Don’t know what I don’t know?

I’ve learned a few things over the past couple of years. Now that may strike some as fairly silly because I’m sure at times I come off dumber than a stump. But I’m serious when I say this thing has been unbelievable unique learning experience for me. One thing I know for sure. I certainly don’t know what I don’t know. I have no idea what a fellow, who might happen to be down on his luck, homeless, living on the streets, etc. is feeling at any given time. Now that may be an obvious observation, but when you really get down to the brass tacks of it, I have no idea. I mean, take for instance a guy who whips out his wallet to show me a picture of his family. Now, I’m talking about a fellow who at one time had a family, a home, a job, whatever. And now? Living at the Open Door Mission, the Sienna Francis House, The Stephen Center, the street? I mean how does one go from that to that? How is that possible? I know there are certainly people who say it can ever happen to them. Never is an awful long time. That much I know. But how does it happen? I met a fellow today. Happens every week. I meet someone new and wonder how? This fellow was recently evicted from his place. I saw him as we drove up. Pulling a roller case with I assume almost everything he had. He came with another couple that we’ve known for a while now. As Robin spoke with him, the tears flowed. The guy was in pain. It’s a real pain. It’s a pain which with I am not familiar. Anyone who thinks it can’t happen to them should talk to Albert. Somehow it happened to him. I didn’t get the entire story. It’s simply another jarring reminder to me that I truly do not know what I don’t know.

A fellow showed me a family picture a few weeks ago. Typical, happy family. Dad, mom, a couple of kids. Everyone looked very happy. But for some reason he’s homeless. Or was. Until a couple of weeks ago. Walt now has an apartment. Robin and a few others have been helping him with the things a guy needs to get started. But until that time, he was living in a shelter. Going to school, trying to make a go of it. Doing all the things he need to make it work, yet still there…in the sea of chaos known as the Francis House. I recently mentioned to a friend that I wanted to spend a night there to see what it’s like. His words to me? Don’t do it man. They’ll eat you up. Now I don’t think it’d be that bad. The problem for me now is that I know too many people there. I’m not sure I could pull it off for that reason. I did it once at the Open Door Mission, but that was a different time in this crazy journey we’ve been on. So Walt, a guy who doesn’t appear to have any obvious or apparent issues (addictions, etc.) has been living in the Francis House for at least the couple of years that we’ve known him. Why? How long would it take for me to be in that situation before I’d had all I could take and did something about it? I have so many questions this week and I have absolutely no answers to most of them.

But what I do know it that guys get out. I’ve seen it. I talked to a guy once who was doing this sort of thing in a different city. He wanted to see results. Wanted to see success stories. I suppose that’s just how he’s wired. I want to see results. But one thing I’ve learned over the last couple of years is that I have absolutely zero control over any of this. We can show up, help a guy get a pair of shoes, a pair of socks, a shirt, a great hot meal…whatever, but we have no way of doing anything other than showing up consistently and being there. In a way that lets them know that we are there because God sent us. Here’s the thing for me. I learn pretty well when it comes to repetition. If I can repeat a guy’s name a few times or associate it with something, it helps me remember it better. So when a guy thanks me for anything on that corner, I always and I mean always let them know that they shouldn’t be thanking me for anything. I say it so much that even I get tired of hearing it myself. Sort of. So the natural inclination it to do just that. Thank the person helping. But they have to know why we are there. That much I do know. I don’t know much but I do know that. So I always make sure our friends know Why we are there and Who sends us. Last week I gave a fellow named John a big bag of blankets and other things. He sleeps outside. Under a bridge. We’ve known him for almost two years now. He moves around a bit out of necessity. Or is it because the city discovers his "camp" occasionally and moves him? So every once in a while, he’ll need new bedding. For his outdoor home. And I just like John. He’s a likeable guy. So when I gave him the bag last week, his response was to thank me. I corrected him as I always do and told him he knew Who to thank. Now John isn’t much on the believing side, if you know what I mean. So when I say things like that to him, I usually get an eye roll. But last week he just looked back over his shoulder and said "well thank both of you". I just laughed. I don’t know what keeps a guy like John in his present circumstance. I mean, I’ve talked to him several times and he’s told both Robin and me his story. But I just can’t imagine what keeps a guy "living" outdoors.

