Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Bob's message...

I want to share a message I received from someone I care about deeply. I asked his permission to share this message and his exact words were..."do as you are lead. No problem here. God bless, bob".

Bob is a fellow I've referenced in the past. As I recall, Bob spent 14 years counseling others on addictions and those sorts of things. How then does he fall victim to the very things he is led to counsel others about? Don't know. It can be a wicked world. Anyway, Bob is one of the first guys we met in "The Office". Again, he was going to show us the ropes of the homeless shelter. He was going to take a couple of us under his wing and guide us through a night in his world. Bob left for Des Moines a couple of weeks ago with his buddy Al. I miss Bob and Al, because they were put in our paths for a reason. A wise friend once told me that if someone comes into your life and it is easy to see them go, you've invested nothing. If they leave and it hurts, you've made an emotional investment. Seems simple enough. It hurt to see Bob go. The last time I saw Bob was outside of the "dayhouse". The W. Dale Clark Public Library here in downtown Omaha. Right across the street from where we meet on Sundays. I mentioned in one of my last blogs that I saw Bob on that last Sunday grabbing a bite to eat and then later I looked around and he was gone. I even mentioned to him that I wanted to chat with him. But I looked around and no Bob. He later told me that was premeditated. He had made some choices, bad ones, and didn't want to talk about them?

The following week was pretty crazy. My uncle passed away on Monday. Death stinks. I know that sounds ridiculous and maybe I should rephrase that... Anyway, we were dealing with lots of "stuff" that week. But I got a message from Bob about that same time that he was thinking of leaving. Had a plan. He was going to Des Moines to get a fresh start. Wanted to know if we could help him. Well sure...that's part of what it is all about for us. It's one part of our mission, I believe. Helping. Doing something that we weren't doing just 5 or so months ago. Can we help Bob and Al get to Des Moines? Sure. Do I want to see him go? Absolutely not. The one thing I've learned in the few short months that we've been blessed in this mission - people come and go. A few weeks will go by and I realize that I haven't seen a certain individual? Where is he or she? Are they ok? Emotional investments.

So back to Bob. As my crappy week progressed, we exchange messages through myspace. Again, what a beautiful world we live in. Bob is not only my friend, he is a friend on myspace. What's next? So as we exchange messages throughout the week, it becomes clear to me that Bob is going. Not going to stick around here anymore. Des Moines offers hope and a new start. Can we help him get there? A bus ticket to Des Moines costs 28 dollars. 28 bucks. The cost for Al and Bob to get to Des Moines therefore, $56. You may recall, God blessed us with the funds to get a fellow named Alan to Des Moines a few months ago. A new start for Alan. The cost of a movie with my wife. And a big bucket of that great buttered popcorn. Alan still calls on occasion. Says he's doing great. I don't know what that actually means. It is, after all, relative. But he takes the time to call and let us know he is doing ok.

I met Bob on Friday of that week and we made arrangements to get a couple of bus tickets to the great city of Des Moines, Iowa. I asked Bob to call and let me know that he made it ok. He was scheduled to arrive via Greyhound at about 11:30 a.m. that Saturday morning. We were actually in Vail, Iowa on that day. My uncle's funeral. The funeral was at 10:00 a.m. As we were leaving the funeral and going to the cemetery, I couldn't help but think of Bob. Did he make it? Were they going to be ok? Of course they would. These guys know how to manage their way through the streets. So Bob sends me a message later that day that they made it and he would keep me posted on their activities. He has. We have exchanged messages almost everyday since they left. The following is one of the latest messages I've received in his exact words...

*************************************************
The clinic van driver gave me aride to get my meds yesterday. He is a called preacher who doesnt preach anymore. He is Baptist. He dropped me off and I got my stuff and began to think. Well, he picked me up to take me downtown and I told him I believed once called- then your called and that maybe driving this clinic van and seeing all kinds of people each day is his ministry. I told him that Christs message in my mind is all love and service. That is what we are to do. He has the perfect opportunity to service every day and share the message of love. I think with the message of love first, human to human then folks maybe more open to hearing about Jesus, sin , death - etc. But without a relationship to start from-- maybe they just shut ya down and right ya off as another religous nut or fanatic. I dont know, just some thoughts.

