Ramblings and Fried Chicken!!

What an amazing, freaking day! Can I say that? I think I just did. What a day. Today, we had probably the best meal that we’ve served to date. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, cole slaw, potato salad, watermelon, a barrel full of soda pop and lots of other good stuff. This was something Robin has wanted to do for a while, but, logistically, doing fried chicken for that many people was a bit daunting. That’s a lot of chicken. The bigger picture here is that God provides. He sent a great couple our way who ended up donating a large portion of the chicken. It’s unreal how He works in this thing to provide just what we need when we need it. 500 pieces of fried chicken?!! Are you kidding me?!! And the great people from River of Life Church were back in full force. What an amazing group of people. One of the guys from River of Life, Dan was talking to me as we were loading the trailer at the end of the day. A little while earlier, he was scooping potatoes. So he asks me if I think there would be a need for dressing open wounds. Are you kidding me? I’ve seen some pretty nasty wounds on some of our friends. So Dan, as he’s handing me the empty totes that were once full of clothing, asks if that is something that may be a need? So I ask Dan the obvious question. Are you a doctor? And of course I get the obvious answer. Yes. Amazing how God works in these situations. Because I’m telling you that I’ve seen some pretty messy wounds in that park and a doctor who may be able to clean them up right there would be amazing. He’s talking lidocaine and stuff like that and I’m thinking, yeah, this will work. Amazing. A doctor on staff. How cool would that be? Well, if we had a staff…

Something else really cool happened today. I wonder how many times I’ve written that in a blog? But seriously, something really cool happened. I’ve written about our friend Wade or referenced him several times over the past few weeks. If you’ve read any of these blogs recently, you know the story. Wade left us recently and it’s been on my mind a lot lately. Partly because of all the responses I’ve gotten to a few of the blogs from family members and friends, but also partly because of the situation. So today, we had the pleasure and honor of serving alongside Wade’s sister-in-law, her daughter and son, her father, and her mother. They made a 4 hour drive in this morning to be here by noon and to serve our friends lunch in the park. I won’t try to insert my feelings here, because I’m sure I wouldn’t do justice to what they experienced in the park today. This whole thing to me is so absolutely incredible. That a family would drive 4 hours and bring a van full of clothing and other things speaks volumes. I was just thrilled to see them today. Not necessarily under the circumstances that we met, but thrilled nonetheless. I know lots of people that have mentioned to me that they’d love to come down and help. And I know that intentions are always good. But for this family to come halfway across the state in memory of Wade is nothing short of amazing. The things that God has done in this ministry continue to blow my mind. This fits the bill. That Wade ended up in what would seem to be an avoidable situation is debatable. Maybe it’s all part of His plan. Of that I have no idea. But it was so cool to spend time with them today and see the genuine love they had for Wade. It was a very cool experience for me on lots of levels. A 4 hour drive to Omaha from Beaver City, Nebraska, 3 hours on the corner and another 4 hours home (that’s an 8 hour round trip for those of us who are math challenged)? Are you kidding me?

The day started a little inauspiciously. Seems our friend Brian had a bit too much to drink and was acting inappropriately or something. I saw nothing, but apparently something happened before we arrived in the park. So I hear a bit of commotion and Robin mentions that I may need to talk to Brian. So here I go in my peacemaker role. I see that Brian is barely functioning. And frankly, in spite of the many issues we have with Brian on Sundays, I’ve never seen him in this state. So I was a bit confused that he’d be so totally out of his mind at this early hour. At any rate, I get him seated on the wall, grab him a plate of food and try to help him get situated. Just as he’s getting ready to eat, 2 of Omaha’s finest show up. Someone has called a couple of police officers to report Brian’s activities. And within minutes, he’s cuffed and in the back of a cruiser. That all happened within about 10 minutes of us arriving. I’d be speculating by mentioning what he was charged with, so I won’t do that. He’s going to need some prayer though. He just might be in a little more trouble than he realizes.

After that, things went fairly smoothly. We had a huge crowd. We purposely kept the menu on the down low because we were afraid that word would get out. Isn’t that a little odd? Us worrying about what God might be able to provide? Yeah, as if we have any control over any of this. So, besides Brian’s incident, it was a spectacular day. Great weather, great friends, great food and great fellowship. And we didn’t get off that corner until probably 3:30 or so. I have to admit, at around that time when I saw Bradley approaching the van from the distance, I was in "bail" mode. I’ll write about Bradley sometime later, but let’s just say he’s a bit high maintenance and he tries my patience at times. Calls me Joe all the time also. Joe? I don’t know. But I’d already had a couple of encounters with him and it was time to hit the road. When he saw us pulling out, he sort of half-ran to the sidewalk but it was too late. We’d made a clean getaway and we’ll surely see him next week.

On a personal note, this has been the first Labor Day weekend in a long time that I won’t be able to call my Dad and talk college football. This is really one of my favorite weekends of the year. Fall is right around the corner. College football, which is definitely one of my favorites, is in full swing and it’s been a time that I’ve been able to share with my Dad. Well, Dad did a post pattern into the great beyond in May. He’s gone now. I watched a few highlights last night and realized that I couldn’t call him and talk about his team or my team this year. It seems surreal. But it’s reality. I’ll figure it out. Not on my own though. The nice thing is I’m guessing Dad had the best seats in the house last night and has all weekend. I'll sign off here how I used to end my weekly notes to Dad. "War Eagle Dad and Go Big Red!"

…as for my family and me, we will serve the Lord. - Joshua 24:15

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Write me in in pencil…

Today was a little different for us. Since I spent the weekend away camping with Nick, we decided to do Starfish Lite this week. What that looks like for us is simple bringing a meal and lots of fellowship. No trailer with buckets of clothing, no socks, no hygiene, no shoes. Just us. And in actuality, the great folks at Papio Creek Church cooked the meal this week, so we simply had to show up with plates, cups, etc., and a willingness to hang out with our friends. And that we did. It was one of the most stress free days I can remember. And after the night I had with my man Nick, that was a pretty welcome ordeal for me. Nick and I spent the weekend at Platter River State Park camping, fishing hanging out and just generally doing the guy thing. We also took advantage of our time to have a little talk about what it means to become a young man. Oh yeah. That talk. But it was an amazing weekend. Nick caught about 6 or so pretty good sized large mouth bass, a bunch of blue gill, a snapping turtle the size of a basketball and a catfish that stretched out about as long as him. It was a great weekend. Right up until about midnight Saturday night. That’s when it hit. And that’s when I remembered the pile of miniature Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrappers I’d seen the night before. My man Nick plowed through a bag of ‘em in no time and they plowed through him in no time. Midnight. 2:30. 3:00. 7:00. Like clockwork. And we were staying in a cabin with no running water. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I’ll spare the details, but it was a long night for my buddy. So a Lite day was a welcome thing indeed. The nice thing about it? It allowed me so much more time in conversation with various folks. Normally I feel like my head is on a swivel making sure I take care of all the things that we do on a Sunday. Today? Not so much. It was actually like a relaxed Sunday meal in the park and it was indeed good.