And then there’s Dan. Dan’s been living at the Salvation Army and participating in the work therapy program there. I think he graduates soon. He’s been cleaned up for quite a while now. Lifelong alcoholic. Big sports guy. Had a fledgling pro baseball career after high school. Got injured and had to hang up his spikes. Turned to alcohol at some point. Didn’t turn out so well for him. But now? 245 days of sobriety. And he keeps coming back every Sunday. He’s due to start collecting a nice pension soon. It can’t come soon enough I’m sure. But it’s coming. And he’s cleaning up for that one. Last week as he was leaving the downtown area, I told him goodbye and said I’d see him at 232. As of last week, he had 225 days of sobriety. So I’d see him the following Sunday at 232. This morning I was thinking about Dan. I wanted to remember the number of days. So I knew, according to my calculations, he’d be at 232 this week. So when I see him today? I mention the number. Nope. 245 he says. Huh? How did we get from 225 to 245 in 7 days? That ain’t the math I know. Said he miscounted the days. He’s actually at 245. I mentioned that he’s messing me all up. He was surprised that I was thinking about it this morning. I think about all sorts of things. My brain has to be a pretty scary place, mostly. So when he told me the correct number, I chalked it up to not really knowing much anyway. But I did make note. So next week? 252! That much I know. And Dan is on his way. By the grace of God, he’ll make it. Of that I have no doubt. Some people you just know they’ll make it. So this may not be a results based journey, but we do and will see results. That much I know.

And of course my weekly tribute to Eric. He’s brilliant and…I love him.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Bringin’ it!

Today, as we made our way downtown, we actually took pictures from the van of the wicked looking cloud formations hanging over the Eastern horizon. So which direction were we heading? Well, East of course. I hate to be so repetitive, but this is something that Robin and I joke about, laugh about, pray about and simply put, tell anyone who will listen. It just doesn’t rain on us when we go downtown on Sundays. Like I said, I hate that I mention this so much, but today was simply the epitome of our faith and the fact that God has us covered on Sundays. This morning, as I loaded the trailer, the morning sun gave way to some pretty wickedly dark clouds and even a few drops of rain. I had the television on inside. The British Open was on I always like watching and listening to the major golf tournaments. So the Super Doppler Storm Team 7 Skycam First Warning Weather was telling us that we were in for a bit of trouble today. And I have to tell you I was wondering. Doubting maybe? How many times can we pull this off without getting absolutely soaked and eating with our friends in a torrential downpour? And to top things off, Robin committed our pop up canopy to a friend of ours for the day. I have to tell you when she told me she’d done that, I thought she’d lost her mind. Any other day but Sunday. That’s the only day we’d probably ever use it and you tell someone else they can use it? On a Sunday? Are you kidding me? It’s our only potential protection from the elements. But then, apparently, we never need protection from the elements. Right? So our friend comes over this morning and I help her load it into her van, all the while thinking to myself…"but what if we need it?" And I have to tell you it was looking as if we might need it.