Rain has stopped here. slept under overpass again. Hopefully tent here today. Al is getting it from family. Had another camp fire last night and it is very beautiful. I love the smell of wood smoke. Today I will check the mail for my food stamp card.

I will let my meds build up to optimum levels and then decide what I want to do here. It take about 30 days to get a load dose in. I feel normal then. How are you doing with the 14/douglas church? How is the family? And of course I will pray for you and the group.
Later
bob
*************************************************

The thing that really stood out to me? This line from Bob - "I told him that Christs message in my mind is all love and service." Go back and re-read Bob's message. Love and service! Love first...then action, maybe through deeds, maybe through words and then delivering the message of greatest news we'll ever know. Our goal from the very beginning was to go and simply love right on that corner. Unconditionally. Get to know our new friends. I mean really get to know them. Go deep when the time is right. You can't do that from the beginning. It's a marathon. Not a sprint. Only after months, maybe years in some cases, of cultivating the relationships, can we go to that next and deeper level. As Bob said, without a relationship to start from, you have nothing. Brokenness. Emptiness. Despair.

Those things still exist. It is so complex. It will take forever and a day for us to get our heads around the complexities of these lives that we are now intertwined with. But we can slowly begin to show these great people that we are so blessed to fellowship with that there is greatness waiting for them. It is a long, uphill road. For us and for them. They've been beaten up in so many ways. So, too, have I. They've been told that they are lost and have no hope. So too had I. They need to be told that they are amazing creations of God and that he loves them. More than they could ever know. We try to be intentional and tell them that at every opportunity. Our only hope is that they eventually hear the message. I know they see it in action every week. I can't wait for the light to go on in an otherwise dark world. The light that says I do understand why you crazy people load that green van and bring God's provisions every week. The light that says we are here because God intended for these things to unfold every single Sunday. The light that was lit months ago for the sole purpose of love and service. To God. To God's amazing creations.

God lit a fire under us a few months ago. That fire burns every Sunday at 14th and Douglas Streets. The fire seems to get bigger every week. The burning desire to do more. To help more. To love more. To reach the lost and simply say...we love you, and by doing that, hopefully they will see the love of God burning in all of us.

"Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:15, 16).

I'll stop here. I pray for all of our friends in this mission. On both sides of the equation. We all need it. There is much to do and many to love. I thank Bob for his great words of wisdom. I love Bob. His words could not have come at a better time. They came in His time. Must remember it all happens in His time...

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

..."it matters to that one"... :)

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Gilded Cage...and of course, more ramblings.

It is said to be like "a bird in a gilded cage" is to live in luxury but without freedom. I'd like to take a different stab at this, because lately I've felt a bit of the gilded cage syndrome in my life. I have a great job. The stress level is very low. I have great hours. I'm home everyday in time to get in a good workout to relieve any normal, daily stress before dinner with my wonderful family. By all accounts I have it pretty doggone good. I am truly blessed beyond anything I probably deserve.

A little context first. Not to bore you with inane details, but...

I look back at my past and wonder why I've been so fortunate and why God has blessed me with so much? I was raised in much chaos. I only say that because that's pretty much what I remember. Looking back, I didn't know at the time how crazy life could be, but when you are in the midst of alcoholism and all the trappings that go along with that disease, I think sometimes you really don't quite know that things should be different. As a child, all I was worried about was when the next game of tackle football was going to happen or when I could catch a few tadpoles down by the creek that was located through the woods behind our house. It was mostly sports, maybe a little more sports, a little school because I had to, some after school work at my dad's little grocery store/gas station in Blue Mountain, Alabama, and if I could squeeze it in, a little more sports.

At some point, and I remember the day exactly like it happened yesterday, I started using and drinking. Mostly pot, a little beer, maybe a lot of beer, whatever worked at the time. I was 12. The details, the whys and whens, are probably not necessary. The usage continued on through my teenage years and well into my twenties. Of course I graduated onto harder stuff and again, the details are just window dressing. The point is that I was a freakin' mess.

