Fear

Today was one of those days that make me glad we do what we do on Sundays. Logistically, it was a minor challenge. Relationally, it was absolutely why God has us on a corner in downtown Omaha.
　
Logistically? This weekend was the annual Summer Arts Festival in downtown Omaha. It’s a nice festival with artists from all over, music, kids’ activities, and everything else one could imagine with a festival such as this one. The only problem it presents for us is the organizers don’t seem to know or care that we set up a family meal for a few hundred every Sunday on the very corner that is the entrance to the festival. So we improvise. We have a pretty good Director on our side, so improvisation isn’t such a big deal. So the plan today was to set up on our old corner. As we were about 5 minutes away from the downtown area, we got a call from someone who helps most weeks. She informed us that there was no place to park the van and trailer on our old corner. So she asked a police officer if we could park in front of some barricades that were being used to block 14 th St. They directed us to the corner of 13 th and Douglas St. So it was a bunch of improv for us in this weekly adventure, but we knew going in that would be the case. And it didn’t take us completely by surprise. One of the funny things that happened was the concerned calls we received from our friends downtown in the days leading up to Sunday. Robin answered the phone Saturday night to one of our friends telling us all about the fact that the festival was set up on our corner and what were we going to do? Wing it. That’s what. And we did.
　
Relationally? Well this is where it was good for me. In a strange way. I find myself more and more lately not being able to have meaningful conversation on that corner. Just too much chaos. Good chaos, but chaos nonetheless. So today, in a really weird way, in the middle of the logistical concerns, which really turned out to be no big deal, I was able to actually spend time with a couple of fellows that I’ve really come to appreciate very much over the past couple of years. The conversations weren’t extremely long or extremely deep. Or maybe they were a bit deep. On the one hand, I had a chance to talk to a guy we’ve known from the beginning. Shows up most every Sunday. Real, honest to goodness street guy. Whatever that means. But he’s lived a rough life. And lived a pretty agnostic life, if I’m not mistaken. But it seems that God has place a certain biker church in his path. Imagine that? God working in strange and humorous ways. Because this fellow is a fellow of conviction. You can see it in his eyes and you can hear it in his words. So he’s been telling us about this biker church for a while now. Just about 10 blocks straight west of where we meet on Sundays. Tells Robin and I that we have to visit this church some Sunday. And we just might. Because logistically, they meet at a time that would allow us t do it at least one Sunday a month. So today he mentioned that he’d just finished a long conversation with Robin. And she wasn’t happy with him. Now he and I both knew that she was simply unhappy with the way he was heading. As we are with lots of our friends. We can’t change them for sure. But we can let ‘em know what we think. And occasionally we do. So he’d just finished his talk with Robin and here I was going for round 2! I think both of us had the same bottom line for him. We just don’t want to see anything totally preventable happen to him. And he knows that. His comment to me was that it was going to happen to us all someday. I agreed. And as I shook hands with him and told him goodbye, I told him that before that happens he’d better be darn sure his heart was right with the Lord. He just looked at me and said "you had to go there, didn’t you?" Yep. Had to. And did. And I pray that he goes there.
　
And then I had the chance to sit on a wall in the shade and have a nice long conversation with one of my buddies. We talked about his life. His behavior. His dread and hate of his lifestyle. His anger and frustration at wanting to quit and not being able to. And his fear. He told me that for the last few months, he has been carrying around this fear. That something bad was on the horizon. That if he didn’t change things drastically, he’d really be in trouble. He reads his Bible pretty regularly. He believes. I know that. But he continually turns from God. As we probably all do in some way, shape or form. I tried to get that across to him. That we are all pretty busted. But God’s grace is so huge. And Robin has told him that he’s living in God’s extended grace. He knows what he needs to do. But he just doesn’t know how to get it done. This thing has been on his back for 37 years. Over 50 arrests in 8 years. 150 different charges. Most of them minor, open container, stuff like that. But lots of time lost. Never get that back. Today he was sober and very easy to talk with. That’s not always the case, but it was today. And I just pray that a seed was planted in his head that he can do it. With Christ, he absolutely can do it. Maybe the fear will push him to the point of finally doing something to begin the long uphill climb of change. We have a saying between us. The language isn’t nice. I’ve said it once to him. And frankly I think I shocked him when I said all those months ago. I don’t even have to use the language anymore. Once was enough. And every time I see him now I remind him of the road he’s on. It’s a %$#&*^ up road. He knows it and I know it. And God knows it. But he’ll rescue us from that road. I’m convinced of it. At times I wonder if some of these hardcore guys can ever change. I mean real, long term, mind and heart change. Put down the bottle forever change. We’ve not seen much success in the time we’ve been down there in that regard. We’ve definitely seen people change. Out of the shelters. Into apartments. Short term sobriety. But I don’t think we’ve seen one of our hardcore street friends get that massive gorilla off their back. Surely it can happen. Right? We see so many people, the odds are that it has to be possible. Right? I pray that is the case. And until we see it? We’ll keep fighting the fight. On whatever corner we end up on. With whomever will put on the gloves with us and go into the ring. I pray that the fear will be enough to make a difference for my buddy.