So we get downtown and I see our friends waiting for us. I wonder if we are going to make it. I even go so far as to tell Robin that we might have to do an abbreviated version if the weather gets ugly. The thing is, we know it’s possible. It’s the weather for goodness sakes! And this summer, we’ve seen some of the most bizarre weather I can ever remember experiencing. Tornados, floods, you name it. Seems like we are in this endless Super Doppler tornado/severe thunderstorm watch/warning here in the Midwest. And the heat has been pretty intense. It is July. So you just never know what you’re going to get. Well if one would keep the faith, one might have a pretty good idea. So as we are unloading the trailer and getting set up, I look up and the skies are pretty black all around. The winds are kicking up pretty good. I’m handing tables, coolers, containers, whatever, out of the van at a pretty frantic pace. Trying to beat this thing. Whatever this thing might be. So we get set up, hurriedly, and I take my place on the small wall so we can pray and get this thing off and running. Now remember, the skies are black as far as we can see while we are setting up. In all directions. I did see a bit of a break off to the West, but I’m thinking that we are going to get it and get it good. We always begin with the Lord’s Prayer. Collectively. All of us. It’s really very cool. And I normally follow that up with a quick prayer asking God to bless our time together, to bless the meal, and of course thanking him for the opportunity to gather in His name. On what is a pretty filthy corner otherwise. But not on Sundays. Not from noon to 2:00 or 3:00 or whenever. And apparently not today. It was indeed the quickest prayer I’ve probably ever prayed on that corner. Because, as I began, a wicked wind kicked up. You know the distracting kind. The wind that kind of makes you look around and say uh-oh. We might be in the middle of something here. It distracted me to the point that I looked up and saw plates and paper items blowing off the table. So we gave thanks and tried to hurry things up. Now if I had maybe a little more faith, I would have stood strong on that wall and gave Him the thanks and praise he so richly deserves. But it was a little scary. I have to be honest. So I was distracted to the point that I kind of hung around the table to see if we couldn’t hurry things up. Robin was handing out flatware in the line and even had the gall to tell me to have them hurry things up. Oh ye of little faith…Dave and Robin. And then, as our friend Steve told me as we were unloading, we were going to see a miracle. And we did. The skies cleared and the winds died down. And it got hot. Now some might say whatever? So the weather just changed. Didn’t have anything to do with anything. Well, some might be wrong. Maybe. Because, I’m telling you it was extremely ominous when we removed our butts from the seats of that van and began unloading. And it was all around us. Know what I think? When I was praying on that wall and that wind kicked up and started blowing stuff all over the place? It was almost as if God Himself was saying to us…"I am here. Let’s get it on". Because I suppose that’s how he operates.
One of our friends mentioned something today that clarified that to me. And it was a simple thing. It was about hot sauce of all things. He mentioned that once he was going through the line and thought he might use a little of the hot sauce that is always present on the table. Hadn’t used any hot sauce in quite a while and thought he might use a little on that particular day. He got to a spot to begin eating, took a bite of the soup and according to him, used a mild expletive to pronounce to those around him the degree of heat in his mouth at that moment in time. He took the time to go back to the table and see exactly what it was he’d seasoned his soup with. Rule number one? Always check the label first. That darn Habanero hot sauce will have a little more kick to it than your average Tabasco sauce. I told him if we’re bringing it, then we are bringing the heat man! And that’s how God works. If he’s bringing it, you better step back my man and watch Him work. He’ll bring it.

And today? He brought it. Like He always does. I don’t know why we are always so amazed that he keeps us dry on Sundays. Or that He continues to provide in the way that He does. Because He is simply amazing in that sense. Maybe it’s just hard to believe that He’d keep providing in the manner that He does. That we could experience a change in weather the way we did today and have on other occasions and doubt that it could happen? You almost had to be there to experience it. Anyone that was there can attest to the fact that something very cool happened on that corner today. And continues to happen. Lots of life storms brewing on that corner. Lots of everyday, anyperson, dealin’ with life kind of storms. He can change ‘em. We know that. In the blink of an eye. Gotta have faith. Gotta bring it week after week.
I got an email from a friend of ours. I’ll end with it because it was so cool to me. He was simply thanking us, but it was so much more than that and he couldn’t possibly know how much it meant to me that he would take the time to send it.

Here’s his message…

"Dear Dave,

This is _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. I should have written and mailed this letter. This is the proper thing to do but in the situation in which I find myself, this is the best I can do. I hope you don't mind.

Thank you very much for the belt you gave me on Sunday. I appreciate it very much. Now I appear better dressed. You cannot imagine how grateful I am.

Thank you also for the selfless service you do on Sundays. I understand you have done this EVERY Sunday for close to 2 years - without missing - come rain or snow. Consistency is the distinguishing mark of a man. What impresses me most is the cheerfulness with which you and your family do it. It is exemplary.

May God Bless you, your family and your ministry.