My Dad reads these, so Dad, I want you to know, this is in no way, shape or form, a blame thing. I have to stress that from the bottom of my heart. I blame only myself for the situations I found myself in. It's easy to lay the blame at others and deflect from our own choices. It's easy to say, yeah, I grew up in a bad or different situation so I don't have to take responsibility for my actions. So easy to play the blame game. I've done it, but at some point years ago, I realized that it was simply me making the choices and I absolutely had to stand up and take it on the chin if that's what it meant. In some ways, my Dad and I have been on the same journey to a better life. Ironically, we both stopped the craziness in our lives at about the same time, in different states, both literally and figuratively. For different reasons, but the net result was the same. No more visiting Jack D., Jim B., or whoever for him, no more visits from MaryJane and her friends for me. :) I really don't mean to make light of this, because it was serious and still is. But I have to look back and chuckle sometimes, because I should probably be dead or in jail somewhere. The amount of toxins I was putting into my body was insane at times. I can only thank God that He saved me from that other world. A few legal problems and a judge who granted me a little grace also played a big part.

I know I'm rambling, as I have a tendency to do that, but bear with me. :)

So why is it then that I have been able to steer clear form these vices for 17 years? 17 year is a long time. I started at 12 (my oldest son is 12...I can't imagine him where I was at that age...talk about perspective...), and quit at 28. 16 years of using everything under the sun and utter insanity. 17 years of grace and goodness. Sanity, if that is possible. I ask the question because there are guys we see every week who are slaves to their addictions. In chains. Pure bondage. I'd like to think I can relate. I can't tell you how many guys come down on Sundays to fellowship with us and when I tell them of my past, they look at me in disbelief. Like I'm shooting them a line of pure BS! It is sometimes easy to come across as boasting of my "exploits", and occasionally I have to check myself in conversations with our friends on that corner. I don't ever want to appear in that way. What is it about men that we sometimes have to chest bump among ourselves regarding our "exploits"? It really is a dose of good old humility. I need that more and more these days. So back to my question. Why do some of us get it and others just cannot shake the chains?

A perfect example of this hit me yesterday like a hammer. A very, very good friend of ours, Bill, made an appearance yesterday. It was so good to see Bill again. Haven't seen him on our corner, on a Sunday, in several weeks. Seems like a couple of months even. I did see him recently on a Tuesday afternoon, and he wasn't in good shape. You may or may not remember my mention of Bill in one of my previous ramblings. Bill managed to get a place a few months ago at a place called the Catholic Worker House. He had hopes. We had hopes. It lasted only a couple of days. Bill told me yesterday that he has given up everything in his life for his one true love. Alcohol. It is the one thing he lives for. He once spent 9 months in a rehab facility, only to drink on the very day he was discharged. :( I simply don't understand the complexities. Another fellow, who they call Turbo, has apparently been able to whip his demon. Turbo and Bill are hanging out together these days. I asked Turbo how he was doing yesterday. Asked him if he's been drinking lately. His answer was a polite, but stern no. Absolutely not. Turbo was released from prison recently. 4 years in the big house. He was released about the time we started showing up at that corner every Sunday. What irony that these two are running buddies. Maybe there is hope for Bill. I know there is. Maybe his hope is through a fellow named Turbo. They are talking of heading to San Francisco in a few weeks. A change of scenery? I pray for Bill's contentment. He deserves it. I pray that he somehow is able to see God's grace and understand that he is loved. I think he sensed that yesterday. I think he got it. If I'd hugged him any tighter... Anyway, I tried to convey it to him. I hope I did. I just love the guy. Just like all the other guys and gals there. But something about Bill is different. Can't explain it. Probably has to do with the fact that I met Bill in the "office" our first Sunday. Favorites among our homeless friends? Does that sound as ridiculous as it seems to me? Who knows?

Another fellow I mentioned last week, Bob, has hit on hard(er) times recently. As if living in a shelter or on the streets isn't hard enough. Bob made some choices recently that he is pretty beaten up over. He left for Des Moines, Iowa Saturday. He promised he would let me know if he made it safely. He did. Myspaced me. Imagine that. As soon as he got there, he found a library and sent word that he made it safely and promised to stay in touch. I believe he will. I pray that he does. He said he stayed on the banks of the Des Moines River that first night and they would establish a more permanent camp soon. What must that be like? A permanent camp? My permanent camp is a colonial style, 5 stinking bedroom house in suburbia! Bob? A permanent camp in Des Moines? Wow. Again, why have I been so blessed? I'll be praying for Bob.

