emotion. Justified? I have no idea. I guess I’ll find out in the coming weeks.

And today we had another amazing meal. But the amazing thing I see in this is God continually sending people to help. Amazing people. People who bring ice cream and homemade apple crisp for around 200 people. That is amazing. I am simply blown away that someone would go out of their way to bring something like that for our friends. And I saw some folks with bowls that were busting out with the good stuff. Amazing. God does so many amazing things in this ministry and sometimes it’s easy to miss some of them. A young lady needs money to go to Lincoln. Another person just "happens" to show up with the same amount today for a donation? And I’m struggling to make a decision around this thing. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Look, we don’t preach to our friends. Not in so many ways. But for the most part, I’m convinced that they clearly understand why we come. Another gentleman that I’ve come to really enjoy talking with, came up to me and handed me a sheet of paper that contained a devotional. He gave it to me because he said it reminded him of Robin and me. He’s an older fellow from Africa and he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Ever. He just happens to be homeless. Part of that devotional, which was written by John Henry Newman, contained the following – ‘Let me preach You without preaching, not by words but by example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears for You". That’s been our deal from day 1. That our actions would speak loudly, but that they would definitely be evident. That our friends would clearly, and without a doubt know, that we are there because God sends us. It really is that simple. We are truly blessed to be there. It’s stressful, it’s tiring and sometimes I wonder how in the world we can keep going. But then I spend a Sunday afternoon down on that corner and I am able to quit wondering for at least a day or so. God truly carries the burden and I can simply be the person he created me to be for now. John Adams said, "The duty is ours, the results are God’s." I’ll go with that.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)