　
[The Lord speaking to Paul] "I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me." ~Acts 26:18
　
Peace, have a great and blessed week and make a difference.
　
…it matters to that one… :)

2 Boxes on Father’s Day

Many times over the past few years, I’ve gotten a call or email from someone asking about giving us a donation. A clothing donation. And lots of times, it was because someone, a family member…a father, an uncle, a brother or a son left and wouldn’t be needing his clothing anymore. I always struggle with these ones. I remember the first time it happened like it was yesterday. Walking through someone’s apartment after he’d left. Gone. Never to be heard from again. It was just strange. A fellow from Union Pacific called me and asked me if we could use his father’s clothing. All of it. His dad was gone now and wouldn’t be needing it anymore. It is with real mixed emotions that I accept these calls and I really struggle with them. I mean, the stuff needs to go somewhere and we have a pretty good avenue to use the things people give us. But the other side is a family member is gone and it just seems so personal when you are talking about the clothing. I mean, I couldn’t begin to estimate the amount of clothing we’ve been blessed to be able to help out with over this time. The people we meet with weekly just have needs and it seems to be that one of the biggest needs is simple clothing and things of that nature. But when a person leaves this great big ball of dirt and those left behind are left to figure out what to do with the stuff? Well that’s a tough one.
　
I went through this to a degree last year. My father left us at the age of 75. Last May. His deal here was done. I’ve written about my dad a few different times. About our relationship, or lack of one for many years. But in the end, it was very good. I miss him today. Greatly. And ironically, this past week we had visitors here in Nebraska. Several of my nephews from Alabama came to visit. Part of the draw for them was the College World Series, which has been taking place here in Omaha for the past week or so and will conclude early next week. But part of the trip was just to get together with family and do what family does. But a funny thing happened. My sister packed a couple of boxes for the fellows to bring to Omaha. A couple of boxes that just happened to have clothing. From my father. For this ministry thing we do weekly. A donation. Now this is a tough one for me. The clothing was in the trunk of the car they drove to Omaha. My father’s old car. And some of his clothing was in the trunk in 2 boxes. I found out that they brought this stuff the day before Father’s Day. Fortunately I’d already completed sorting out the stuff for today when I found out about the boxes. I don’t know how I’m going to sort and distribute his stuff. I mean I realize it’s only stuff. But it was his stuff. My dad’s stuff. And I just don’t know what it’s going to be like to look through those boxes one year later and make an attempt to sort through it. I guess I’ll do what I have to do, but man…
　
So on this day, this day when we honor our earthly fathers, I’d like to take a moment to honor my father. He had a few warts. Don’t we all. He had his flaws. Don’t we all. But deep down, he was a good man. And I am so thankful and blessed that before he left us, he and I worked it all out. We had a great relationship in the end and I think that’s all we can hope for. I pray for other relationships that are not so good these days. I pray they will be good again. Somehow. Someday. And until that day, I am so thankful that on this day, this day when we honor Fathers, I can honestly hope and pray that my life in some way honors our heavenly Father. The One who is responsible for it all. The One Whom I rely on for so much. I can, in no way do justice here, but I can valiantly try. And that I will. And next week? I’ll try my best to go through dad’s stuff and do with it what I know he’d tell me to do with it. I can almost hear his voice now, in his southern drawl and his way with words, and the way he always called me David. Not Dave and certainly not Super Dave or anything else. It was always David. I can hear him telling me to give it away. He’d probably say "it ain’t much, but somebody can probably use it. Go on ahead and do whatever you want with it." Well dad, I’ll figure it out somehow. And God, can you help me figure it out? All this craziness here? All this homelessness, this neediness, this poverty, this substance abuse, this mental illness…the list goes on and on. God, can you help me figure it out? Can You help me to be the father You created me to be? So that in the end, my kids don’t have to pack my "stuff" up in boxes and try to figure out what to do with it all? 2 boxes? Man, that’s going to be a tough one.
　
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ~Hebrews 12:1
　
Peace, have a great and blessed week and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Stuff and things...