So back to the gilded cage. I work literally right across the street from our Sunday gathering spot. I can walk down the hall, go right to the stairwell windows and see the corner and the park where we meet every week. The building I work in is the headquarters building for a nationally known train/transportation company. Brand new, gleaming steel and glass building. Beautiful twenty story glass atrium right smack in the middle. Huge, 37 foot by 16 foot video screen in the lobby that runs various stuff on a loop. Company advertising, CNN/Weather Channel/whatever other news and stuff on a constant loop. Must have cost a million or more for the video screen alone. $260 million dollar facility. $260 meeeeelllllyun dollars. What does that much money look like? What is 260 million of anything? A lot?!!! So I work here 40 hours a week. Have to pay the mortgage. Food. Clothing. Blah...blah...blah. Typical stuff. I'm not knocking it or bashing it. Just seems like a lot and man could that much money be put to use is other ways. 40 hours a week here. Probably 2 hours a week spent each Sunday on our corner. 40 vs. 2. 2 vs. 40. Where do I suppose more important stuff is happening? I know. And again, it's not like I can just quit my job and do this stuff full time. Or can I? It'd be pretty ballsy I guess. That's for another day I suppose. For now, we'll just follow what God has in store for us and press on.

The mission is great and the need is sooooo huge. I have to tell one other story. Yesterday, Robert "pulls" up to the corner. In his motorized wheelchair. Robert is homeless, living on disability. Living at 1702 Nicholas Street, Omaha, Nebraska. The Sienna/Francis House. A wet shelter. So Robert shows up yesterday in his power chair like he does most Sundays. I've often wondered about Robert. A few weeks ago, he showed up in the snow. Had snow build-up under his chair. Like you get on your cars here in the winter. Just kind of got me wondering about maintenance and such. Robert busses all around the city with his friend Tommy. It's not like he doesn't get around. So he shows up yesterday with a low tire. Needs some Fix-A-Flat for his rig. Man, just when I thought I'd seen it all. Now this is important. His chair is his mode of transportation. The guy gets around. Can't have a flat tire. He has spare inner tubes, but they need to be patched. Remember patching your bike tires when you were a kid? It comes back quickly. Anyway, the immediate need is what Robert calls Tire Gunk. So where do I find Tire Gunk on a Sunday? I have a couple of things I was planning on doing after we wrapped things up on the corner yesterday and none of them involved Tire Gunk. Ok, a change in plans. I tell Robert that I'll take his extra, busted inner tube with me and fix it. Also, I'll try to find the nearest store that sells Tire Gunk. On a Sunday. I really needed to go visit with my mother yesterday. She normally comes down on Sundays and helps us out. My wonderful, 73 year young mother. Doesn't look a day over 29! Have I mentioned how honored I am to serve God's people every Sunday with my mother? My rock. One of my idols! Anyway, Mom didn't make it down yesterday. We had a death in the family last Monday. Uncle Jack decided, at 84, it was time to move on. More about him some other day. So, I really wanted to visit with Mom and a couple of my uncles who were in for the funeral. Yesterday afternoon, we were going to stop by her place after our activities were complete. So I asked Robert to give me a little time to do that and I would go out as soon as I could and find the Gunk. About 4:00, I get a call...its Robert. Wondering where I am. Sounds a little perturbed that I am taking so long. I just kind of chuckle and explain it again to him. He's ok. So, Nick and I head off to an O'Reillys Auto Parts store and voila...Tire Slime. Also got a patch kit for the spare inner tube. So Tire Slime. Good grief. What'll it be next? :) It's not Gunk, but maybe it'll work. I call Robert and let him know we are on our way. This stuff is strange. You have to remove the valve stem core from the tube, squirt the stuff in, replace the core and fill it with air. What will they think of next? So we meet right on the corner of 14th and Douglas and we do the wheelchair maintenance. Right out of the back of the old family mini-van, in the street in a no parking zone. Robert carries his own air pump, but it has to plug into the power outlet of a car. So we do the deed and he is on his way. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I'd be performing wheelchair maintenance on that corner. But whatever it takes. They were so thankful and praised God several times for our being there. It's not about us. It's about them. I love 'em.