I was talking to my friend John today. He had a story. Seems he "flies a sign" on a specific corner coming off an interstate ramp every Sunday morning. Now you have to understand a few things about John. I’ve mentioned him before. His place of residence is normally a bridge abutment. He moves around occasionally, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t do the change of address thing with Uncle Sam. But he pretty much lays his head wherever most nights. Oh, and he’s an agnostic. So today he’s telling me the story of his Christian friend that comes by every Sunday morning and drops him a bit of cash. Every Sunday morning. And normally John is waiting on the same corner. This morning? Not there. John, for some reasons that shall go unmentioned, "fell asleep" in a field a little ways from his normal Sunday spot. His Christian friend, however, parked his van, traipsed through the muddy field and found John asleep. Guess John’s alarm clock failed him on this morning. So the guy finds him, wakes him and gives him the usual. So John, I’m guessing a bit surprised at the lengths his Christian friend has taken to find him, tells the guy something like this. He says "You know, I know a couple you need to meet. Dave and Robin are a Christian couple that come to the park every week. They don’t belong to any organized religion, they just love God." He also tells the guy the following, " Dave works at UP and one day he walked out of that building and God tapped him on the shoulder and said ‘Take care of those homeless people in that park Dave’. " So John is telling me this story and I’m taking it in man. I’m always curious what exactly our friends think about the crazy suburbanites that show up down here. John summed it up pretty good. We just love God. And John invited his Christian friend to come visit us some Sunday on the corner. I hope he makes it. Love to meet him.

I got the most amazing email last week. I was in the library one day last week looking for someone and ran into another friend. He is from Nigeria. Been here about 3 years or so. Came here to finish his studies. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s in his early 50s. He’s been staying at a local shelter ever since, as far as I know. And he is the most gentle, unassuming, and just nice guy that you’d ever want to meet. So I run into him in the library and we chat for all of 5 minutes. The next day, he sends me the following email, which I’m sharing with his permission. I was humbled to read his note. It is an amazing situation that I find myself in. It can be very trying at times, but God continually sends these kind of reminders to us. He is so extremely faithful to His ministry. I am so very blessed to be a small part of this thing.
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Dear Dave,

It was nice talking with you on Monday. As I said, you were CONSPICUOUSLY absent on Sunday. Your wife, Robin, as usual was at the helm of affairs. She did a very a good job. It is always wonderful when all of you are there. The absence of either of you is noticeable. This is only my personal opinion.

I find your presence soothing. You exude such warmth and radiate optimism. Your cheerfulness adds extra meaning to what you do. I am Catholic. St. Teresa of Avila said that a sad face Christian is the work of the devil. You may not realise how your (you and your family) cheerfulness adds to what you do. There are other people who come to park to deliver lunches but their attitude I find reprehensible that I do not even want to partake of their "kindness". So please, continue the good work you are doing. You are exemplary especially when the attitude and abuse of some of us who avail themselves of your benevolence is not encouraging. This shows the power of your conviction.

You may be wondering why I am saying this. Charity is not an option for a Christian. It is an obligation. Courtesy is an aspect of Christianity. Gratitude is another aspect. Giving praise to whom praise is due is the greatest praise to God and an aspect of a clean heart. You can see where i am coming from.

Please continue the good work you are doing and

May the God of Love and Peace be with you and your family,

Cordially and Fraternally Yours,
Magundat.
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And finally I had a great conversation with our friend Bill. I think we determined that we hadn’t seen each other since Memorial Day. Long time. You see, Bill had a few arrest warrants our and if he were to be seen in the park, he’d face the inevitable. So sometime during the last few weeks, the inevitable happened. He was arrested and sent to jail. I think this time it was for eight days. Now Bill is a guy I have a standing Thursday lunch deal with. I’ve mentioned this before. He rarely shows up. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve actually met. Maybe even less than one hand. But it’s still a standing deal. And today he showed up for the first time in a couple of months. We talked about meeting this week. His response? I don’t make many plans Dave. I understand Bill. So he tells me to write him in in pencil. It’s the nature of the lifestyle I suppose. Goes with the territory. Doesn’t know if he’ll make it. I will. Have to. As my friend Magundat says, this thing is not an option. I don’t care if it were or not. I’m going. Every week. Every Sunday. Every Thursday. And any other day that anyone wants to meet. Have to. And ya know? I want to. So for Bill? I’ll go ahead and write him in in pen. Because whether Bill shows up or not, I’m going to be there. Because if he does show up, I’ll be there. Have to.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Wade...Part II

I’ve been thinking about something for a few weeks now. Anyone who’s read this blog in the past few weeks knows we lost one of our friends a few weeks ago. Wade Sechtem was found in a lake in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Just a few miles across the Missouri River and only a few miles from where we meet on Sundays. I won’t go into a bunch of details as to how we knew Wade because I’ve already covered all that. Something really amazing has happened over the past couple of weeks, at least in my eyes. A simple blog has become a place for family members and friends to reminisce about Wade and to share memories. Not to be redundant because all the comments that have been left in Wade’s memory can be found on our wordpress.com blog, but I wanted to simply put them all together in one blog for several different reasons. For one, I’ll print them off and give them to Wade’s buddies. I think that is something he’d want. Number two, I put this blog on several different websites and I think it’s important for people to see just what kind of impact a guy can have. Wade was, in lots of people’s eyes, a homeless fellow with a pretty heavy addiction. To me? He was so much more. These comments from his friends and family prove that. He was everyman. Any guy. Could be any one of us. But he was Wade. This is who he was. From His mother, to his twin sister, to his kids, all the way to his little league baseball coach. You see, lots of times when we see a drunken, homeless fellow, we maybe see a guy who we want to steer clear of. Cross the street on the other side kind of guy so as to avoid contact. But these comments paint a different picture. One last thing before I copy them all in. I talked to a fellow last week that knew Wade. As I was standing on the small wall in the park before we prayed, I mentioned to all our friends that I did not know the conditions of Wade’s heart as it related to his relationship with Christ. After our prayer a fellow came up to me that knew Wade. He simply told me that Wade had indeed accepted Christ. Back in March. Not too sure what happened after that, but he had indeed.

Just a forewarning here – this is going to be a little more long winded that normal for me. But these are not from me. The following represents the impact a homeless fellow had on those he touched during his short 42 years here. Please read them and realize that that guy you see sitting or sleeping in the park is someone’s son…brother...father. That guy you see flying a sign? Same thing. Just something to keep in mind.