Kindly pass this message of gratitude to your wife, Robin. Give your children my regards.

I am,
Sincerely and Gratefully Yours,
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"

And my friend Eric Ryan Grob is probably THE smartest and best looking person I’ve ever met. And of course I love him.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Running on Empty…

Today seemed to one of the most controlled forms of chaos that I’ve been involved with in quite some time. Lots of people, cool breeze under the trees in the park, lots of people, old faces, lots of food and did I mention lots of people? It was cool to see old friends again. That’s certainly one of the things I’ve noticed since we began doing this thing. You may not see a guy for months and then he just shows up out of nowhere. Irish Joe was back today. Smilin’ Lyndon also. One of the happiest guys I’ve ever met. Been in Kansas City for a while, but he’s back now. Shawn was back. And Butch even showed up today. Very transient lifestyle for lots of our friends. Funny how that happens. It just dawns on me sometimes that I haven’t seen someone in weeks or months and they suddenly show up. Seemed like there was lots of that today. We didn’t get off the corner until 3:30. I felt pretty exhausted by the time we finally packed up and headed off down 13 Street towards home. But my tank wasn’t completely empty…

I saw our friend Tony today. Off in the corner of the park…by himself. Tony was a guy we helped get to Boston a couple of months ago. Only one problem. He didn’t go. Lined up a bus ticket and everything for Tony. He didn’t make it. If I were to venture a guess, I’d say that we’ve been able, by the grace of God, to help 10 or 15 people leave Omaha and get home or at least somewhere that meant maybe a new possibility. A new outlook or perhaps a new opportunity. Tony showed up one Sunday and asked for help. Needed a way to get to Boston. He clearly wasn’t from around here. But he has a couple of kids here and I believe that was the pull to keep him in Omaha. So we did our best to help him get to Boston. I’d guess that of the people that we’ve managed to get on a bus, only a couple have actually called to let us know that they made it. And that’s ok. I mean, it would be nice to know that guy made it to his destination in one piece, but it’s certainly not a condition of the deal The deal is unconditional. Guys lots of times tell us they’ll send us the money back as a form of repayment. I don’t think anyone has yet and that too is ok. It is what it is. Maybe one day they’ll be in a position to help someone out. Who knows? So a couple of weeks ago, Tony shows up as we are unloading the trailer and it’s the first time I’ve seen or heard from him since he supposedly boarded the bus to Boston. I was mildly agitated that he was still here. I’m not sure I had that right. But I was. So he apologized profusely and told me that he is still going, but he is just in a bad place and was just confused. So he shows up again today and I see him sitting off in the corner of the park alone. After we get everything set up and I manage to greet everyone in the line, Tony catches up to me and offers the following analogy. He says you know how a car starts running low on gas and eventually runs out? Well he’s running low spiritually and needs a little prayer to refill. So we talk for a bit and he attempts to explain what it is that’s keeping him here. His 2 boys. I can understand that. So he just says that he’s running on empty and can I pray for him. So we pray. A little bit away from all the hustle and bustle of the corner, we prayed. And then he said something to me that humbled me to the core. I won’t go into the detail of it, but it had to do with seeing Christ in what we do on that corner. And in me personally. And I have to tell you that it scares me. It’s a huge responsibility that I believe God has placed with us and to attempt to live up to that is something that frightens and humbles me at the same time. So hopefully I’ll see Tony again. But I pray that the Lord will get a hold of him and show him the way. Whether that be the way to Boston, Omaha or wherever. Just that he shows him the way. One thing he said after we prayed was the he felt about a quarter full. I laughed and told him to see me before he left and hopefully we could get him up to half a tank.