There is a painting by Evelyn De Morgan called The Gilded Cage. It was her final work before her death in 1919. (I'm not an art guy by any means, so Google was my friend here.)

In this painting, a woman looks out a window with her hand stretched out and up in a gesture of yearning. She is looking at a group of gypsy figures, dancing under the open sky. The principal figure among the gypsy group is a woman who dances while holding her baby close to her, thus suggesting an alternative vision of maternal duty.

Soaring free about the dancing group is a bird, which contrasts sharply to the captive bird in the gilded cage that hangs beside the woman's older husband. The husband seems oblivious to his wife's state of mind.

On the floor and disregarded is jewelry and an open book, which signifies her rejection of tradition, convention, and old ideas.

I guess in a sense, with what we are doing on Sundays, we are rejecting tradition, convention and old ideas. We just really felt that God was impressing upon us to do something a little different this time. The thing about what we are doing is that it is clearly Gods work. Clearly. We simply could not pull this off without him. Every time we need a little help, whatever the needs, he provides it. In so many shapes and forms. It is all His work. Not ours.

I'll be praying for Bill, Bob, Robert and all of our friends. I would ask you to do the same. Pray for them. Pray for us. There is so much need, and I'm not only talking about them.

Once again, if you've made it through this far, you either have too much time on your hands or you are a glutton for punishment. I'd buy you a beer, but they are not on the menu for me anymore. :) How about I buy you a cup of soup on Sunday at noon across the street from the gilded cage? All are welcome. Praise God. To Him goes all the glory!!

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

..."it matters to that one"... :)

Monday, March 12, 2007

More ramblings...imagine that. :)

Soooo....you've been blessed with what you believe to be vision. In your eyes, there is no doubt that you are out there for the right reasons. You put it all out there because you know it's what God has for you. There is no doubt in your mind. Clearly, you are sanctioned by the love of God. No doubt in your mind whatsoever. Why then, would some feel the need to question that? Why? I understand people wanting to be helpful. I understand people caring for a persons well being. Caring for a person's eternal salvation. Or just simply caring. And I understand people maybe feeling the need to offer advice or opinions. I readily accept that. I welcome that. And I readily admit that I might sometimes be bull-headed. No mistake about that either. I wrestle with my demons and issues on a daily basis. Believe me, I come with plenty of baggage. Hey we all have our flaws...I get that.

What I don't understand is how something can be so unbelievably clear to me, yet maybe not so clear to others? I mean, how can something that is so incredibly powerful be doubted? We meet on the corner of 14th and Douglas here in downtown Omaha every Sunday at noon for fellowship with whoever shows up. It just so happens that most of those that do come down to meet with us are homeless or in some sort of transition. Whatever. They are no different than you or me. In some cases, they get it more than us. Maybe life is simpler for them. Maybe more complex. We all have our live issues to deal with. I don't begin to think I understand the complexities of what we are into here. I don't have any idea what God has in store for us. But I'm in for the long haul and the ride has been unbelievable so far. Robin and I have had discussions over the course of our doings and we have long term ideas. But for right here and now, it's all about showing up on Sunday with several pots of whatever incredible food that God has blessed us with for this particular day, maybe some physical needs items, and a whole lot of God's amazing love and grace. That's what it's all about for us right now. Nothing else. It is so incredibly simple. Yet so amazingly awesome. No agendas...no hidden messages. Just the awesome love of our Savior. We've been told that maybe we should deliver a message on Sundays. That blows my mind. And I say it blows me away because I'm pretty sure the message is out there. A wise friend recently reiterated a simple but profound saying...always preach the gospel, and when necessary use words. Don't get me wrong, I know the importance of God's word. Make no mistake about that. None. But I know that what happens for us on this very corner every week is of God. Every single event that takes place is about his mission. Every single cup of soup...every single slice of bread...every bottle of water...every single cup of coffee that I was able to serve yesterday with my beautiful 6 year old daughter...every blanket...every piece of clothing. All of it. Every thing we do is blessed and happens because He wants it to happen. There can be no mistake about that. It is so clear.