We started serving from two different lines last week. It lends to obvious advantages. Time being the key. Less waiting. More time to hang out and chat. Easier to serve a warm meal. Things like that. One big disadvantage, from a purely selfish standpoint for me is my inability to meet and greet all of our friends downtown. I always work my way through the line after we pray and just say hi to everyone. It’s probably one of my favorite things to do. I get to see old friends, new friends and in between friends. It helps me to remember names also. And here’s the big one for me. It allows me keep, in my mind, a sort of mental record of who was there on a given Sunday. I have zero recall most times, so I don’t know what that really buys me. The thing is, it’s tough with so many people to know who’s there and who isn’t. I saw a guy today, as I was working my way through line number one, that hasn’t been around in at least a year or more. He left quite some time back to work in Arizona. I asked him what he was doing back in Omaha? His answer was not so unlike many these days. Unemployment. Said if he was going to be unemployed, he might just as well be unemployed here. And he was with another fellow that I hadn’t seen in a while. Probably one of the best dressed homeless guys we’ve met in our time in the downtown area. So when our friend arrived from Arizona, he asked if we were still in business. I thought that was pretty funny. Still in business? I told him as long as God was in business, I imagined we’d be in business. I don’t really know what that meant, but I know I meant it, if that makes sense. So back to the dual line system. One of the major disadvantages for me is the inability to greet everyone. I’m going to have to make my arms longer or something because I haven’t figured out how to work my way back and forth between the lines. About halfway through the first line, I gave up and decided to do one at a time. And then I saw someone waiting for me at the end of line number one.
　
This fellow was released from jail recently. Ever since we’ve known him, I swear he’s been in jail more than he’s been out. Until recently. And like most of our friends, he’s a great guy. He’d literally give you the shirt off his back. So when he got out of jail this last time, he made a statement to me that I hear often. "I’m quitting Dave." Period. So I kind of shrugged it off. I hoped he would. I know he hoped for it also. But, after seeing and hearing it many times before from many different people, I had my doubts. But a funny thing has happened. Or maybe not so funny. This guy is really on a good path. For the most part, he’s quit the crazy lifestyle that got him in so much trouble…over and over and over. He’s got his own place now. No more living on the streets. No more bridges. No more any of that stuff. For now anyway. And he really seems to be taking pride in his new lifestyle. I couldn’t be happier for him. One problem still exists for him. And it’s a big one. You could say that he’s double dipping. He’s making a valiant attempt to rid himself of the destructive lifestyle that caused him so many problems over the years. But he’s still hanging around the same people. Different behavior on his part. Same massively destructive behavior from his buddies. Our friends. And he expects them to change. It’s a tough road. To really change, he’s probably going t have to make some impossibly difficult decisions sooner rather than later. I pray he has the intestinal fortitude to hang on and do what he knows he’ll probably have to do.
　
Here’s a bit of irony. The corner where we meet weekly is directly across the street from the main branch of the Omaha Public Library. It literally serves as a sort of day house for lots of our friends. Before today, it opened for business at 1:00 p.m. on Sundays. So from noon to 1:00, we had a pretty captive audience. But as of today, because of budget cuts, they’ve discontinued Sunday hours. No more library for our friends on Sundays. So from a selfish standpoint, I kind of liked it. We didn’t see the rush to get there that we normally see when the library opened. But for our friends? Not much to do on a Sunday now. And you know what idle time brings. But a funny thing happened last week. And I should mention that we’ve been seeing lots more kids and families on that corner recently. For whatever reason. So last week a fellow comes to our house with a donation. This is the realtor that actually handled our house sale. Great guy. And he shows up with tons of kid’s stuff. Not KidStuf. :) Kid’s stuff. Stuffed animals, some toys, and lots of kid’s books. Lots and lots of kid’s books. I have to be honest. When I saw the boxes in the garage, I had a bit of a minor anxiety attack. We usually don’t take much stuff down for the kids. There just haven’t been that many kids…until recently. I pray that we don’t start seeing more. So when I saw the bags and boxes, I wondered what in the world we’d do with them. And Robin says to me, "Just take a box down and see how it goes." Or something like that. But I couldn’t take just one box. So we took several. And as I made my way through the serving line, anytime I saw anyone with kids, I told them to make sure they got over to the trailer when we put all the other stuff out because we had some special stuff for them also. And the books were a hit. Kids sitting all over the sidewalk picking through books and taking the ones they liked. There’s something about kids that warms my heart. I absolutely love kids. I loved being involved in our KidStuf program when our family attended our church in Charlotte. Loved it. And when I saw all the kids today going through the books and walking away with armfuls? Well, let’s just say I had zero anxiety and it was a good thing. I think probably half the books found a new home today. I think we might be on to something in that regard. Just a bit ironic that the first day the library is closed on Sunday, the kids get a treat and I’m reminded of what it means to see them doing what kids do. On a downtown street corner that is pretty chaotic lots of times. What an absolute blessing to be a part of God’s work today. I’m blown away that we can be in community for few hours each week with some of the greatest people. What a deal.
　
If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs. ~Deuteronomy 15:7-8 (NIV)
　
Peace, have a great and blessed week and make a difference.