Here’s Wades story through the eyes of others…

From his Mother…
There are no words that can sufficiently express my appreciation
to all of you who contributed to this blog….most especially to
Dave who created it and had the most recent and last contact
with Wade. Through this and the many people who have talked
or written to me since Wade’s death, I have come to realize
and find comfort in the fact that Wade’s death is not “senseless”.
That this “drunk” may have positively touched more lives
than we who have been or have become “sober”!

His life was not in vain. He has left a legacy of four beautiful
children and one grandchild, as well as friends and acquaintances
who because of his struggles have stopped or paused in their lives
to think about what their role is in this earthly life.

Yes, he caused heartache to others because of his alcholism and
much turmoil, but isn’t the neediest of us often the greatest
teacher!

Thank you all for your comforting words and prayers.

Dave, heartfelt thanks for your work and please pass on my
thanks to his “buddies” in Omaha who care for each other, and
cared about Wade.

I am Wade’s mother who never faulter in her love for her
“baby” son.

And from his twin sister…
Hi and Thanks!! I am Wades twin sister Wendy. I have been searching for information about this crazy death and “why” it has to happen to so many. I found this blog and just wanted to say “Thank you so much” I always wondered what Wade was doing and where he was, was he hungry, cold or hurt, could we of done more, do we just go get him? All the questions I am sure a family has. My biggest fear was him being alone, and now reading this I am feeling comfort and peace knowing he had people who cared. Why should I of worried, because I knew as all his family and friends did… Wade made friends “wherever” he was, he touched lives in positive ways, through laughter was a big way. He could make you laugh at the smallest of things.
Wades funeral service was wonderful, friends from all stages of his life cane and they spent time with myself, his wife, his siblings, his mother and his brothers telling stories of the past and how he made impressions in there lives. Then to read the blog and see the caring, understanding, non-judgmental friends praying and celebrating their time with him is a comfort. Wade has taught myself a lesson in life, not to judge others but reach out and know everyone has a story, be non-judgmental. I pray that Wades death will touch others as well who suffer from addiction to reach out and ask for help, this death is the cross-road, which road will be taken?

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and words for my brother. You have helped in my grieving and answer some questions as to what he was doing the last days of his life. Again, who knows, we can all play the “what if” game and wonder what would of happened if we would of done this for Wade, what words could or should we of said to convince Wade to want to go to treatment. He wanted it bad I know, his pain was deep, but something always made him stay away from treatment, just one more drink and then I’ll go, or I’ll go next week… I am sure he said this many times and then never would go and then feel the pain and guilt of failing again. Sadly, for us, Wade did make it to treatment if I must find a way to help me in my pain of grieving, he made it to Heavens Treatment Center, the center of grace, peace, comfort and God’s everlasting love. He will no longer be a failure in his addiction, he has beaten it. I love you Wade and your legacy lives on and on in your 4 beautiful kids.

My prayers will be for Wade and our family and special prayers for all who suffer from addictions and trying to find the way back home, and for people who reach out to help in acts of non-judgmental kindness to help the suffering.

Thanks. from a twin sister who misses her little brother. You will never know what reading your story has done for my soul.

Wendy

And from his daughter…
My name is Lacey Sechtem I am 22 years old and am one of four siblings, Wade Sechtem was my father. This loss has been extremley hard and painfull for the entire family. We all had this little hope inside that he would find help and get better and come back home. In away he did go home maybe not the home we all wanted but he is at home with Jesus. He is no longer feeling pain, guilt, and shame.

I remember the day my Mother, Grandma, brother and sister went to drop him off in Omaha there at the homeless place. I couldnt even go, it was too painful for me and my other sister. I wanted him to get help and we all had did all we could do for him. We just couldnt help him anymore.

This last year i have missed my Dad so much, i have a 4 year old daughter who missed her Grandpa as well. But it was always so hard to hear his voice on the phone and hear him tell us where he was living and how he was living. It was so painfull, all I ever wanted to do was to go find him in Omaha and take him home and take care of him, but I knew I couldnt.

But to see what this man had written about my Dad was hard to read but nice to read at the same time. It was nice to see that there were people out there trying to help him, and wanting to help him. But what really made me and my family smile was to see that there were peoples lives Dad had touched, even being on the streets, that they did a memorial for him. He was such a good man, despite his struggles with alcohol.

My Dad was a great man, he was an Amazing Father and Grandpa. I remeber when I was in the hospital after I gave birth to my daughter Aza, my Dad was hogging her so much, he held her and rocked her almost the entire day. He was so proud to be a grandpa. I loved seeing how much he loved his grandaughter, but everyone kept giving him crap cuz he would barley let anyone else hold her. Growing up he was so much fun he always took us to the park, taught us how to play golf, basketball, softball, and so much more. We always had so much fun with Dad. He owned several restraunts growing up, and we were always at his side eager to learn. And he taught us so much. He was always there when we played high school sports, always the loudest parent cheering us on. He was always so proud of us, when me and my sister made it to state track several years in a row he was always there in the stands cheering so loud and proud it always made me smile so much.

He was so funny, as im sure if anyone knew him they would know that. He was always cracking jokes and playing practical jokes. I remember one time at my track meets him and some of the other Dads were all sitting by the track and my friends and I would come hang out there in between our events and Dad would tie a string to a pop bottle and then tie it to someones shoe so when they got up and jogged off it would hit there foot and drag behind them. He got so many people it was halarious. But that was his thing was to make people laugh and he was so good at it.

But I know that his last part of his life was sad and not really the way he wanted. But I want people to know that he was such a great man, he was so loving, caring and would do anything for anyone. He always made sure all of kids had everything we needed, he was so good at making amazing meals outta nothing..we would always say there was nothing in the house and he would whip up some big meal.

My Dad was an amazing Chef. Growing up he was head chef of several hotels, his presentations were breath taking, he was so good at making hospitality and food and bringing people together. He has so much of his life to be proud of.

I could go on and on, but wanted to thank the man for writting what he did. It has been a very tough several days knowing I never got to tell my Dad goodbye and tell him that I love him so much. But I am at peace knowing he is in Heaven with no more pain, my family had looked up the meaning of the Lake and it means peace and comfort, very ironic, but I think God answered all our prayers and even Dads prayers by taking him home. I think God knew Dad could never beat this addiction,this horrible diease. So God took Dad home, and as much as I miss him and how much it was so hard to tell him good bye and leave the cemetary yeasterday with his casket on the hill all alone, I was at peace in my heart knowing he is home.

I know my pain in my heart will go away very slowly, but missing my wounderful Dad wont. But we will keep him alive in our hearts with all his beautiful meomories and the beautiful memories that always ended up with us crying with laughter.