Yesterday, the weather finally broke for us. It was absolutely a great day. You have to understand that last week, we were digging out of a blizzard. Robin and I went to Charlotte for the weekend, so we actually missed out for the first time. Great timing on our part? :) I felt like something was missing and it was. We belong on that corner every single week. We had a great visit in NC with some very dear friends, but this is our corner. Our mission. One of the things that bothered me yesterday, even though it was a beautiful, almost spring day, was the fact that I couldn't get around to chat with all of "our" guys. I would guess that there were probably 80 - 100 people yesterday. Maybe that's an exaggeration. I don't know. There were a lot of folks on that corner.

One fellow in particular intrigued me yesterday...Menelik. I'm not always good with details, and when you meet so many guys on any given Sunday, the details sometimes seem to get mixed up. From what I recall, Menelik is native to Sudan. But he is from Ethiopia. Ironically, a very close friend of ours just returned from one of many trips to Ethiopia last week while we were visiting in Charlotte. Some outrageously cool stories from his trips. So it was very interesting to be able to chat with Menelik, if only for a few minutes. He is s very intriguing fellow. He was involved in some type of war in his homeland and saw his father murdered. Right before him. I can't imagine. As he told the story to Robin, he cried. I cry for him now. But something as simple as a meal on a Sunday afternoon in the park brought us together. He said he heard that we would be there. He came. We were there. Because God told us to go. What an awesome responsibility. But the coolest thing about it is that He supplies everything we need to go and, in doing so, allows us to minister to His people. To Menelik. I stood at the trunk of my car getting a bag of bagels together with Menelik. Something for later. He asked me to pray for him. I said yeah, but you have to pray for me. I need your prayer as much as you need mine. So Menelik is praying for me. Lord knows I need it. I am definitely in prayer for him. Lord knows he needs it. We all need it. Sometimes, I feel so hopelessly lost. But here's a guy who watched his father get killed right before his eyes. For what? And someone (again, didn't catch this part) paid his way to the US. And now he's homeless in the US? What is that all about? But because of his circumstances, and because we are so blessed to be there on Sundays, our paths have now crossed. He said he would be back next week. Maybe he will...maybe not. If I never see Menelik again, that's ok. I truly hope to see him again next Sunday. I have questions for him. He is a fascinating individual. No more than all the folks we meet. They all have a pretty unique story. Menelik's story is just a little different for obvious reasons. And he said he'd pray for me. Him praying for me. That is what it is all about. If I were to venture a guess, I would say that Menelik has a Muslim background? Maybe not. But he spoke of Jesus Christ. It was pretty apparent that he gets it. I can't wait to see him next Sunday. I have so many questions for him.

**** Edit from Mike Lilly (thanks Mike for filling in some of the blanks!) *****
Rock on!

Menelik was pretty interesting. An american living in England apparently paid for his trip over. He was sixteen when he joined the militia. They called them the Red Troops. They were all 15 and 16. He was lucky/blessed. When his unit got pushed across the border they came out at a UN border checkpoint that also had a camp. Apparently they were checked for health/disease and were on planes to Virginia within days. Many of his friends were not so lucky. They were the original "Lost Boys". There is more but that can be for later.

Did you know he was married here in the states (not sure what happended) and has a son and daughter. I think his son is in college if I understood him corrrectly.

**** End of Edit *****

And then there's Bob. I love Bob. He reminds me of a brother or uncle or simply a dear friend. He's not much older than me. Bob has a myspace page, so I really hope he doesn't mind me mentioning him here. I won't give away any secrets. I really don't know any. I just know that Bob has struggles not unlike me. Demons. Issues. I have 'em. Robin has 'em. We all have 'em. But there is a light that shines in Bob's eyes. I see it every time I talk to him. I felt cheated yesterday. I saw Bob early on getting something to eat and wanted to chat with him. I looked around a bit later and he was already gone. I felt a sinking feeling. Bob is one of the first guys we met. Talked to him in the "office" one afternoon. We mentioned that we wanted to spend the night in the shelter with him that day and he said he'd take care of us there. Show us the ropes. That is still in the plan. Did I mention that I truly love Bob? Well I do. It's really hard not to gravitate to certain individuals and Bob is one of the guys that I always feel a special kinship towards. Bob has a medical procedure scheduled for this Thursday morning. I'm pretty sure Bob wouldn't mind a few extra prayers. I'll be praying for him...