Lots of things happen every week and I really struggle trying to figure out which ones to record in this running journal. I could seriously write a book every week if I wasn’t such a poor typist! But one thing happened today that moved me in a strange way. A couple of weeks ago a lady shows up on our corner. Not homeless. Clearly. And she asks if there is a way that she can help. You see, she met one of our homeless friends on a corner about 5 miles west of where we meet on Sundays. He was probably trying to "earn" a little spending cash and I’m guessing she stopped and donated to his cause. If I got the story right, she thanked him and asked him for a prayer. Frank closes his eyes and says a few words and then says he’s not real good at that sort of thing and then invites her downtown and says that "those guys are better at it than me". Those guys obviously being us. Now we’ve known Frank since day one. Great guy. But he has a serious alcohol addiction. Not so unusual with some of our friends. But he invites her downtown and she comes and wants to help. And she came back again today. The thing about her is she has a real hardship in her family. Her husband was an avid runner. Until 3 years ago. He collapsed one day while on a run and now lives his life in a wheelchair. I can’t imagine. But she has such faith. As I talked with her and her son today, and her husband sat in his chair, seemingly oblivious to all the activity happening around him, I had to wonder exactly what his sense of recognition really was? Was he hearing the conversation that was taking place literally all around him? He didn’t seem to be aware at all. But a couple of times I did notice his head turn…sort of. I was standing almost in front of him and on at least a couple of different occasions, I noticed him look towards me. It was so odd. And we got an opportunity to pray with him for a few minutes. It was a powerful time and I can’t believe our friend Frank was responsible for the meeting. God does indeed have a sense of humor! Our homeless friends inviting people down to see us. The tables are definitely turning on us!

So today was definitely a great blessing. We didn’t leave the corner until almost 3:30. We spent quite a while after everyone had left talking with a couple of fellows who have been studying at Creighton University in what they called the Institute for Priestly Formation. If I understood them correctly, it is a program that assists in the spiritual formation of priests in the Roman Catholic Church. We spent quite a bit of time speaking with them and it was a great conversation. They’d heard about our activities from some of the guys in the park and came down today to see what it was all about. It’s always interesting to me when someone shows up and says they’ve heard about us from our friends. I often wonder what they think of us crazy suburbanites showing up every Sunday, trying to share a little of our faith with them. But not really. Because after hanging out with them for the past 20 months or so, it’s become pretty apparent that that the road goes both ways. Whenever I seem to be running on empty, I just show up down there and God most assuredly blesses me with a least a half tank or more. It’s all good.

And my friend ERG is one beautifully gifted individual. And of course I love him.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)

Kind of lost it today…

So today was pretty normal by most standards. At least in this world we venture into on Sundays. Kind of hot and muggy, sticky, but always a little cool under the trees in the park. And it sprinkled a little on us. God does indeed have a sense of humor, because Robin and I are always telling everyone who will listen that it absolutely never rains on us from noon to about 1:30 on Sundays. It can be raining so hard sometimes that we’d better be lining ‘em up two by two, but come noon? The rains always stop. So today, just as Robin was sharing this with someone, it starts to sprinkle ever so lightly. And then it stopped. Just a bit of God’s humor.

One of the things we’ve always tried to help with downtown is shoes for our friends. It is pretty painful to see a guy show up it tattered old shoes knowing we could maybe help. So it never fails that every week I’m asked for a pair of sneakers or work boots, or in today’s case, a pair of shower shoes even. The fellow asking for them was Sabino. Didn’t speak very good English. Didn’t know what they were even called. And he was trying to tell me what he needed and I wasn’t picking it up so quickly. I mean he really doesn’t speak very good English at all. And then Margie spoke with him. Margie is fluent in Spanish. She told me she’d get him a pair of shower shoes next week. All about the hookup. Another fellow asked for a pair of sneakers last week. Jeff has or had some kind of cancer in the area between his chin and his lower lip. He’s had surgery a few times I believe and it’s healing slowly, but pretty well, however it’s hard for him to control his saliva. Just one of the things he has to deal with, along with being homeless. He always carries a towel to keep it dry, but there is literally a hole in the area between his chin and his lower lip. And his towel usually isn’t so clean. So today we show up with his sneakers, along with about 6 other pairs for folks who had asked last week. So as the day wore on, there was no sign of Jeff. A few minutes after 2:00, I start thinking about packing up and still no sign of Jeff. Another fellow shows up and he asks me if I can help him with a pair of shoes. He is obviously in need. As it happens, he needs the same size I’d gotten for Jeff. Since Jeff didn’t show up, I make the command decision to give Jeff’s shoes to Carl. I don’t know Carl very well, but he clearly needed new shoes. So as I give him the shoes, he asks me to pray "to" him. Huh? It just sounded a little weird. He just wanted a bit of prayer right here and now. About this time, our friend Menelik shows up and kind of inserts himself into the conversation. Menelik sees me giving Carl the shoes and immediately tells me of his need for shoes also. Says what he needs is…and Carl interrupts him and says what he needs is for us to take each others hands because we are getting ready to pray. Now. Carl tells me what we need to pray for, and as he finishes telling me of his needs, I tell him to just say what he just said in a prayer. I’d be more than happy to say it for you, but you just said it pretty good my man. And then Menelik takes charge. As he’s pretty much crushing my hand, we pray…right in the street. The three of us. The African dude, me and Carl. As we finish, Carl tells me we need to do a one on one sometime. You got it Carl. You tell me when…