We also had memorials go towards the Siena Francis House in Omaha. We want to help out others like Dad that are suffering.

Thank you agian to the man that wrote that blog. It was beautiful to see a man trying to help my father. Thank you for helping my Dad and for trying to help him in his struggles. God Bless you and all his friends there in Omaha.

And from his son…
Hi, this is Isaac Sechtem….Wade’s son. I just want to thank you for writing this. It is nice to know that he had friends that were trying to help him. He was a great father but unfortunatley for his family and friends, he couldn’t break the addiction. All we ever wanted was for him to get better and come back home. I wish he never would have found alcohol. It ruined his life. But it makes me happy to know he had friends in Omaha that cared for him and listened to him. I’m going to miss him so much, but I know he is in a better place now. And I just thank everybody for trying to help him. And for keeping him company. Whenever I talked to him on the phone he would always talk about his buddies in Omaha. Even though some of the things I didn’t like to hear what he was doing but that was my dad. Always pulling jokes, or doing something stupid just to make people laugh. That was his gift. He got it from his dad and I get it from him. Everybody loved him. And it’s gonna be a hard loss for everybody that knew him. And I thank all of his buddies that they had the memorial service for him. I know he would have liked that. It broke my heart to say goodbye but one of the Indian meanings for Lake Manawa was “Peace and Comfort.” And that is what he got from his passing away. The life he was living on the streets was hard on him, and his body showed that. So now he can rest in peace and be with his dad again in Heaven. Because I don’t think he could have taken much more of the life he was living. He hated what he did, but Alcohol is a disease. It tore him away from his family, and he hated that. He loved his family, and I know all he wanted was to be back in their arms. So now he can finally be with them again. Watching over them and helping them through life. And i’m sure he’ll be with his friends too. Because the other meaning for Lake Manawa was “Heart.” And my dad had the biggest one I knew. He loved his friends and family and they loved him right back. It is hard not to like my dad because of his personality. He would help anybody if he had anything to give. And he loved his friends in Omaha and I think they gave him a good couple of years. And I appreciate them trying to help him and get him in to rehab. But like I said. Alcohol is a disease and it controlled his life. Unfortunatley, I believe it played a big part in his death. Like the blog said, what if he would have gotten better. Would what happened, happen? But he didn’t get better, so I believe what happened was what needed to happen. Becuase now he can finally live in peace with himself in Heaven, and watch over his family and friends. He loved them all, and they loved him right back. So thank you to all of his friends, he loved you guys and always talked about you. I wanted you to know that. You guys helped him stay alive for as long as he did. Thank YOU.

I love you dad and will always miss you.

Again, thanks for writing this blog,
Wade’s son….Isaac Sechtem

And from his youngest daughter…
This is Heather Sechtem, Wade’s youngest daughter and I’m 17 well 18 in 4 days. I’ve read and reread this page many times and I cry every single time. Just know how my dad touched people’s life. I thank everyone who has comment on this which yes most of it is family but I so thank you Dave for writhing this Blog! I can’t thank you enought!

I love my dad very much and i’ve missed him every single day. I know my dad hated who he became and i knew that wasn’t my dad. I’ve had countless amazing memories with my dad some good soome bad but now that He’s gone all my bad memories went away and I can remember my dad for who he truly was!

My Dad was the best cook! He could have done great things! My dad was an amazing father to all us kids. He was an amazing friend and husband. My dad taught me so many things throughout my life and I wouldn’t be who i am today with out my Daddyo! My dad thought he was the best singer, thought being the keyword! haha… I loved going fishing with my dad or playing sports with my dad. Going to The Huddle after hours and playing pool til one in the morning! I loved every single moment i was with My dad! I love when we spent like 4 hours looking for some outfirts for my mom and Dad was trying on all these white and red leather coats I’ve never laughed so hard. We’d listhen to Bob Segar’s song “the Answer’s in the Question” countless times on our way back and forht from Kearney to Grand Island! He sure did love his music as do I. I am alot like my dad and I have never ever once regreted it. I’m proud to be like my Father, the one that everyone looks up to the one that you could count on and the one that everyone loved dearly!

After we dropped my dad off in Omaha I knew that was it. I knew we tried everything and that it was up to him. We all thought that when dad met up with Bobby that it was it. It was the thing that was going to turn it around. Even though that didn’t happen we are so grateful that Bobby took care of him and did what he could, so Thanks Bobby!

Last time I saw my dad was thanksgivng of 2007 and I knew that was the last time I was going to seem him. I cried nights and nights and prayed and prayed that, that wasn’t true but I knew deep down it was. I haven’t talked to my dad since April of 2008 and it drove me absolutely crazy not talking to him, not being able to get ahold of him. at the same time It just got harder and harder to talk to him. I know that now my Dad has finally beat his addiction and he is at peace now. I miss my daddyo every day and I feel lost without him. I do know he’s watching me and my family everyday I just wish he was here.

I could go on and on and on of stories of my Dad and memories and how much I love him but this will sum it up. (and I’ll probably repeat myself)
I love My Daddyo very much and I know he was a very loved person. He touched so many peoples life and I know that i am one of those people! My dad is gone but his legacy is still here amongst My sisters, my brother and I! I’m so thanksful to be like my Daddyo!

And from his brother…
your comment that no one could reach him to make a difference is the lynchpin of trying to understand (and ultimately accept) what happens to an addict or an alcoholic. no one can reach the addict except those who he will reach out to and, unfortunately, humans, no matter how good their intentions may be, will not suffice to carry an addict to healing. only God can do that. an addiction is just like a cancer and once you get it only a miricle can flush it out of your system. so no matter how hard wade tried or thought about “kicking” the habbit there was no way it was going to happen absent a humbling cry to God and even then it must be within His will to give you the power to get rid of the...

And from his little league baseball coach…
After talking with Fay on Sunday and reading about wade the past few days I knew I had to share my time with Wade throughout his LL career. It started out as a fun-loving 10 year-old with the red baseball glove. The first week or so of practice Wade had a couple of accidents at the conclusion of practice on 2 consecutive days. As practice was wrapping up the first day, Wade was at third base and I was hitting pop-ups to everyone and they were to come in after the catch. Well Mom (Fay) pulled up across the street and Wade missed his pop-up and it hit him in the eye. The next day (again Wade at third) I was hitting grounders to everyone and they were again to follow it in. Well Mom shows up again and guess what? The ball takes a bad hop and hits Wade in the mouth chipping one of his front teeth. The poor kid. The next day Wade asks if I could take him home after practice everyday and of course I said I could and he never again got hurt at practice. I guess Mom made him nervous when she pulled up and he would lose his concentration

What a great kid he was! Backing up some when Larry and I went around to tell everyone they were on our the Rotary baseball team is when we found out that Wade had a twin sister Wendy. After getting to know her I found out what a great fun-loving kid she was also. I grew to love the Sechtem family as I would pick Wade and Jerry Sanders up each night after practice and we would go to either Harmon or Collins to watch their friends play or to scout out our next opponent. What a great bunch of friends I got to know of Wades’ in doing this those summers not so long ago.