I guess I say all these things for a couple of reasons. Number one, there are so many stories. I could literally fill a book with the stories we've heard and been a part of over the last few months. I stood there yesterday and just took it all in at one point. I was talking with couple of guys that show up pretty regularly, Michael and Gene, and they mentioned how blessed they were that we did what we did. I told them "we" did nothing. It was all about His glory. We were just the guys and gals bringing the message. I really don't think they believed me when I told them how lucky and blessed "we" were. "We" being those of us who are so fortunate to be a small part of what God is doing on that corner. No walls. Open air, albeit, sometimes frigid air. But not yesterday. Not a few feet west of the office. The weather was perfect after a pretty cold winter. Our blessing of bringing the church to God's people is almost more than I can bear sometimes. And when we get to do it after enduring a fairly nasty dose of cold weather, it makes it that much more spectacular. I witnessed my kids running and playing among all the people. I saw Nick chatting with George almost the whole 2 hours we were there. I asked Nick later what they were talking about and he, like most nine years olds, couldn't remember. How many times have we asked our kids what they learned in school and tried to pry it out of them? Yesterday I tried to pry it out of poor Nick, but he's nine. It didn't matter how I asked the question. I tried leading questions, probing questions...nothing. But what Nick did say was so profound. He said George was his friend. I have no idea what George's story is? Maybe he has kids somewhere and this is his way of keeping them at hand. Maybe he just likes kids? Make no mistake that I sometimes fear for the safety of my kids. And it is difficult to keep an eye on them at all times. 2 hours on that corner is a lifetime to them. I say that I fear for their safety because I've been entrusted with their welfare. Not to mention the fact that I love them more than life itself. There's a lot happening on that corner on Sundays. In fact, it's pretty chaotic at times. But my kids absolutely love going down on Sundays. And they get to see the living version of Christ's mission for all of us. The other reason that these things are weighing pretty heavily on me lately is that I feel opposition. I guess anytime that God blesses us, the opposition will rise to try to tear it down. Well, it ain't happenin'. Not on our corner. Now on my watch. This is personal now. It's our baby. God clearly said to go and do. We are. We will continue. It is our mission. It's our kid. We've been entrusted with it's safety. These are our friends. We love going down there and we love what God is doing, not only on Sundays, but also in our personal situations. He is the reason we do what we do. It is not about us. It is about them. And more importantly...it is about Him. All praise and glory is His. And I so love Him with all my being. He has given me so much undeserved grace. On a personal level, I have let him down so many times. But every time I turn back to Him, there He is waiting with open arms. And every time we show up on that corner, He opens His arms a little wider to gather in His people. I love God.

One last thing. Yesterday, as everything winded down and things were packed away, I kind of just stood back and surveyed the area. It was around 2:00 p.m. DST. (Stupid daylight savings time...warning - small tangent coming - the missions neglected to tell some of the guys about daylight savings time...some of them arrived late and missed out on lunch. I never have liked DST and dislike it even more now...end of tangent!) So as I looked around at the wall-less "church" that just happens every Sunday, I did my usual eyeball survey for trash and whatever else needed to be picked up. And it never fails to dawn on me the magnitude of what happens there every single Sunday. I've heard we maybe need more vision or direction. I have no idea what that means. I don't know how anyone can actually show up there on a Sunday and see what happens and not know that God is directing it all. I'm not sure how we could direct it any better than He does?? It is clear that if we try to stay out of His way and let Him work through us, that His plan will be fulfilled. I am so honored and so thankful that He allows us to be a small part. His work is so great. His mission is so important. His vision is so apparent.

Oops..one more thing. Sundays are good. I love our mission. I love that Menelik is praying for me this week. Can you imagine? He is praying to our Christ for me!!! I love that I can chat with Bob on myspace. What an amazing world that we live in. What an amazing mission God has for us. What an absolutely unbelievable situation I find myself in every day. I love God and I so love the people He has placed in our paths. They so get it. They absolutely understand why we come. No agendas...no ulterior motives. Just the unmistakable and blatant love of our Savior. And we find ourselves in the most honored positions of bringing that love in whatever shape or form He so desires. We are so blessed...

Should I go on? Oh, I could... :) But I won't. If you've made it this far, your eyes are probably bleeding.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

..."it matters to that one"... :)