So as Carl is walking away with Jeff’s shoes, at around 2:15, guess who walks up. You got it…Jeff is here for his shoes. What I tried to explain to Jeff is this - I’m not going home with shoes. If you ask and then you don’t show up, someone else will get ‘em. That’s the way we’ve always done it. Right or wrong, that’s the way. Because if you show up a couple of hours late, there’s no guarantee there’ll be any food, and I have a hard time taking things home with me when the need is so great on that corner. It’s just difficult. So I gave Jeff’s shoes away to Carl. Now Jeff didn’t know who got his shoes, only that they weren’t on his feet. And he needed some. And to say he was angry would be an understatement. And it was apparent that he’d been maybe drinking. Like I said it was about a quarter after two at this point, so we were pretty much wrapping things up. It was particularly stressful for me at that point, because I had a guy who needed a few bucks to make up the difference to get a bus ticket to Sioux City. I had another guy who needed help getting to Fremont Nebraska, but was really trying to get to his sister’s house in Gillette Wyoming. And another fellow needed local bus tickets to get to a job interview on Monday. And yet another guy needed a little legal advice. And it didn’t matter how much I told him I wasn’t an attorney, he kept asking my advice. So I was feeling a little pulled. And then Jeff shows up asking for his shoes, which at this point were walking down Douglas St. on Carl’s feet. So in the middle of all this, I get the universal sign of appreciation from Jeff telling me I was number one! Yeah, here we are trying to help some folks out and Jeff is giving me the "tramp salute", as our friend John calls it. And then he drops a few ‘F’ bombs on me and at this point I’m getting just a little angry at my friend Jeff. And then he yells at Robin asking if he can at least get a plate of food. And then I lost it a little and told him he was p_ _ _ ing me off. Now I’ve never lost it with any of our friends before. There are certainly personalities in that community that don’t mesh well with mine but you get that anywhere. But today, I was just a little more than upset with Jeff and I kind of blew my cool. I don’t think he was expecting it, and I certainly wasn’t. And then when he asked for a plate of food, I kind of lost it. Ironically, as Robin so graciously pointed out to me later, this whole event transpired immediately after Carl, Menelik and myself were praying in the street. So there must have been someone else at work here. Obviously. So I told Jeff we had no more food and I was getting increasingly agitated with him. And then I remembered that there was indeed food in the front seat of the van. A whole pan that wasn’t served. I must admit I was shaking a bit as I took the pan to the back of the trailer to get a plate of food for Jeff. As I brought the plate of food to Jeff, I apologized to Jeff for losing it and he did the same. It was over. That’s how it works. Ask for forgiveness…and then forget it. Next week will be better Jeff. But you better be there at noon. I suppose even if he isn’t I’ll probably hold on to his shoes for him. In the meantime, one of our friends is bound for Sioux City, another for Gillette next week and Jeff will get his shoes. All by the grace of God. Certainly has nothing to do with us. We just show up and the rest belongs to Him.

And my friend ERG is one brilliant individual. And I love him.

Peace and have a great and blessed week.

Go out and make a difference.

…it matters to that one… :)