One time as a 12-year old we were practicing at Central and was having batting practice when after throwing ball after ball after ball to Wade upon looking back he jokingly took a stance on the left side of the plate. My first thought was Sechtem get on the right side but then decided after too many pitches and my arm about to fall off to see what he could do from that side of the plate. Well to everyone’s astonishment Wade was hitting the ball pretty well so had him hit from that side of the plate the rest of the season.

I again coached Wade as a 14 and 15 year-old. Wade was still the fun-loving, joking around kid that he had been in his younger years. I almost forgot about his LOVE of the Kansas City Royals and his beloved George Brett. Boy as a die-hard Yankee fan you can bet that we had our share of smack-talk to each other all those years.

The season of Wades’ 14 year-old season was winding down and we found ourselves in the playoffs with the worst record of the 4 teams. The first round we had to play Kuhns’ UCT team who had only 1 or 2 losses for the year. Well as everyone knows we took care of them and had to face Max and his Elks teammates. We were getting beat like 8-1 in the third inning when I finally decided it was time to bring Wade in and see what might happen. Well we started chipping away into the lead and with Wade pitching spectacularly we ended up coming from behind and winning the championship with Wade throwing 7 1/3 innings of no-hit ball. What a game!

The one thing Wade could always talk about though was his brother Wes and what he did in the finals when he played for the Elks. As the story from wade went was Wes caught a home-run ball in the finals and put a dent in the top pole of the fence at Dryden. This was by far the coolest thing Wade had ever seen done. Well as our season went (even his giving up a home-run to Stacy Imming) we again made a run for the playoffs and again had to face the same teams. Well in the finals against the Elks Troy Crawford hit a shot to center and who was playing in center? Of course it was Wade and he went back and robbed Troy of a home-run and guess what? Wade made his own mark on the top railing at Dryden. Was he ever on cloud nine! Wade was a great pleasure to coach those 5 years I had him and I could play him anywhere (I think he played every position except the outfield corners) and could count on him to get the job done.

I am truly honored to have known Wade and wish that could of kept a little better contact with him when I was done coaching him. Wade was always so fun-loving, caring and joking individual.
I truly wish Gods’ blessing on Fay and her family and also to Cheri and her family as they each deal with this tragic loss of a truly great individual. Wade, buddy I only pray that you are watching over each of us and will keep all close as we each keep you close to each of our hearts. You are truly missed by all!

Ed

And from a friend…
I don’t even know where to begin. I am extremely greatful that there is a public forum for folks to share about Wade’s infusion in their lives. THANK YOU!

I grew up with Wade. I am a few years younger than him and he was best friends with my older brother. They had a posse of a few other great dudes and I was the “Little brother that tagged along”. There were times when they would do whatever they could to shake free of me…but since Wade was always nice to me my hunger to hangout with these guys drove me to endure the nipple twisters, noogies, arm burns, or the craziest stunts they made me do in order to stay around - looking back, all of those guys were hilarious in what they put me through…but it was worth it!

As I kept passing “the tests” I was allowed to hangout more. But then there was a break point when they got into high school - the little brother was put into exile…..but not from Wade.

He ALWAYS hungout with me. The list of thing we did together is incredibly long, but our favorites was fishing, playing the Atari 2600, and dunk hoops (basketball on 8ft rims). I don’t think we ever had a bad time together. And I cannot remember too many times he was ever mean to “the little brother tag-a-long”.

Wade stayed at my house for a couple days a few months ago. When I picked him up I was utterly baffled, and very sad. For the first few miles on the way to my house, I kept lookng at him in disbelief. The thought was, “This can happen to anyone - but not my childhood hero. And certainly not Wade.” Before we got to my house I was ready to cry. That night he had supper with me and my family. My family had heard hundreds of stories about him over the years…but they were also in disbeleif that this was the person that influenced me. I kept bringing up events we had as kids and Wade’s response was, “Uh yeah, I think I remember that.” My heart was in great pain looking and listening to him. By the end of the meal I came to this conclusion: The “Wade” I loved was dead, adn this guy in front of me was an imposter.” I greived his death that evening. I can confirm everything his family has shared in this blog: He hated what his life had become…and he wanted rehab, but would not do it. The saddest thing is that he hated himself, which in turn fueled his hopelessness that he felt. It makes me sad and sick even as I write this. I have ministered to folks in the same situation as Wade found himself - ALL of them hated the way their lives were turning out. ALL of them were in great inner pain.

I talked to Wade on the second nght asking him “How in the workld did you get to this place in life?” He knew, but didn’t know. I peppered him constantly with how much of a great person he is, and reflecting back, I imagine that caused him more pain. He could see in my eyes that I was very sad, and I could see in his eyes that he THOUGHT he let down his favorite fan. for the record, he did NOT let me down. He couldn’t. He just made me very sad. When i dropped him off at his new apartment I prayed with him and told him that I loved him. He said he loved me too - and I KNOW he did/does. As tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this - I know he does/did.

The family statements in there posts here are correct - NO ONE EVER disliked Wade. There is no possible chance of that. Not even remotely. There was zero opportunity for that possibilty. And his influence on folks is deep. Deep to the core of the people’s soul that he touched. When I got the first of many emails telling me about Wade’s situation in Omaha a few months ago - I prayed I would find him. As said in paragraphs above I got my opportunity to love him and be loved by him before he passed away…and a revelation smoked me like getting hit by a train: A major aspect of my life of who I am today was grafted into me by being around Wade growing up. Soem of the things I knew were from him as I got older, but many were a delightful surprise that I have seen in the last few months. Here’s a quick list:

Doing a “gainer” off of the diving board ending it with a massiive explosion of water. I am trying to teach my boys how to do it. Like me, they think it is the coolest thing in the world. And by the way - it is! Night fishing. Enjoying looking at the stars late at night. Loving the baseball great George Brett. (I have lost interest in Major League baseball ever since Brett retired). Loving the rock band The Cars. BTW, my boys 100% love the cars too. Delivering the perfect one liner, especially in tense situations to put people at ease. Being laid back and calm in any situation and dealing with smoothly. A light blue VW bug - he drove one growing up and we had countless times of joy in it…i owned one when I lived in Southern California and knew I owned it because of Wade’s - he would have busted out one of those huge wade smiles had he seen it loaded with surfboards and me standing proudly next to it. The number 26. He wore it in high school baseball…and so did I. I have worn it on my baseball uniforms since high school, and in college baseball, and every softball team i have played on, and now in the Over 30 League Baseball team i play on. I intentionally have worn it as a tribute to my childhood idol. If a team I played on didn’t have the number i schemed for them to get it - they did. This list could go on for so long that this website would melt down…

I love Wade. Wade loved me. My heart hurts deeply for his family. They lost a living priceless masterpiece work of art. and so did everyone else.