　
…it matters to that one… :)

Waiting

What a great day downtown today! We had a regular family picnic today. The great folks from St. James church came today and took it up a notch. Grills, burgers, hot dogs, potato salad. Man, it was quite the spread. It really was much like a family picnic. Friends, family, great food. All the ingredients for a great time. When I got up this morning, after listening to an all night storm, I was wondering if this might actually be the day that we get rained out. Completely. I mean, it rained and hailed all night. Hard. And at approximately 7:00 a.m. this morning, it was pouring. I knew of all the work St. James had put into getting this thing up and running today and was hoping we’d be alright. The rain let up a bit later and things seemed as if they’d be ok. They were. Mornings like this are nice for lots of reasons. All the people that normally help cook get a break. That would include my lovely wife. Things are just a little calmer in the Laney kitchen on the first Sunday of the month when St. James is doing the meal. And seeing as though the Book of James is one of my favorite books of the Bible, it’s just fitting that they step it up the way they do. And I swear today they kicked their game into a whole new gear. It is so unbelievably cool to see members of a church step out of their normal Sunday routine and get into something like this. It is most definitely a win-win for everyone involved. Our friends downtown were treated to a great meal of Omaha Steak’s burgers and dogs. Really good ones. The folks from St. James get an amazing opportunity to share, in action, their great faith. And we just have to show up with everything else. It’s just really cool to see them in action. They brought several gas grills and had them up and running with burgers and dogs coming off them so fast our friends couldn’t keep up! It was awesome. And this type of opportunity exists for anyone to get involved. I often hear people say they want to help. Today I saw it firsthand. Wow. I love serving in this community.
　
I’ve noticed for some time that our friends do a lot of waiting. Wait to get a bed at the shelter. Wait to get an appointment at wherever. Wait to get a computer at the library. Wait to get a meal. I mean, there’s a bit of that that’s going to happen. Goes with the territory. But one thing I’ve noticed the past few weeks is there’s a lot of waiting to eat at our regular Sunday gatherings. In some cases, I swear a guy has to wait 45 minutes to get a meal. Now I’m biased but even I don’t think the food is so good that it’s worth waiting for that long. And it’s not really like we are amateurs anymore at serving a meal. We’ve been at it long enough that we can get people through pretty quickly. But it just seems like people are waiting a lot. Too much. Last week I really noticed it. I schmoozed my way through the line and 40 minutes later, I see some of the same guys that haven’t eaten yet. Enough. This week? Two serving lines. Here’s the deal. I’ve been at the shelters and watched our friends wait for things I take for granted. If I want to go to bed? I go to bed. If some of our friends want to go to bed? At one particular shelter in town they have to wait on the back patio until they can be processed in. Like 5 at a time. Sometimes in below freezing weather. Outside, waiting for a bed. Let’s just say that dignity is not at the top of the list sometimes. So when I see our friends waiting yet again, it bothers me. Especially to get something as basic as a meal. On Sunday. So this week we split everything up and had 2 serving lines. It was so simple and I could kick myself for not doing it sooner. We may not have to do it every week. We literally got everyone through in half the time. Imagine that. They still had to wait. Just maybe not quite as long today and the wait was definitely worth it today.
　
One last thing. No really. This is it. But it’s a biggie. This week, one of our friends will have surgery to correct a cataract. Might sound like no big deal. And maybe to some it wouldn’t be. But to our friend it’s a big deal. And to us it's a big deal. A really big deal. To a fellow from a foreign country who is in our country, our city, living in a shelter, seemingly spinning his wheels in so many ways? I can’t imagine what it would be like to have to deal with that. I guess I mostly take my vision for granted. It’s there. I can see what I want to see. I open my eyes each morning and I can see pretty clearly. This fellow doesn’t necessarily have that luxury. But after Tuesday, things should be a bit better for him. By the Grace of God and a few generous donations, he should be in a different state later in the week. We usually agree to disagree that the blessings come from God. I mean he knows that, but just has maybe different views on some of these things. Whenever I tell him not to thank us for anything, he disagrees and says he must. For various reasons. So we agree to disagree. But it’s a good thing. We aren’t able to see eye to eye on some things, but we both get the big picture. He was in such good spirits today. The waiting for him is finally over. I can’t wait to hear how it goes for him. He once told me he was depending on us for something that was rally important to him. If he only knew how undependable I really am, he wouldn't be depending on me for anything. But as unworthy as I might be, I have hope in Christ. That’s all I need to know. I pray that things go well for him this week. Somehow I know they will.
　
Consider God's generosity towards you rather than your own unworthiness in His sight, and live in His strength, rather than in the thoughts of your own weakness. ~ St. Vincent de Paul
　
Peace, have a great and blessed week and make a difference.
　
…it matters to that one… :)