Bobby B
Omaha, NE

From yet another friend…
Hi, my name is Chad and I knew Wade for about 35 years. First of all, I’d like to thank the author of ‘another friend is gone…’ for sharing his thoughts and feelings about Wade and opening doors of conversation for all of us to share. Its nice to know that Wade touched others in his last days as he was such a giving person and loved by so many people.
Like his son Isaac said, making people laugh was his gift and he brought tears to my eyes more times than I can count. He just had to be himself.
I was in Kearney for his funeral service on monday and obviously quite sad. In the back of my mind, I kept hoping to meet someone who knew Wade these last years to share our times and memories together, but it never happened. Then, I found this blog. So again… to the author of the “another friend gone…” THANK YOU!!! It is very comforting to know that his buddies cared enough to give Wade an impromptu memorial service in Council Bluffs to say their goodbyes, pray, and say their peace.
As I sat in Wades mom’s house on monday afternoon, talking to some family and friends,Wades love for music was mentioned quite often. Bob Seger’s “Turn the page” was one tune that was repeatedely mentioned. My anger and frustration about Wade’s passing is difficult to deal with,and as we were reflecting on Wades life, ‘turning the page’ was exactly what we were doing.
While facing such a “senseless and avoidable situation”, I was singing the lyrics in my head, and the opening line,”on a long and lonesome highway ,east of Omaha” hit me like a ton of bricks. It seems as though Wader has found a place he has always been looking for, and finally found some peace. I’m sure he is in a better place.
Wade, you are a special friend, and I will carry fond memories of you with me forever. Your family will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for giving me the ability to laugh. I just have to be myself. I love you bud. Kuhn

From another friend…
Even in death, Wade brought old friends together. Hi, my name is Cindy Sherman (aka Broekemeier). I spent my most influencial teenage years with Wendy and Wade. Sneaking out to meet up with the brat pack to “hang out”, experimenting in just about every aspect of life. All the while growing up and expanding the friends circle- we were always connected to the brat pack somehow, forging a bond that feels strong even today.

I received a text from Gokie to call her. She told me the version of the story she heard second hand regarding Wade. Absolutely devastating, time ceasing, dreadful reality. How could this happen to Wade? How and where is Wendy? Kim figures out how to conference call JoLyn, and we all reminisce (after telling ourselves how cool we are to be able to do this without the aid of our children!). Remember that time when… laughing. crying, just catching up. Old friends with opposite lives are completely in synch again. That is what Wade did, even in death. He could calibrate a crowd of people and find the common ground amongst all. He was always teasing. Always laughing. I never saw him treat Wendy badly in front of any of us- they were always laughing. I look at my twins, and I see that connection and how special it is, and how hard this must be for you, Wendy.

I just had to find Wendy when I heard the news. I found her information randomly on line thanks to her website. I called and woke her up. She couldn’t place me at first (gotta love our 40’s) and then the ah-hah clicked, and it was like old times. We talked, cried, laughed (sometimes in the same breath). We were both- WOW- Wade really touched a lot of lives. I haven’t stopped thinking about you, Wendy, or praying for your family or Wade’s family. I only knew you two, not your spouses or kids, but I imagine they are the most genuine people, because that is who you both are.

Wade, without even knowing it, you have left your mark on us, and we will all carry part of you in our hearts. I am sorry you had to hurt so much on earth. I am sorry I had no idea, or I would’ve been praying for you also. You were never alone, as is obvious from this blog. You had so many people pulling for you. Your family takes comfort in that, as do your old friends. God called you to him, to ease your suffering and show you endless love and acceptance that you struggled to find in yourself.

I had not seen Wade since high school. Thanks for this blog to fill in the blanks and give us all some sense of peace in this madness.

Wade- you went through all this for a reason. Whether it was to pull us all together again, help someone else in need, or maybe it is personal for each of us that knew you to help us battle our own private pain… but I just know in my heart that your time on earth was well spent.

Brock

And finally, from a friend of Wade…a guy that is also a friend of ours that we met downtown sometime ago who has an opinion to share about Wade’s life, death and the wicked web that is homelessness.
“I’m just really wrestling with the fact that he’s gone.”

Praised be Jesus Christ ! Now and forever !

You know, what you express above is what family and friends express as grief and thank God, Wade is really grieved by someone. Frankly though, I am glad that he is “out of it.” yes, it can be said that somehow, he should’ve pulled himself with by his own bootstraps if he really wanted “help.” He shoulda, woulda, coulda a lot of things, but you know what? I ain’t buyin’ it.

Wade’s death, for those of us that knew him and gave a rat’s patootie (like Mikey — by the way, for panhandlers, lake Manawa is very lucrative and the cops don’t hassle as much as they do in Omaha.), his death is a treagedy, but it is an ongoing and gtrowing tragedy.

We lose people every year, but usually to winter’s elements or old age. This is changing now and the numbers are increasing…exponentially.

Someone at sometime is going to have to address and care about the “chronic” homeless: we know who they are. The guys (and gals) who have been in and out of the ’system’ (after all, “treatment” is just “the system” in another manifestation) for a long long time and who, as a result, areore than reluctant to TRUST it in any form again.

“Treatment”? You gotta be joking. “Help”? There is none, not for anyone, not now and not later. The deal is this: Agencies are making big big money from homelessness and people who administer “programs” and “treatment centers’ are lining their pockets and living the good life on the ever-decreasing fat of homeless men and women. It is in No one’s best interests to end homelessness, here or anywhere else. Homelssness provides jobs (for those who administer “programs” and “services” and beyond that no one really cares.

the article was interesting to me in that it hinted that perhaps there was some “assault” involved. A-ha. OK I”ll say the word: HATECRIME> You gotta ask yourself the question: what is it about a guy asking for spare change that is so abhorrent that someone might resort to violence?

No one has mentioned the murders of the campers-out-by-the-river. There are many every year. Personally, I notice that not only do people not give a rat’s patootie, they are becoming hateful and abusive.

C’mon. Let’s talk evil Officer H**ns*n at the park and the new rookies and their (I’m sure that they are just following orders…like the Nazis’s) continual and increasing harrassment of “homeless” people.

yuo! I am pretty angry that a life is wasted. Lest anyone think that it was wasted as a result of alcoholism, forget it. It is much deeper than that. let’s face it: If we take the alcoholism position we can “tsk-tsk”, but ultimately we are blaming the victim.

Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? The environment that we ALL live in is becoming increasingly hostile and unable to support LIFE, of any kind.

I am sure that whatever happiness most of us can have is either drunk, stoned or high or hanging out with you and Robin on Sunday. least with you, we know that FOR SURE, someone cares. Why do you think so many opf us are turning to Christ?

Our life is a daily Golgotha.

Bruised, derided, cursed, defiled. This is our lot. It isn’t pretty, is it?

So, while grief is appropriate, there is also anger. Anger at the senseless loss of life that needen’t have happened. Not in a million years.

Personally, I aam glad that Wade went to home to God “where there is no pain, no sorrow, no anger and no grief” but most of all, where is is welcomed

in Christ,
Joe Mounsey
Christian Homeless Person
and not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ

And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
~ Matthew 6:30, NLT

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

A beautiful mess…

So, I sometimes sit here wondering what in the world I’ll write about and I wonder when I’ll simply go blank. Here’s the thing. We go down to that corner every week and a million and one things happen. It’s hard to remember back and write about any one or two things. It is sometime total chaos, sometimes mildly controlled chaos and other times it seems to run fairly smoothly. Today? Seemed fairly chaotic to me. We had quite a crowd today. Lots of people. Lots of barbeque chicken, lots of stuff and lots of conversation. Of all the things we do, that is probably the most important. Just hanging out listening. Anyone that knows me knows that’s difficult for me. Just listening. I have a hard time just doing anything that requires my undivided attention. Sometimes for me, trying to pin me down to actually just sit and listen is somewhat akin to trying to nail Jell-o to a tree. Robin can attest to that. Probably not going to happen. So today when we got downtown, I was feeling a little down. Christian has had a cold this week, so I thought maybe I was coming down with that. I absolutely hate going down there when I feel as though I’m not up to par. I just feel like I’m not giving those folks 110% and that’s just not fair to them. Or Him. But it happens.

So today, we get to our corner and I’m immediately confronted by JoAnne. Now JoAnne is an interesting young lady. And I’ll just leave it at that. She tells me, before I’ve even unlocked the trailer that there is going to be a fight. Great! Nice way to start the day. So I look around and it looks like things are calming down, so we go ahead and get everything set up. Before we pray, I have a couple of announcements to make. Seems that on this day, 11 years ago, my boy Nick joined the Laney family as a full time member. So I let everyone know that today was Nick’s day. And the whole group broke into an impromptu rendition of Happy Birthday to Nick. He was simply one big, fat grin. From ear to ear. It was a sight to see. Because if anyone gets it in my family it’s Nick. Now don’t’ get me wrong. We’ve been at this for almost two years now and my kids have been in since day one. They get it. And Robin surely gets it. But it was Nick that said, way back in early November of 2006 as we sat in the van surveying what it was we thought we were going to do, before ever setting foot on that corner, as he was munching on a bag of cereal, that we could just start that day and he’d donate his cereal. That’s Nick. He’s a kid and he has his moments where I, as a dad, wonder what the heck he’s thinking, but far more often than not, he gets it. So today, to hear our friends singing Happy Birthday to Nick, well that was pretty cool. You see, they know us. And I think they trust us. I hope it’s because we are real to our friends. I guess by that I mean we really have no agenda. Other than to share our faith with them and to pray with them and to offer a little hope and love to them. Truth be told, Nick could be the face of this whole thing. And here’s why. Nick has this childlike thing about him. I guess it’s because he’s 11? But he has no hidden anything. What you see with him is what you get. I hope that’s what our friends see in all of us. Transparency. It’s what you get with the birthday boy. And he has some friends down there. Nick is in the know. It’s so cool to see my kids want to go down and help. And with them, help, lots of times simply means being a kid and talking to people as such. Just seems different with Nick.

I probably spent an hour with one of the neighbor girls this morning. I was in the garage getting all the stuff ready to go and she was there asking questions. For an hour, we talked about what it is we do downtown and she helped me fold socks, load the trailer and just hang out. It was interesting to me to break it down to a level she could understand. Most times I don’t even understand. She’s 10. So as I was explaining it all to her, I really had to step back and grasp what it is we do each week. And it really is something that could only be orchestrated by God Himself. Some would say otherwise, but I know better. This little girl was thoroughly interested. She comes over to our house to play with the kids all the time, but this was by far the most I’ve ever talked to her. I kept thinking she’d get bored and want to leave, but she stuck around. To the point that I invited her to come down with us, anytime. Well Erin took that and ran with it. So she and her younger brother came down with us. And they hung out with our friends and the thing about kids is they have no fear most times. Now that can be good or bad, but in this case, it was good. Because I know our friends pretty well. Some of them drive me crazy, but ain’t that the case in any situation. Work, church, family, whatever. There’s always a few that push us over the edge. But the kids are far more forgiving. So today, Nick and our neighbor friends hung out with our friends downtown and Nick must have been wished Happy Birthday a hundred times. It was good.

One last thing. There’s a fellow that’s been coming down for a few weeks now. His name is Don. Has a trach and usually covers it with his thumb to talk. I haven’t had much time to get to know Don very well. It’s on my list of things to do. But today I got to know a little of Don more than I would have imagined. He asked one of the great people that come down so faithfully each week to help if she might be able to get him a bottle of powder…body powder, talcum, something like that. She asked me if it was ok? It would mean she’d have to leave to go get it. I just told her to be careful. So her son comes back with the powder a bit later, discreetly hidden in his pocket. So Don commences to basically take a powder bath right there on the corner. We were packed up and ready to leave and he was bathing in the stuff. Whatever works. So Robin gets in the van and Don has one last request. "Dave" he says. "Could you RUB some of this powder on my back?" Huh? Me? Now Don is a pretty big fella, and I was wondering exactly what tact I should take here. Wasn’t much of an out for me. I know this thing is going to happen. So he takes out a sweatshirt that I’d given him earlier and pours some of the powder on the sleeve. Tells me to use that to put it on. Then he hands me the bottle. Robin is in the van laughing hysterically. Thanks Robin. Love ya! And then off comes Don’s shirt. My first thought? Jesus washed his homey’s feet. Surely I could help my friend Don. So I pour the powder on his back, all the while getting instruction from Don to make sure I get it on right. I’m laughing as I write because, looking back, it seems so crazy. Don telling me to make sure I get those shoulder blades real good. Now mind you, it only took me about 30 seconds to do the deed, and I was using his sweatshirt to apply the powder, but I have to tell you it humbled me. I’ve done lots of crazy things, but that was a first for me.

Here’s the bottom line. Lots of crazy stuff happens in a two to three hour window on that corner each week. But we are so blessed to be able to gather in the presence of God and so blessed as a family to be able to do this week in and week out. It can get a little messy at times. Literally and figuratively. But it’s a good mess. A beautiful mess. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I am so amazingly blessed as a husband and father to be able to share this with my family. It’s pretty amazing. A mess, but a beautiful mess. Now the powder thing? Well….

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Another friend is gone...

Body found in Lake Manawa identified

CHAD NATION, Staff Writer, cnation@nonpareilonline.com

07/31/2008

The Council Bluffs Police Department released the name of a homeless man found dead at Lake Manawa State Park. Criminal Investigation Division Sgt. David Dawson said Wade A. Sechtem, 43, was found in 10-feet from the shore slumped over a partially submerged picnic table at 1:05 a.m. Thursday.

Preliminary autopsy reports issued Thursday and an ongoing investigation appear to suggest Sechtem drowned.

The body of a 42-year-old man was found at Lake Manawa State Park Thursday morning.
Council Bluffs police officers were called to the north side of the lake near the "old beach" area at 1:05 a.m., after an unresponsive man was found deceased in the water.

Criminal Investigation Division Sgt. Ray Mabbitt said the identity of the man would not be released until his family was notified of his death. Mabbitt said investigators believe the man was a transient.

Detectives are still investigating the death. Mabbitt said investigators have yet to determine if the death is suspicious in nature. An autopsy is scheduled today at the Iowa Medical Examiner's Office in Ankeny.

Mabbitt said there were no gunshot or stab wounds on the man's body, but he could not speculate on assault wounds.

"Right now, we have a death investigation," Mabbitt said. "Hopefully the autopsy will tell us more; whether it was merely a drowning or something else."

Mabbitt said investigators have talked with a man who found the body in the lake and a "couple" of people who were in the area when the body was discovered. Mabbitt described the man who found the body as a friend of the deceased.

********
I don’t normally quote newspaper articles in this blog and I hope I’m not out of line here. But something is really bothering me tonight and this seems to be a way to sort through some things.
I was reading the paper this week and came across an article about a person drowning at a lake in Iowa. Just across the Missouri River in Council Bluffs. At Lake Manawa. A semi popular lake for boating, skiing, and whatever other water sports a person could imagine. So as I skim through the newspaper, I come across an article similar to the one above and I wonder to myself if I know this guy. I recognize the first name and wonder if it’s the Wade I know from downtown? Could it be? Nah. This guy wouldn’t be over at Lake Manawa. Would he? Last I knew, he was staying outdoors in a park downtown I believe. Surely this wasn’t the same guy.

I know a guy downtown by the name of Wade. Know him by first name only. I’ve known him for about a year now. Last summer, he started showing up pretty regularly. And I could tell he maybe wanted to get some help for his drinking problem. He seemed to have it pretty bad. So I gave him my number and told him to call anytime. If he ever wanted someone to help him get into a treatment facility, whatever. Just call me. Time went by and I only saw him on Sundays. But I saw him most every Sunday. And then one day I get a call at work from Wade. He wanted help. He’d checked himself into the Campus for Hope. A rehab center. So what did he want from me? He was already taking the steps to get himself back on track. And for clarity, I’d only known him for a short time back then. So he calls and needs help. Seems he left a few of his things in the park and wanted to know if I’d help him get them. Sure. We made arrangements to meet and we’d go to the park to get his things. I wrote a blog about this last summer. It was amazing to me. He had things stashed in the park in places that I would never have imagined. Yep me. Mr. Suburbanite. So I take him to the park and we gather his bags. Several of them. I swear it looked like he’d just gotten off an airplane for an extended stay at someone’s house. But there it was. Everything he owned in several duffel bags and suitcases. So we grab the bags and head back to the Campus for Hope. You see, he was on his way to a 3/4 Way House. He way on his way to whipping an addiction that had taken over his life. Caused him to live in parks, under bridges, in shelters. He was only a little over 40. How? How does that happen?!

So I don’t see Wade for a while and that was good. My assumption? He was one of the few who might make it out. But then a few months ago he reappears on our Sunday corner. In not so good shape. Apparently not at the 3/4 Way House any longer. Because he was feeling no pain. Now I use that phrase sometimes here to describe a friend we’ve met in our downtown activities. Feeling no pain. Well, that’s a pretty ridiculous phrase to use, especially in this case. Wade was in immense pain. Most every time I talked to him, he broke down. He knew he was in a storm of an addiction and he didn’t think he could beat it. Ever. Told me so many times. One of the last times I saw him, a few weeks ago, I offered to take him back to the Campus for Hope. He was ready to go and then talked himself out of it. And then last Wednesday night? He talked himself out of it once and for all.

Like I said, I read the article last week. Talked myself out of believing that it could be the Wade I knew. I mean, it just couldn’t be him, right?

Today, as I was making my way through the line where our friends once again have to wait to get a meal, I came across a few friends I hadn’t seen in a while. They had bad news. They had been "camping" over near the Old Beach at Lake Manawa. Several of them. Wade included. They had a picnic table submerged in the water, about 10 feet off the shore. They used it to dive off and just as a spot to stay cool in this God awful heat we’ve been having. Apparently Wade had been hitting it pretty hard lately. One of his buddies, Mike, even mentioned to him that he might want to take a "week off". Didn’t listen. Apparently he was hitting it pretty hard last Wednesday. He passed out on the picnic table. Drowned. So today, when they told me the news, I thought back to that Sunday when we were trying to get him into rehab. What if he’d gone? Would it have made a difference? Or would he have ended up in the same kind of predicament at a later time? Who knows? I’m just really wrestling with the fact that he’s gone. Every time I hear of one of our friends passing, I wonder why? Why does it have to happen? Why? Can’t we make a difference in a way that keeps these kinds of things from happening? Well, obviously not. I mean, what do we really have control over when it comes to these things? We can pray for a guy and do. We can offer to help in various ways, but a guy has to want help. Wade’s death seems like a big, fat waste of his young life to me. He was 42. Was it just his time? I don’t know. Seems like a pretty senseless and avoidable situation to me. But it happened.

As we were talking about it today, the fellas mentioned they had an impromptu memorial service at the lake for Wade. We prayed together today. One of the guys broke down pretty good as we were praying. The thing is, this was their buddy. He’s gone now. It has to hit home for them that this didn’t have to happen. I mean if it were God’s will, then I guess it is what it is. But I have to believe otherwise here. Just really bugs me that Wade is gone and no one could reach him to make a difference. A guy has to want it, but…

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Rest in peace Wade…we’ll miss you buddy.

…it matters to that one… :(